wild mood swings

Between pregnancy and stressing out about surgery this week, I've been having the wildest of mood and energy swings. Please pardon my attitude for the next few days if I bore/offend/irritate you with my whiny-ness. I am hoping to return to relative normalcy in about a week. And I know you all will be happy to stop reading about thyroid surgery, no? I'll be happy to stop writing and thinking about it, that's for sure.

I got over my slump yesterday and went all sew-crazy. I had spent the morning carefully tracing and cutting patterns and pieces for some wee sundresses, and decided to get off my butt and sew one. Also, I didn't want to cut any more fabric if the size I'd chosen to make for Daughter wasn't right. She is tall but very skinny, so I was already adjusting the pattern for that. Here's what I came up with (sorry for the crapitude of the pics...our 2 megapixel camera isn't so great on a super sunny day):


Pattern: New Look for Kids #6578
Size: 1/2 (smallest the pattern makes) with length adjustment for the size 2
Fabric: Hand-dyed batik print from the shop where I used to work (those are sunflowers if you can't tell)
Fit: Perfect

I am quite proud of this little dress. You can't see in the photo, but this is constructed using lined facings (rather than being self-lined like the blue dress I made last week). This makes the project slow-going but if you take your time it's worth it. And I really did...there are only 4 (!) pieces involved in this dress and it took a solid 2 hours to sew, counting all the fusing of the interfacing, the edge finishing, the pinning, and layering the seams/clipping curves.

I must recommend that any of you who sew garments (especially wee garments) invest a few bucks in either a sleeve press, or a tailor's ham. I can't express to you the difference it makes when pressing small curves. Joann carries both of these and they are cheap...this I say unto you: get to a Joann Fabrics with your 40% off coupon and buy one of these pressing tools! It will change your life.

And I'm so glad I traced the pattern onto Pattern Ease in the size I wanted. This step is a huge pain, especially if you're impatient like I am, but it's SO worth doing. I made the smallest size and would have lost the ability to make the other 4 sizes included in the pattern had I just hacked into it. I plan to make this pattern multiple times as my kids grow, and hope to experiment with corduroy, velour and denim this winter (a shirt will easily fit underneath, especially on my skinny little one). Here's a question for the sewers - if I made this out of a heavier material, what material could I use for the facings to reduce bulk?

And on the knitting front...lookee what I finished!!


Pattern: Secret Garden from The Childrens' Collection (Alice Starmore)
Size: 2-3 years
Yarn: Knitpicks Wool of the Andes in Fern (approx. 7 skeins but I cut into 8 while constructing all the different parts)
Button: gorgeous antique-finish silver shank button with celtic knot design. 2 megapixel camera cannot do justice here, so I didn't even try.
Needles: US size 7 (4.5 mm) - I used a Susan Bates metal circular for the body and sleeves, and then my Denise needles for the collar portion. You need 3 needles at one time to knit the collar on, so the Denise kit came in really handy here.

I LOVE this sweater. I am SO pleased with how it came out. It blocked to the correct measurements, but it's hee-yooge and won't fit Daughter until at least mid-winter. Since it's the 2-3 year size I am hopeful she will get 2 winters out of it. Plus Daughter #2 should be able to wear it in the future. Definitely worth making, and I would do it again. The color in the photo is totally wrong - the Fern yarn is much greener in real life (not so gray like in the pic). Also, the sleeve seams need a press, and the front bands need blocking, I know. So it's technically not completely finished, but I was excited to show it.

I was totally thinking of entering this in the County Fair, but there are just a couple of little mistakes at the beginning. :(

Well, I'd best grab a shower before Daughter wakes up from her nap. Hope you're all having a beautiful weekend!

tired

I am having a real problem with inertia today. An object at rest wants to stay at rest, and my butt is at serious rest on the couch right now.

The child is sleeping and I would really love to sit out on the porch drinking tea and maybe knitting a little, but Hub hasn't mowed the lawn in awhile and it looks kind of bad. Ok, make that really bad. Plus we haven't brought in our trash can from garbage day yesterday. And the neighbors across the street are all outside doing stuff, so I'd feel all funny about the lawn and the trash can and whatnot...it's a bummer though, because it's nice and cool (low 60s) but blazingly sunny. I'd love to drag myself out there.

A little bird keeps flying into the picture window in our family room, right behind my head. It makes a funny sound.

I'm so tired.

uncomfortable

Gah...baby girl is standing on my bladder.

I really shouldn't be spending money but...

honestly, considering I'm having an operation in exactly one week in which I will be permanently disfigured, I don't think $30 worth of yarn is such a big deal. Darn it, I'm worth $30! (Ok, permanently disfigured is a little strong, but I will have a scar across my neck forever.)

Here's the booty:


These are 515 yard skeins of Stylecraft WonderSoft Baby 4 Ply. Three are white and the one in the lower left is actually lavendar, though you can't tell in the sunlight. I'm planning the little yellow set to be made in white, and the little pink and white dress to be made in pink and lavendar. I should hopefully have just enough yarn if I skip the little booties (I don't like them anyway). I know the outfits are hard to see in this photo, but scroll down and you can see them a little better in an earlier post. I'll post better shots as I knit along. Yep, this yarn is acrylic, and that's fine with me. Washable, dryable, and it holds up. Plus...cheap! Mom offered to split the cost with me if I really wanted Dale Baby Ull, but I still couldn't stomach paying so much for a little sweater that will be worn for such a short time. Bummer, though...the Baby Ull colors are so great.

Once Secret Garden is finished (no, I haven't touched it since the last photo I showed), and the set for my friend's new baby is also finished (sweater still waiting for buttons, hat not even started), I will cast on for one of these sets. Probably the little dress, since it starts out with tons of stockinette and I can hopefully work on that while I recover at the end of next week.

I got this too:


Tahki Cotton Classic in bright orange to make pumpkin hats this fall - one for my new babe, of course, and possibly one or two for some other babes set to arrive around the same time. I couldn't resist this as it was only $2. Don't you just love sale bins?!?

Uh oh...6:00 and we have no dinner. I'd better go whip up some grilled cheese or something. Mother of the year? Most definitely not!

random with a side of randomness

Well, I am happy to hear I wasn't the only one drooling at the TV like a zombie over the weekend. After lunch on Sunday I did recover from my state of sloth and did the grocery shopping, cleaned the bathroom, straightened up the house, and whipped my husband into doing the vacuuming. Wore me right out...we are watching "24" on dvd these days because summer TV sucks and I can barely stay awake for 2 episodes a night, much less the 6 or 8 Hub wants to watch. I tried to tell him that if he would help more with the housework I wouldn't be falling asleep on the couch at 9:00 but that went nowhere.

Yesterday I had to go to the hospital for my pre-op testing. That just consisted of filling out a medical history and sitting in a very cold room whilst a nurse then asked me all the same questions from the form again. Then they took my temperature, blood pressure and some vials of blood. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, see you next week. Oh and also? One of the nurses (I think she was a nurse) was all like, "so...what are the risks to your baby with the anesthesia?" Uhhhhh...yeah. Nothing more comforting than having a trained medical professional ask you that sort of question.

I also have to fill out a medical proxy form this week. If that isn't creepy, I don't know what is. I also intend to write something up regarding my wishes in the event that something terrible happens to me - yes, technically we should each have a will but we do not because we are lame - and I will give one sealed copy to my husband and one to my parents with instructions to open it only in the event of a disaster. Otherwise they can chuck it when I have recovered. I know this is a fairly routine procedure but strange things can happen and I want my wishes known. It's kind of awful to think about but it's important - ponder that for a sec. What would you want for your children if you suddenly couldn't care for them anymore? The thought kind of rips my heart to shreds, but the least I can do is tell everyone what I would want for Daughter.

Well, that was kind of morbid. Let's talk about more fun things, shall we? Like the sweater that's almost finished:


Once again this is Secret Garden from The Childrens' Collection (Starmore). It's the 2-3 year size, knitted on US size 7 needles from Knitpicks Wool of the Andes in the Fern colorway. I sewed in the sleeves 1.5 times...because I accidentally sewed the second one inside out the first time. Needless to say I was kind of pissy after that and I had to punish the sweater by throwing it in my knitting basket so it could think about what it had done. Bad, bad sleeve.

But it is now fixed! And the collar is knitted (you can see it there at the top) and ready to be attached. Then I can knit the front bands, weave in the eighty bajillion ends that are hiding inside in this photo, and give the whole thing the old block 'n press. As an aside: I understand that Knitpicks sells this yarn in small skeins so it can be priced cheaply, but 110 yards? Come on. I shouldn't have to weave in this many ends on a little kid sweater that's knitted in one piece out of one color. Do you hear me, Knitpicks?!? I shake my fist at you!!

Since this post was all over the place anyway, I leave you with this random shot of my kid lounging in her lawn chair, reading the tag she ripped off the back. Please don't mind the extreme mess and ugly air conditioner in the background:


The pillows in front of the chair were there to keep her from cracking her head on the floor if she tumbled out. Which did no good when the chair crash-landed sideways seconds after this photo was taken. Moral of the story: when the tag says ages 3-5, it really means ages 3-5. Not so much 13.5 months.

vegging out

It is Sunday morning and there is a "Benson" marathon on TVLand. I'm sorry to have to say this, but I am totally watching it.

The bathroom has still not been cleaned, the kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it, the milk is spoiled and I should really go to the store and get some more, and my in-laws are coming over for dinner tonight...but I'm so just laying here watching "Benson."

craftiness

Today is one of those days...when you look at the clock and realize it's almost 3 pm and you're still in your pajamas. And also? The only thing that's been accomplished is feeding & bathing the kid and making the beds.

My excuse is that I feel like a drunk, wet noodle today. Drunk due to lack of sleep - I had a major panic attack around midnight as I thought about my upcoming operation, so there was much sobbing and sniffling. I finally drifted to sleep sometime between 2 and 3 am. I do all right in the daylight hours when I can be busy and occupied with taking care of Daughter, but in the wee hours all I can do is imagine terrible outcomes of this stupid surgery. Anyway, I feel like a wet noodle because today's weather can only be described as "tropical." It's not that hot (in the 70s) but there has been rain on and off and it feels mighty sticky. On the plus side my plants are growing like gangbusters.

Right now I need to go shower, clean the bathroom (mmmm...nothing sounds better than scrubbing the toilet in tropical weather), clean out the fridge, get dinner started, and begin working on the mountain of ironing so Hub doesn't have to wear jeans and a t-shirt to work tomorrow.

What I would rather be doing:

more dresses for Daughter


adorable knits for the new babe


like this little get-up


and this one...love!!

A question for the knitters - do any of you have a favorite baby yarn for fingering weight projects? I know a lot of people skip the patterns calling for such fine yarns but they're my favorites to make. Is Knitpicks Palette** scratchy? Too fine? I'm looking for about 7 st. to the inch on US 3 needles. I'm also interested in solid colors for the patterns I'm considering. I used some Plymouth Dreambaby DK last year for a sweater for Daughter, and that worked out ok (it's pretty fine for a DK), but I didn't love the colors at my LYS. And also? I'm poor, so I want cheap-ish yarn. Acrylic is fine (hello...it's washable!). If I had more dough I'd get Dale Baby Ull, but I just can't see paying upwards of $40 for one little baby outfit. Any other suggestions are welcome.


This last photo is a little bit of retail therapy from yesterday. The only Hancock Fabrics we have in the area is closing and everything is 30-50% off right now. I went yesterday expecting the shelves to be empty, but they were not. And there was hardly anyone shopping. I guess that would by why the store is closing. Anyway, since Lion Brand yarns are my true love, I grabbed this ball of Baby Soft in a pretty melon color for just $2 (it was the last one). And all buttons were 50% off so I got the pink ones to match this yarn, and the wooden ones to go on the green sweater pictured in my last post.

I want to use this new yarn to make a sweater for the new baby, but I have a hard time finding sport weight baby sweater patterns. Once again I turn to you, oh wise knitters of the internet. I have a couple of patterns I could use, but I have made them several times as gifts and I'd like to challenge myself with something different. Suggestions?

Finally, thanks for the thoughts on the baby jail...oops, I mean play yard. As it is now officially garage sale/flea market season I'm wondering if I might be able to find a used one in good (read: safe) condition. You all seem to like them, so I'll be getting one.

**Anyone want to send me a smidge to swatch? Just a few yards? I'll love you forever!

sweat and sweaters

Hey folks...I trust all in the US had a fine holiday weekend. Now it's time to be screwed up all week because we all feel like it's Monday instead of Tuesday. Fun!

I haven't checked out the national weather situation (and I do, because I love the weather channel and I am lame), so I don't know what ya'll are experiencing right now, but it is pushing 90 here and Hub did not get out the air conditioner yesterday to cool the living room. Suffice it to say it's getting a bit sticky in here. I don't think I'll be working on this until at least this evening when it either cools down a little or I get Hub to haul the A/C unit in from the shed:


Wee baby sweater. Pattern: Knitting Pure and Simple neck-down cardigan. Size: 12 months. Yarn: Encore worsted weight in a pretty green, recycled from a sweater I completed for myself and then ripped because it didn't fit right. This yarn has a lot of history and has been recycled into at least 2 baby gifts now, which delights me because I had a ton of it and didn't want another sweater for myself made from it. Anyhoozle, it needs sleevage, obviously, and I'm on my way, but it's probably too warm to do it today. Also, excuse the curliness. It needs a good block as well. And adorable buttons...which is always cool 'cause it means we have to go shopping. Huzzah!

No shopping today though. I have no car because Hub's brand new car is back at the dealer for repair. We have awful luck with cars lately, people. I mean, if you've been reading here for any length of time, you know all about it. This time he had a loose bolt in the suspension (that sounds kind of bad, no? Freaks me out, anyway...) so it was making a horrible knocking, dragging, grinding noise. It was repaired this morning but he took my car to work. I am hoping we can go get his back tonight or early tomorrow. If we did have the car you can bet we'd be high-tailing it to the beach today. Because I can't even find Daughter's little blow-up pool. I would probably keel over trying to inflate it anyway.

So I was thinking of sewing instead, but I don't know what to do with my kid. She is way too interested in every dangerous item in our house to let her play solo on the floor. I can't take my eye off her for a second or she is pulling a cord, sticking her fingers into the baseboard heat radiator thingys, eating dust/crumbs/dead bugs (no we are not dirty but she finds that kind of crap anyway), army crawling full-bore toward the dog's dishes, and just generally finding trouble. I guess we could do the playpen thing for a little while, but now that she's so mobile she gets really frustrated. Do any of you have one of those portable fence-like play-yard things? Is it any better than a regular pack 'n play? Is your child happy playing in there? I don't think I'd get the $200+ model, but I know you can get a similar item for around $80. We are considering it to pen our kid in...er, keep her from hurting herself, that is.

If I don't sew or do something otherwise productive, I'm afraid I'll sit in front of my computer and get in trouble one way or another myself. Yikes, can't afford that!

Enjoy your Tuesday, all! Stay cool...

sicky-poo

Happy Memorial Day! Or something...is that right to say? Happy Memorial Day? Well, it's a holiday so I'm happy. There.

I have been rather absent due to our first official baby illness. Daughter's fever held for a couple of days and just when I was going to take her to the doctor on Friday, it finally broke. She is fine now but just about gave up eating anything over the few days she was sick. This would be ok if she were a robust and chubby baby, but she is definitely not so I was quite worried. She would only drink diluted juice and pick at the foods I offered. She seems to be slowly coming back around to consumption of actual meals, but it's been slow going. In addition her sleep patterns have been all over the place since Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, which means mine have been as well. Let me tell you, overtired and sick babies really rock the house. Awesome.

But the good news is it's 86 sunshiney degrees today (and was yesterday as well), Daughter is feeling better, my allergies are calming down at last, and we're looking forward to enjoying our holiday as a family.

There hasn't been much crafting (see aforementioned exhaustion) but I've knit a little in the evenings. I'm trying to get a baby gift made for a girlfriend who is due any second, and I started no less than 5 sweaters for the kid (including the blue cabled one I showed a few days ago, in which I dropped a stitch during a cable somewhere and did not have the stamina to find and fix it...the whole thing has been ripped and thrown in a corner). Yeah, me and my knitting have not been getting along. The sweater is coming along now and I should have some progress to show tomorrow. If my child will go back to taking naps on some sort of schedule again, I'm also looking forward to sewing up a bunch more dresses for her this week. We'll need them as it's forecast to be in the 80s for awhile...

tired

I have nothing coherent today...Daughter spiked a fever last night so we did not get as much sleep as we would like around here. She actually slept pretty well but we were worried about her so kept getting up to check on her. Poor kid. She seems much better today but is still a little boogery and warm, and her play wasn't as active as usual this morning - it's probably a little virus or something. I'll be keeping an eye on her today...and probably dozing off here and there.

Have a good Thursday, all.

sewing and rambling

Hang onto your hats, friends...I actually sewed something. I know, it's amazing. Behold:


wee tiny baby dress front


wee tiny baby dress back


cheap and easy pattern

Yesterday Daughter and I drove out to the nearest Super Mart de Wal, which is about 20-30 minutes away straight through farm country. It's a beautiful, calming drive for me, and it always amazes me that so much empty blank space exists so close to suburbia. I mean, we drove on a 65 mph highway through this gorgeous land, so it's not like it's untouched, but it's still a sight to see.

Anyway, we drove out there so I could get a few groceries and some other Walmart-y stuff I needed, and for the change of scenery. Plus I have to add that this particular Walmart is SO nice compared to every other one I've ever seen. It's actually clean and well-stocked and the people who work there are nice. Wha-? Weird. Well worth the long drive & wasted gas.

So we strolled through the craft section, which I cannot help but do, and stumbled upon the "Easy stitch 'n save" patterns by McCall's. These patterns are THE BEST. They cost something like $1.50 or maybe $2.00, and are for only one basic outfit, but they are extremely simple and fast to sew. My kind of project, bay-bee! Especially for Daughter. I'm not putting eleventy-billion hours of tedious sewing into a little cotton dress that will be chucked in the washing machine over and over again. The little dress above is from pattern # M5079, view A. It's made from about 1/2 or 2/3 yard of batik fabric I bought from the end of a bolt when I was working at my old job. The pattern only gives the amount of fabric needed for the dress, ruffled pants, and hat, so I'm guessing at how much I really used. The dress is self-lined (awesome!) which eliminates all but the most basic finishing. All I had to do was slip-stitch 3 seams closed. In fact, the most time-consuming part of this dress was the prep - pinning and cutting the pattern and pinning the dress and lining together. It was a breeze and I'll be making about a zillion more. Side note: there are supposed to be 2 buttons sewn on to hold the back closed, but I am apparently dumb and made the buttonholes about 1mm too small for the buttons I had picked out. So I'll be scrounging and/or shopping for two different buttons before I can declare the dress finished. Dur.

On a different front, thanks for the commiseration re: house issues. Hub and I keep hashing it out and trying to decide if we want to take out a small-ish home improvement loan to fix some stuff up or what. We'll be asking around for opinions and working through the decisions. Just 'cause we were into totally wasting gas yesterday, we went for a ride after dinner (in search of an ice cream stand) and ended up heading waaaaaaaayyyyy out along the lake shore (Erie) until we stumbled upon Evangola State Park. It's such a gorgeous place...I didn't have my camera but you can see pictures here if you want. It's one of those places where you can park and take advantage of everything from picnic areas to swingsets to basketball courts to the beach. We were going to walk around a little but the wind off the lake was very cold and we only had the umbrella stroller.

We drove back right along the lake and were fascinated by what we found. It turns out the park was only 11 miles from our house. As we drove we saw the most amazing lake houses - everything from gigantic mansions with ivy-covered iron gates and stone walls to little shacks built two and three deep. There were parks and several areas for beach access, and through the trees and houses you could always glimpse the lake. The last thing we stumbled upon was Frank Lloyd Wright's Graycliff, which is totally under our noses. (It was the summer home of the Darwin Martin family, whose winter home was also built by FLW and is located in the city of Buffalo.) We knew this was nearby, but never realized just how close.

What I am trying to say, I suppose, is that there is a lot of special beauty right here where we live, and even though our house gives us fits we should probably learn to enjoy what we have. No, there isn't a Target or Walmart very nearby, and I feel like I have to drive forever to get anywhere, but that's also part of what's cool about it.

And now back to our regularly scheduled blog

Hi! Hello there! Remember me? I knit! And sew! No, really, I don't just whine about my life, I do actual hobbies as well. Heaven knows even I am tired of hearing about my health situation, so let's chat about something more fun, shall we?


As predicted, I ditched Secret Garden in favor of starting something else. This will become "Sam" from a Mission Falls book, though I don't know which one. I don't even have a picture from the pattern or anything to show you what it will look like. Sorry! You'll just have to watch this space...

Anyway, this is being knit from Patons Classic Merino in the denim colorway on my beloved wooden needles from the folks at Peace Fleece. I believe they are US 7s. Sorry for the crappy picture, but the predicted sunshine has yet to appear today. In fact, as an aside, it's only in the 40s here today. It sucks! But it should be 80 by the weekend so I'll bear through. The cooler weather and rain do help my allergies.


Here is part of the reason why Secret Garden is being ignored and Sam isn't too far along. This is my generic 60-stitches-on-size-2-needles sock using the Lorna's Laces my mom gave me. I was feeling antsy to knit something brainless...plus I'll probably be able to take these to the hospital to knit on whilst I a) wait for surgery and b) recover from same. Though general anesthesia is not kind to me, so these may just languish by my bedside while I barf. Whatever, in any case I'll be prepared. Oh, and the colorway? Sand ridge. Very pretty.

Not much fun stuff got done over the weekend - just work. Hub hates lawn & garden work with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, so I have to take advantage when he is willing and able to help me. Saturday we (he) mowed and trimmed, I raked and swept and hosed, and we worked together on tilling the front bed and planting a few things. Whoever originally planted there was on some serious crack because they put two hosta, a rhododendron, and some sort of prickly, spiny berry shrub all within about 18" of one another. Oh, and a sad little fir-like shrub behind it all. The rest of the bed? Empty. Well, it had weeds.

So last summer I ripped out the prickly thing (it was half-dead anyway), moved the rhododendron waaaaayyyyyyy over, and planted lots of marigolds so there would be some color. Hey, I had a newborn, it was a start. This year we moved the pathetic fir-like shrub to the backyard, tilled the hell out of the soil, added lots of topsoil, and planted two more hosta. I'm waiting on flowers because I started my seed trays a little late this year. I would take a photo but it's freezing out there. Plus there are men putting a fence around the neighbors' pool right now and I don't want to head out there and be taking dorky garden pictures in front of them. Because I'm sure they really care. And anyway, it still needs some sort of edging and some mulch. So maybe I'll take a picture when it's all done.

On a somewhat related note, I think we've changed our minds about selling the house right now. We kind of hate our house and where it's located, but frankly, it would pretty much wipe out our finances to move. I'm not 100% sure this is our final decision, but Hub has at least asked our realtor (who is his H.S. buddy, as I may have mentioned) to wait on the listing for now. We're just thinking with me being pregnant w/ some slight complications, me having surgery, and me already having responsibility for an almost-toddler, as well as Hub working on a degree and spending mad crazy hours on work projects...well, this might not be the best time to try selling. Plus the money thing. We'd be mega-broke when the dust settled. I think we're going to set a goal of having $X in the bank before we try moving again. Don't ask me how we're going to get to $X...we haven't quite figured that out yet. Rob a bank, perhaps?

The thing is, we're unhappy about our house for mostly cosmetic reasons - they are legitimate reasons to be sure, but they mostly speak to our embarrassment about having people over. Hub and I both come from very nice homes that our parents built, so we are spoiled. We bought this house because it was in our price range and it had all the appliances (which were only about 5 years old). But the porch is an uneven, patched up concrete disaster, the kitchen ceiling is...uh...semi-sagging in a few places, the coat closet is unbelievably gross, and there are many unfinished areas where someone just quit and didn't put up trim or whatever. Plus the boiler room looks like something from a horror movie set. Ugh. We are desperately trying to decide what to do...try fixing stuff up ourselves with some money from savings? Take out a home-improvement loan and call in the pros? Do nothing, just sit on the house till we can afford something better?

We're just not sure if our problem is that we're spoiled, or that this house is really bad. I guess it could be a bit of both. I don't know - at 30, should we be accepting of where we are in life, or should we be struggling so everything looks better? Part of me says we're young, it's ok, we have student loans, car payments, etc., so we have to stay here because we can afford it. But I don't know how long that applies. When I'm 40 do I still want to be saying that?

Aaaaannnnd there I go again, complaining about my life. Sorry!

Ye Olde Blogge, indeed

"Ye Olde Blogge" would be a most excellent blog name, if I do say so myself. Teresa, go for it! Would love to hear more about your little darling in blog form...

For those interested, my lovely surgery will involve several mere mortals putting me to sleep, cutting a slit in the skin at the base of my throat, and cutting out my entire thyroid gland. Mmmmmmmmmmm! Doesn't that sound terrific? My surgeon - a diminutive asian man - was kind enough to let me know he could potentially ruin my voice during the operation. Hooray! Gosh, the news keeps getting better and better for me these days. He was kind of funny though...my husband asked him how big the incision will be and he said, "I can make big. People like big car, big house..." har har har. (It's funnier if you can imagine an asian accent.)

Overall the doctors don't seem worried about the whole thing. Unfortunately I won't know who the anesthesiologist is until I get to the hospital, so I won't have much chance to ask a lot of questions. But I talked to a friend who's an anesthesiologist at another hospital and she gave me the scoop. It doesn't sound fantastic, but it doesn't sound too bad either. She has worked with my surgeon and says he is excellent.

So anyway, I'm sorry if I'm a drag. I didn't mean to start this blog so it could be a bummer. It's just that all this stuff has come up out of nowhere and it's my life right now. Everything else is on hold. I am trying hard to stay positive, and being with my goofy little girl really helps on a daily basis, but sometimes I get a little down. Today I had no drive to get up off the couch, so it was hard to get anything done. I almost engaged in a little internet retail therapy, but I held myself back.

One bathroom did get cleaned, the utility room is now organized and clean as well (we have no basement so that room is the total catch-all), and the laundry is almost all done. I've pulled everything out of my closet that I'm not really wearing right now so it will look bigger and more spacious. The family room looks like a bomb went off in it because that's where everything is landing right now. But we will be ready to show on Monday.

Thanks for your continued support, all. Your comments mean a lot, and I am reading you as well for my daily procrastination. I'm sure things will work out as they are meant to; please just bear with me through this stressful time.

For your amusement, here are the words my daughter now says on a regular basis: Ella (our dog's name), dog, duck, hand, dada, what's that?, grandma, grandpa, count, and one. She also has 4 teeth and brushes them with her Elmo toothbrush morning and night. And she blows kisses - cutest thing ever. She can also point to her head, nose, teeth, belly, and toes.

insane in the membrane

insane in the brain!

(bwahaha...now you all have that annoying song in your head! right? please say it isn't just me...)

Sorry for being woefully absent from ye olde blogge. Found out today that surgery is in exactly 4 weeks (June 14) and am freaking out just a little bit inside my little head. Husband who is normally pillar of strength also freaking out over pregnant wife going through difficult time. Would never admit to this but I know my husband...

Much to do. Brain melting.

"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect." (Roseann Barr)

Happy Mother's Day, ladies. Kick the kids out, make some tea, read a book, sew, knit, take a nap. Above all, enjoy!

oy

I haven't shared this yet, partially because my overloaded brain can't take it, but we are putting our house back up for sale in a week. Stupid, I know, but we really want to move and be closer to our families so we can have help with two babes. It won't be so bad - our realtor is my husband's good friend from high school, so he's cool and understanding of our situation(s). And once the house is straightened up, we'll just have to maintain a certain level of cleanliness.

That cleanliness is what I'm working toward this week. Specifically, I am working on packing up all my crafting stuff (sniff) and sorting out the 3 or 4 projects I want to keep out for the summer. The rest will be socked away in bins...accessible if need be, but out of sight. So far I have 3 sundresses for Daughter, quilt fabric for baby #2, the work project I'm trying to finish, and the sweater I'm making for my girlfriend's new son. Well, also Secret Garden but that's so close to being done I don't count it.

This is a rather painful process and I'd best get back to it. At least it's an indoor project - my allergies are still too bad to go outside anyway. I'll be back later or tomorrow with something more interesting...

**warning - spoiler ahead!**

Well sports fans, the news is good today! The baby is looking great and...

...it's another girl! Woo-hoo! Though I would certainly have been thrilled with a boy, having a second baby of the same gender is going to be a lot easier on me. We can re-use everything - especially all the gorgeous handknits. And I can make more pink and purple stuff! Now the only problem is a name. Daughter has her name because it was the one and only girl name Hub and I could agree on. I don't know how we're going to do it again.

The doctor we saw today is a neonatologist and an expert in the field. He is like a really neat grandpa and I loved him instantly. He said he can say with 99% certainty that we have a perfect baby and he also was able to explain my bleeding problem to me in terms that I can totally understand. For anyone interested:

Apparently what I had is called a subchorionic bleed. I can't find anything good to link to for that, but from what the doctor said it's a bleed that happens between the amniotic sac and the uterine wall. During my sono today he showed me where you could see a lacy looking area, indicating an "old bleed" that is now clotting. Unfortunately he had no real explanation for why it happens. It appears to be a small area where perhaps the placenta has not completely attached. In my case, there is no evidence of placental abruption or tear, so no harm should come to me or the babe. He said I will just experience bleeding and spotting until the blood is gone, which could take weeks or months or whatever. There's no way to tell. Yuck. The good news is that bed rest is unnecessary, and I can maintain my daily routine (oh good, I can cook and clean). I am also allowed to lift and hold and cuddle Daughter, which is all I really care about.

Tomorrow, endocrinologist. Once again, stay tuned.

(Also maybe some knitting content...)

dream a little dream

This morning:

Me: Oh man, I had this awful dream that the dog peed and pooped all over the house!

Hub: That's an anxiety dream if I ever heard one.

I have an 18-week sonogram tomorrow (I think this will be like, number 5 or 6?), and then an endocrinologist appointment on Thursday. I'll probably be told that I have to have surgery post haste, so all that stuff is very likely what's making me anxious. On the bright side, we just might be able to get some gender info tomorrow. Our daughter was a little prude in utero and kept her legs crossed every time we had a sono, so we didn't know for sure that she was a girl until the night before she was born (a long story I might tell another time). So I guess I shouldn't get too excited as that may happen again.

Stay tuned.

Sowing my Secret Garden

We're nearing the finish line...Secret Garden shall soon become an F.O.

Houston, we have a sweater. Well, almost.


Closeup of the pattern. The color is more accurate in the first photo.


Look, I even made sleeves! What can I say? I spoil my kid.

Depending on final fit, this may be my favorite knit so far for Daughter. I'm not wild about the color I chose (Knitpicks Wool of the Andes in Fern), but the yarn itself is incredibly soft and nice to work with. I haven't had any problems with pilling or splitting on this project, and the whole sweater is costing something like $12. Can't beat that for handmade and 100% wool! It's almost dry, so hopefully I'll be seaming it this weekend and starting on the button bands and collar. That's my least favorite step in the process, so it'll be a challenge to avoid casting on for my next project instead (an adorable cabled cardigan in Patons Classic Merino for my friend's 3rd son, due in less than a month - yikes!)...which brings up a question. Am I being a rotten friend by making a baby sweater (toddler, actually, as I'm planning to make the 24 month size so the kid can wear it more than once) in 100% wool? It will require hand washing, and I'm wondering if that's a mean thing to do to a parent. Does anyone have experience with machine washing PCM in cold water on gentle? It felts like mad, so I doubt even a cold wash is a good idea. Thoughts?

Socks!

A package came in the mail today:

what could it be?


maybe we should try shaking it


here Mom, check these out...I'm very involved in the Food Network right now


oh my gosh! delicious Koigu socks!


look at the beautiful cables!

I don't mean to have a bad attitude or anything, but a small part of me was sure I'd get stiffed on this Sockapaloooza thing. I was really just hoping I'd get a pair, and this pair? Unbelievable! They were knit by Anita of Knits, Purls, and Curls in between homework assignments. And people, they are Koigu. I immediately put these on and my feet said, "aaaahhhhhhhhh..."

I love them! Thank you, Anita!

I'll most definitely be signing up for Sockapalooza 4.

Sad

When Daughter was born one year and two weeks ago, her sugar level was something like 35, and it should have been more like 100. They had to keep testing her and working to get that number up, so among other things this meant she had her heels pricked about eleventy billion times over the course of the 2.5 days following her birth. When I saw her teeny purple and red and blue bruised and battered heels I cried. I thought it was the saddest thing ever.

Wrong.

Watching her have blood drawn from her little teeny arm today while she sobbed was, in fact, the saddest thing ever.

76 and sunny

Well, here's a news flash! I read the Claritin box at the drug store today, and it does not say anything about not taking it because of thyroid problems! I will be asking my OB about it forthwith. Sure, it costs almost a buck per pill, but it would be worth it. I hate to take any pills at all, but I'm scared I'm going to get addicted to nose spray and either scratch my eyes out or give myself pink eye. I have only suffered from springtime allergies in adulthood (started toward the end of college when they would mow the lawns outside our dorm at like 6:30 a.m.), and this is my worst year ever. Does pregnancy exacerbate the problem? Anyone? Bueller?

Daughter and I ran all over creation today doing errands. My sockapaloooza socks are winging their way to California right now. And if I owe you a package, it has been mailed. I'm all caught up. Hooray! It's so great to feel normal and healthy and be able to do stuff.

I should push on and start my flower and herb seeds so I'll actually have something to put in the front landscaping. I should also plow through the rather large pile of bills and paperwork that I think is growing roots on the kitchen counter. But, ummmm...I think I'm going to eat some ice cream and watch Oprah. Teri Hatcher is on today, and what's up with her face? Botox? Face lift? And what does she weigh, like 80 lbs.? She just looks weird.

death by pollen

People, I can't breathe.

No, this isn't a metaphor or anything. I literally cannot breathe. My sinuses seem to be permanently swollen. I feel like there are sandbags in my head. I fear that I will harm myself soon as I cannot stop rubbing and scratching at my eyes. They're red and swollen (well, the eyelids anyway), and I look like I belong in a scary, scary movie. My whole face itches. My throat even itches. On the inside. Gaaaahhh.

Can you die from allergies? Because I may be the next casualty.

eta: I would SO take a pill, except that I have thyroid disease too. If you check your allergy med boxes, they all say "do not take if you have thyroid disease..." Waaaaahhh! So it's nose spray and eye drops (which don't do anything)...oh, and ice cream for the itchy throat. Luckily the baby likes ice cream.

More than you wanted to know about my boring Saturday

You know those days when you just have to get out of your flippin' house, and even though you love your family desperately you just have to get away? Yeah, that was today. It was close to 70 degrees and the sun was blazing. I pondered taking Daughter to the beach (not that our Lake Erie beaches are too snazzy or anything, we're mostly talking about a strip of gravel at the water's edge), but eh, I didn't really feel like it.

So, since I've been feeling better pregnancy-wise, I decided to head out on my own. I wanted to wander around a craft shop, so I did. I got two jar candles at A.C. Moore ($3 each and they're almost as good as Yankee in my opinion) as well as some very pretty blue Patons Classic Merino to make a baby gift (my girlfriend is having her 3rd son in June). I got enough for a sweater and possibly a hat, per her request, and I was going to do a blanket as well. We'll see, because in addition I have to whip up something for my husband's co-worker, whose wife is also set to deliver in June. Does anyone know of a pretty baby blanket pattern (to knit) that's done in one piece, but is complex? I can't do a whole blanket of one repeated stitch...too boring. I need something with cables or different motifs or something.

Then I decided to mosey on to the grocery store. I haven't done the shopping in a month, and though my husband is pretty good at it, he always comes home without a few of the things on my list. Like the chewy Chips Ahoy cookies I've been asking for. Well, we've got 'em now.

I also got the cutest thing in the produce department. It's called a Salad Bouquet, and it comes in a plastic wrap like a floral bouquet, except it's various lettuces. They're organic, grown locally in greenhouses (in Ithaca, NY for those familiar with the area), and come with the root clumps still attached to the little bunches of greens. And they were only $1.99! I'm a sucker for clever packaging and display, so I had to get one. And it's delicious. I would have taken a photo but thought my husband would find that rather strange.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go inhale some cappucino chip ice cream. The baby wants some.

Lolo!

So my kid is obsessed with Elmo. When we watch Sesame she is marginally interested until that dorky Elmo's World music starts. Then her head whips around, she points to the screen and squeals, "Lolo!" I am a little disappointed as Elmo is my least favorite Sesame character, and I would be much happier if she loved, say, Grover or Ernie or Big Bird. However, I do love hearing her screech "Lolo!" every morning. It's totally adorable and I'll be a little sad when she starts pronouncing it correctly.

So I went to my OB appointment today and everything is looking good. We've had no bleeding to speak of since Tuesday and the babe's growth continues apace. I've gained 10 lbs. and my belly has suddenly "popped," though I don't know that it's obvious to the casual observer yet. The wee one's heart rate is 150, which is good, mine is 70, which is very good, and my blood pressure is normal. This is all great news because it means my medicine is controlling that aspect of the hyperthyroidism (heart racing/palpitations). I'm kind of hoping my next round of bloodwork will show that the medication is working wonderfully and I don't need to have surgery right now after all, but that's probably a pipe dream.

Thank you all for your continued thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. We appreciate it so much!

Breathing Right

I'm here today to tell you that Breathe Right strips WORK, peeps. Between my regular spring allergies and the pregnancy boogies, I've been having a rough time sleeping through the night. So I splurged (ten bucks for a box of 30 at Tarzhay). And I had an awesome night of sleep. It kind of hurts a little to rip the strip off in the morning (kind of like those pore strips we all used a few years back, remember those?), but it is totally worth it. I offered one to my husband to help with his snoring (which he vehemently denies), but he said "no thanks, breathe right strips are NOT sexy" ...as if snoring is.

So I guess I'm not sexy, but at least now I can get oxygen to my brain all night long.

A buncha stuff

I am happy to say that the snow stopped before any could accumulate yesterday. And today temps are supposed to return to a somewhat seasonal 60-ish. It's not often we get snow quite this late in the season, and I think that's the last of it. This morning the sun is shining for all its worth and the rabbits and squirrels and birds are romping around outside...it's like that Disney movie, you know, the one they don't show anymore because it's racist. The one with Zippety-doo-dah. Song of the South? Is that what it's called? I know I saw it once when I was a little kid. Anyway, the point is that it's a beautiful day! Zippety-doo-dah!

It's also a beautiful day because...24 hours have passed with no bleeding. People, this feels like a miracle. Please, oh please, let it be over.

And, the babe has announced his or her presence to me via somersaults or something. I thought I felt movement a couple of days ago, but told myself it was too soon to tell, it must be gas, etc. But last night I was sitting here quietly and felt that unmistakable burble of baby kickage. Hallelujah. This baby can beat me up all it wants, as long as it's ok in there.

My only real 'problem' now (which is not really so much a problem) is that I have just about outgrown all my regular pants, but my maternity clothes still fall down. I'm not sure if I should order a bella band or just make do for now. Last time I took a wide piece of elastic (like 1") and cut a buttonhole in one end and sewed a button to the other. That's how I fastened my pants during the in-between. I'm not sure it's worth the $25 for the band. Plus, my nose is really stuffy and my knees hurt. Wah wah boo hoo.

Mmmmm-kay, enough baby talk. I also have to report on my sockapaloooza socks - this is a crafty blog after all. Here they are in all their finished glory:


still life with socks and unshaved legs


first sock...some weird pooling


second sock...more weird pooling

Now I just have to get a Buffalo postcard and some fun stuff to put in the package, and these can wing their way across the country. Oh, and they will be washed and blocked first! I'm just hoping these will fit my sock pal...she wears the same shoe size I do, so I made them to fit my feet. You know, I was just thinking that I don't even know where to get a postcard featuring my fair city. I've never bought one before because I live here...huh. Maybe a bookstore?

Here's a tangent about that - we don't have any bookstores here. No, I'm serious! The area where we live is rather "blue collar," if you will. We're really close to all the old steel mills and this has always been a very working-class area (except for the gorgeous lake front mansions where all the steel barons lived). We have lots of other stuff, but not one single Barnes & Noble, Borders, etc. I guess the bookstore companies believe people who work in factories don't read books. I'm not even sure there's a Waldenbooks in the mall or anything. It's depressing! I'll have to go to the ritzy "white collar" suburb where our parents live to hit a bookstore. SAD!! Luckily my OB is out there so I'll be in the area on Friday. I'll have to stop in to the B&N to seek postcards.

End tangent. Hope you're all having as beautiful a day as we are!

You have got to be kidding me

People, I am looking out my family room window right now, and the stuff coming out of the sky is NOT rain.

It is, in fact, SNOW.

I'm sorry Mother Nature, did you not get the memo? It's April 25. APRIL.

A word of thanks and a cry for (knitting) help

Many of you have left me very encouraging comments and/or sent thoughtful emails over the past 2 weeks. I want you to know I hang on every word and firmly believe your thoughts, prayers, and positive energy are helping me to heal. The weekend was very good - the pregnancy is feeling more "normal" and I think the only funkiness I feel is a braxton-hicks contraction now and again (I had them quite often with #1). At the risk of heading into too-much-information land, I'll say that the bleeding has slowed to a tiny bit of spotting over the last 2 days (holy moly do I feel like I'm jinxing myself by saying that). We go to the doctor on Friday. Please keep praying! Every day I wake up and thank God I'm still pregnant. That probably sounds weird, but it's what my brain is doing to cope.

I also want to say that I am trying hard to stay positive. In that vein I've been saying "NO" to google (as per Ruth's instructions!) and not looking up "bleeding during pregnancy." Dudes, THAT is a depressing search. I prefer to stick to the stories people tell me of very successful pregnancies that resulted in fat happy babies despite bleeding and other problems. Google-ing the problem only led to me weeping pitifully at midnight as I read sad, sad stories. Not a good idea.

Anyway, it's funny, but I feel in my heart that the baby is going to be ok. Maybe this is just a problem I'm going to have on and off throughout the pregnancy, or maybe the baby and I will grow out of it (my doctor says this is often what happens). But I have had one healthy, perfect baby, and we are at almost 16 weeks now. The risks are reduced with each passing day...which I suppose is why I do the thanking God thing when I wake up every day. I guess I just refuse to give up and get all depressed because I can't fathom not having another healthy baby. So. I pray and try to be positive.

End Pregnancy Talk/Begin Knitting Talk

I have a burning knitting question for those of you who have made Secret Garden (Alice Starmore, The Childrens' Collection), or who at least have the book.

Ok. I am making the 2-3 year size. I have just completed chart C, one time through. But I am confused by the next set of directions. It appears that you are supposed to repeat chart C for all sizes (confusing because you only repeat the other charts for the two larger sizes). BUT, you are instructed to work row 1 and eliminate the decreases. Does that mean you also eliminate the yarn-overs to compensate? Then it says to continue as set, completing chart C. Do you eliminate the decreases and YOs for the rest of the chart?

If you do that I think it throws the pattern off. You end up without the little "holes" in the design. But if you do the YOs without the decreases, you end up with too many stitches. Right?

Because then when you do chart D, the stitch count you want to end up with only happens if you skip the increases and decreases in chart C the second time you do it.

That probably doesn't make any sense. It's hard to explain. Am I just dumb? Is there something I'm missing in the directions? I can't find anything about this on the web, so I'm assuming it's me. If my explanation made any sense to you, please help!

**Edited to add: Thanks to the talented and patient Kathleen of WIP Insanity (she has lots of WIPS! It's insane! Whee!) I have the answer to my Secret Garden chart questions. As it turns out, I don't think it's a matter of me being dumb. Once the concept was explained to me, I realized it's just my pregnancy and stress-addled brain that was preventing me from properly analyzing the charts and instructions.

Food Network

I'm big into the Food Network. And now that I'm basically housebound and my butt is growing roots in the couch, I've been watching it more than ever.

If you're like me (ok, except for the housebound thing) and you love watching Food Network but also occasionally find yourself hurling snarky comments at the cooks or picking your jaw up off the floor after Paula Deen puts yet another stick of butter into a recipe, check out Armchair Cook.

I promise you'll just about pee your pants laughing.

Stuff

There has been knitting:


Sockapaloooza sock #2 just needs a toe!


Still plugging away on Secret Garden for Daughter (no major rush - it is for fall). I don't think I'm in danger of becoming a photo stylist anytime soon. Don't you love my creative use of the sugar bowl to hold the sweater down while I stretch out the pattern? Tres professional.

There has been ickiness:
I ask for your continued thoughts and prayers as I am still experiencing cramps and bleeding. At our last visit to the doctor (last Tuesday) the baby looked fine, but of course I've been reading stuff on the internet that scares the bejeebers out of me...so I'm not yet convinced that everything will be fine. I am trying to pray, rest, pray some more, and have faith that there is a plan. Right now the only thing that seems to relieve the pain/pressure/bleeding is lying flat on my back. Which is not too swell since I have to somehow care for my 1 year old. My mom has been a trooper, driving the 45 minutes each way to care for us, but I'm on my own today and hoping to stay flat out as much as possible. Luckily Daughter is good at entertaining herself by playing on the family room floor.

One

One day old


One year old

Happy Birthday, my love.

Happy Easter

I want to thank you all once again for your supportive comments this week. Things continue to improve.

May you have a blessed, joyful Easter!

Improvement

I am so bored.

But bedrest is good for one thing - my sockapaloooza socks are almost done. I will have pictures soon (when I am allowed to stand up for more than bathroom trips).

Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers. There has definitely been improvement in my condition over the last two days. Hopefully this was a one-time fluke occurrence and everything will be boring and normal from here on out. Except for the thyroid surgery thing. Yeesh.

I credit my healing in large part to the Miraculous Medal given to my mother by her good friend (with instructions to pass it on to me). The medal has been blessed; I have worn it for the last couple of days and prayed a lot. Yesterday I changed my clothes and forgot to grab the medal out of my pants pocket, and I immediately felt worse and bled again. Today I pinned the medal to my PJs in the morning, my clothes after I got dressed, and now my PJs again, and I have felt great all day. There has been no actual bleeding since I got up this morning. I will wear this medal for the duration of the pregnancy. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be even better, and though I will continue to rest over the weekend, I could maybe return to light activity on Monday.

I miss holding my baby and can't wait to scoop her up and snuggle her again.

Complication

Thank you, Ann-Marie, for claiming the cross stitch kit. It's on its way to you as soon as I have your address.

I may or may not be around much this week. We spent last night at the ER due to some serious bleeding and cramping, and I am on bed rest until there is no more bleeding at all. The baby is ok, and there are professionals monitoring the situation, though no one seems to know what is causing the problem. My first pregnancy was completely uneventful (except for morning sickness) so this has come as a major shock.

Quite frankly, I'm frightened.

If you are the praying type, I sure could use some right about now.

Free to a good home

Hey cross stitchers! I know you're out there!

I have here a Bucilla kit for a family tree counted cross stitch. Its official name is "Through the Years." The finished piece of stitching measures 16" X 18", and is on 14 count white aida cloth. I began this project about 7 years ago (I think I intended it for my parents' 25th anniversary), but I wasn't enjoying it so it got shoved in a bin and put away. All I did was a bit of the greenery and the two hearts in the center of the design. The aida cloth is taped around all edges with masking tape.

The kit includes the aida cloth (with a little stitching already done), cotton floss wound on bobbins, silk ribbon, gold metallic thread, pearlescent blending filament and full color chart. There might even be a needle stuck in there somewhere...I'll have to check. I will also throw in the sterlite bin with handle that it's been living in for the last 7 years. All you have to supply is an embroidery hoop. And possibly a needle if there isn't one in there.

This kit has been kept in a non-smoking, clean home and is in great shape. It just needs someone to actually finish stitching it. Plus, it's free, people. I'll even pay shipping in the continental US. Please take it off my hands so I can have more room in my craft cabinet. If you're interested please email me: momwhoknits AT yahoo DOT com. I'll need your name and mailing address, which I promise to delete the instant I finish addressing the package. Believe me, I don't want to stalk you.


sorry for the cruddy picture. what can I tell you? free is free, peeps.


see? fambly tree! Obviously, your family name goes in the middle.


all this...for free!

Disclaimer: If you decide you want this and I send it to you (free, remember), you can't send it back if you decide you don't like it after all. I don't want it so it's up to you to figure out what to do with it! Pass it on, sell it on ebay, chuck it...whatever. The same goes for if you discover I frigged up any of the stitching. I don't want to hear about it! Ok? Cool. Now please, please take it away. :)

New and Improved: Now with Actual Photos!

The sun is shining! I took some pictures! And thank goodness 'cause this blog was getting a little boring to look at.


Sockapaloooza sock hangin' with some bunnies. It's coming along, and I'm much happier with this version than the last attempt. I knitted all that foot part through Walk the Line last night. Have you seen it? I mostly thought it was sad and, as my husband said, "man, this guy just keeps doing uncomfortable stuff." I thought it was extremely well acted, and kudos to Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix for learning to sing and play like that, but in the end I just thought June Carter was out of her mind for agreeing to marry Johnny Cash. He was a train wreck! And I know it worked out and they did love each other desperately, but it was a long, hard, hurtful road to get there. Yikes.


It's hard to take a photo on a beautiful day. The sun is streaming in the front window and it makes the rest of the room look dark. This is my (not so much decorated) dining room, which is currently home to my sweat shop, er, sewing stuff. I'm in the middle of two (identical and therefore boring) quilts for the shop that involve nursery rhyme-type embroidery on the main squares and a fiddly border of nine-patches. I'll show more when I get more done. It's really not a cute project so I can't say I'm too enthused, but I have big car repairs to pay for, and also maternity clothes, so I do what I'm told. Side note: I own the mechanical sewing machine in the upper left but definitely not the top-of-the-line embroidery machine at the bottom right ($7000, enough said). Side note #2: I don't bother to move my funky fiesta ware candlesticks and vase when I work. Which is dumb.


Speaking of maternity clothes...I love Old Navy! Look at this rainbow of fruit flavors:


These t-shirts are awesome! Only $9 each and they're nice and long so they actually cover the belly. I hate some of the styles out there that barely cover you up - and I actually like maternity pants with the panel, especially around the 8th month, so I need shirts that cover me and the top of my pants. Also, normally I am a pretty boring dresser, but I try to perk it up in the summer. And since I was pregnant all winter last time, I had to get all new stuff this time - thus the rainbow of new t-shirts and pants. I got jeans (super bargain at $25 or $30 since most maternity jeans are around $50 or $60), some denim capris, and bright pink cargo pants that button up or down to make capris or not, depending on the day. Fantastic! I'm returning a denim skirt (clownishly big) and some khaki capris as I think the fabric is not nice. They remind me of nothing so much as army pants - you know, the khaki uniform? Yeah, not so cute and feminine for summer. So instead I am ordering awesome shoes! It'll be like they're free, since I'm returning two items that are worth more than the price of the shoes. Right? Oh yes.


(Image swiped shamelessly from LLBean.com)
These are Adventure Cross-Straps. I'm getting them in the color shown (yep, pale aloe...too lazy to photoshop those words out), and they are to replace my stinky old beat up Birkenstocks. Which I love and am sad to see go, but they are 'round about 5 or 6 years old now, they seriously smell when I wear them, and they look like hell to boot. So R.I.P Birks, and welcome to the summer wardrobe, Adventure shoes! I am hoping these will be easy to jam on my feet when I turn into Large Marge and I'm trying to corral Daughter as she runs off.

Speaking of stinky, I really must hit the shower whilst Daughter is napping. Have a great weekend, all!

Random stuff

It's so dark, gray and wet here today it looks like a fall evening, not a spring morning. I have recently come to terms with the fact that my moods are almost 100% caused by the weather and so today will be a slow, low-energy day. Yesterday was gorgeous and sunny, and Daughter & I ran errands. Then she took her afternoon nap and I was so productive! I got sewing projects cut out and ready to go, and I made two new throw pillows for my sofa. I even knitted a bit on my sockapaloooza socks before bed. I hope I have turned the first-to-second trimester corner and my energy will be coming back. I mean, yesterday I didn't sit down on the couch in a stupor even once...a miracle! Usually 2 pm rolls around and all I want to do is go to sleep.

So anyway, no photos because it's too dark, but soon you will see the fruits of my labor. I hope to get some more done this afternoon. Well, if I ever get moving, as it's already 11 am, Daughter will be waking up in about 20 minutes, I haven't showered, and the breakfast dishes are congealing on the table. The mornings just evaporate around here.

In exciting child news, we have a tooth! The first bottom tooth officially cut through on the 31st and its mate is on the way soon. Thankfully this has not caused any night-waking and/or obvious misery for any of us (so far). It's such a cute, tiny little tooth. I am so proud.

However, in questionable child news, I have discovered that my baby has no balance. I mean it, we stand her up and she just falls right over. We prop her against her little FP noisemaking, button-pushing table and she can sort of stand there for a few seconds but then - if we don't hold her or hover close enough to catch her - kaboom. She's down. And even when she is sitting, she flops over backwards much of the time. (To clarify, she is perfectly capable of sitting up for like, an hour...she just always ends up flopping down eventually, like when she gets tired.) We still have to put a pillow behind her to protect her head. Is this at all normal for a kid who's almost 1? I'll be checking it out with the pediatrician at her 1-year checkup. I mean, what can you do for balance? I don't know.

In financial child news, I discovered yesterday that Luvs (my favorite diapers) actually become cheaper than generic diapers if you buy a big enough box. We were shopping at BJs (like Sam's or Costco for those who don't know) with our free 60 day trial membership (yay free stuff!) and I compared diaper prices for like, 15 minutes. I'm sure the other shoppers thought I was crazy. But it's true, the 174 pack of Luvs cost less per diaper than the store brand. Shazam! I love a deal. And now we have enough diapers for the apocalypse. It makes me feel so secure to know we won't run out for a long, long time. I'm a dork.

Thanks for your thoughts and stories involving surgery and pregnancy, girls. I do appreciate it and would love to hear all the success stories you have about this issue! I'm nervous about it, and will have to do horrible stuff like "get my affairs in order" and probably sign a form saying that if something happens to my unborn child it isn't the hospital's or doctor's fault, but still I feel pretty ok. I think there are much worse situations that people have gone through.

Oh crap. Kid's awake in her crib - I have to take the world's fastest shower while she's still happy playing in there!

Some stuff about my pregnancy (or, More than you probably wanted to know)

Great thoughts on the baby/sleep issue, ladies. Thank you for your input - indeed, we are all different and our babes are all different, and some of us have had events take place that changed our original intentions. I just think it's important for women in general to support each other in their decisions (breastfeed or not, co-sleep or not, etc.) and not cut each other down. Though I would personally not allow my daughter to sleep in our bed, I don't disrespect anyone who can't imagine leaving a baby in a crib in another room. We are all different and our ideas are all correct for our own families.

Anyway. I am super tired, and frankly I'm getting tired of being tired. I go to bed around 10 and get up around 8, and that's a good amount of sleep...so why do I feel like a limp rag all day? My husband keeps accusing me of being in a bad mood, but I swear I'm not. I just don't have the energy to talk much by the time he gets home at night. Bleh. Just. No. Energy.

We had a sonogram yesterday at the hospital, where they have super kick-ass equipment. It is simply astonishing to see so much detail on the screen at 13 weeks. The baby weighs about 2 oz and is only a couple of inches long, and yet EVERYTHING is there. We saw all the bones we needed to see - perfect little hands and feet, long straight legs, beautifully round skull, nasal bone (often missing in babies with chromosomal abnormalities), jaw full of teeth, spine, ribcage...and the little arms were waving and the legs were crossing and uncrossing. It is too early to tell the sex (we should hopefully be able to see that at our 18 week sono) but that's ok - this sono was primarily to determine whether or not the baby's growth and development are on track. They are, thank goodness, and the babe even measured up bigger than expected. Our due date has moved up one day (Oct. 10 now).

Why is this such good news? Well, besides the obvious (we all want our babes to be on-track and perfect!), I am extremely, severely hyperthyroid. The phrase my doctor used is "out-of-control." This started up right after Daughter was born (we think, though perhaps before her birth as she was slightly underweight and it would explain a lot), and I lost massive weight (40 pounds). I ended up about 20 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight (and I was not overweight to begin with or anything) by the time Daughter was 3 months old, which I couldn't believe was due to breastfeeding alone. So then I developed a very s-e-x-y goiter (just a swelling in the thyroid gland) which no one has really noticed till I point it out, but I think it's pretty obvious because I've been so thin.

Anyway, my thyroid has been producing about twice the amount of hormone it should, so I was put on medication in January to block the production of any more hormone. This medicine can pass through breastmilk, so we were a little paranoid about Daughter, but it doesn't seem to have affected her at all. Then, whoops, I got pregnant again when I really should not have been able to, but - pay attention ladies! - thyroid disorders affect all your hormones and that includes your reproductive system. So, whoops, I ovulated out of sync with my normal cycle and ta-da! So. We are very happy to be having a second baby...we always wanted another one and we don't ever want this child to think he or she was "unplanned." This was always the plan...just not quite so soon. Ideally, we would have taken care of this thyroid situation first, and then had another baby. But we are choosing to believe that God wanted us to have this baby now for some reason (perhaps later we would not be able to or something), so we are now dealing with some issues. The medication I am taking is definitely not considered ideal for a developing fetus. It can cause low birth weight and premature delivery. It can also (quite rarely) cause a goiter to develop in the baby. Scary! So my endocrinologist wants me to have surgery in the next 4-6 weeks to remove my thyroid entirely, which would mean general anesthesia, which scares the crap out of me.

Thus the sonogram yesterday. We needed to see if the medication and/or my condition in general is having any effect on the babe as of right now, and the answer appears to be no. Hallelujah. If the medicine is controlling my thyroid sufficiently (and it's really not) we could ride out the pregnancy and the baby will probably be born just fine. However, the safer option is actually to have the operation. According to the awesome specialist I spoke with yesterday, the anesthesia does make the baby sleepy, but as long as the blood flow is maintained and my body temperature stays up, there is almost zero risk. But it still scares the crap out of me.

So that is probably why I'm tired and not exactly bubbly and cheerful. It's really stressful feeling like you have no control over your body, and knowing you should not really have gotten pregnant right now, and praying all the time that things will work out fine. Exhausting, I tell you.

And that is also why you haven't seen much creativity happening here lately. I'm plodding along on my sockapaloooza socks, and staring longingly at the fabric and patterns I intend to use for sundresses for Daughter, and sort of ignoring the paid project I have to do; my brain and body are too wiped out to do much. It's times like this I wish I had a cook. And a maid.

catching zzzzzzzzzz's

Jeeeeeeezzzz...did you all read Dooce the last few days? And the comments? Holy crow. I have nothing crafty to show as the last several days have been all about MD appointments and broken car stuff, so maybe I'll talk about my daughter and sleep.

There are almost 500 comments as of right now (1:30 pm, Monday) on Heather's post about how they got their daughter to sleep through the night and how the process pushed her over the edge to the psych hospital admission...many of you have read back and know about that, I assume. I refuse to leave a comment and get into the fray of nastiness that's been going on since about comment #400. If you don't have anything better to do, go read some of the comments - but take several deep, cleansing breaths first because it'll probably rile you up.

I don't know how to make a baby sleep more or better. I breastfed Daughter from birth on-demand, I think, though I don't have the definitions of BF methods memorized. She was underweight at birth so I did have to be sure she was fed approximately every 2-2.5 hours during the day (yessiree, all we did was breastfeed in those days), but the doctor said I could let her sleep as long as possible at night. Here is what I did in the pm:

Daughter stayed up with us till about 10 each night, at which time I would change her diaper, wrap her up tightly, and lay her in the crib. She would generally sleep from 2.5 - 4 hours right off the bat, but would then wake for a change & feed. The poor kid had horrible reflux for the first couple months, so I'd feed her and then have to keep her body upright for at least 20 minutes. Usually during this time we'd fall asleep on the couch together and sleep for another 3 hours or so. When I woke up I'd carefully lay her back in the crib. Sometimes she'd sleep a few more hours, but usually she'd wake up within 1 hour for another feeding. At that time she would nap 3X each day, usually for 2-3 hours each time.

By 8 weeks she started lengthening the time she'd stay in the crib initially - I made it a point to ALWAYS start out by laying her in the crib so she would learn that was where she would sleep. As she gained weight she'd go longer during the night till we finally got to one middle-of-the-night feeding. Sometimes she'd wake up and cry a little bit, and we'd lay in bed holding our breath...but she managed to get herself back to sleep most of the time. One of us always crept in to check, though, as we were terrified of sids. We never had to let her "cry it out" or anything, which I guess was lucky, though Hub and I agreed if it came to that, we'd start between 3 and 4 months of age and no sooner (even the books we read advocated waiting until that point).

We'll see how it goes with the second one, but it seems that maintaining consistency with Daughter (always starting in the crib, keeping the lights off during night feedings, speaking quietly if at all, making diaper changes quick and uneventful, holding her till she fell back to sleep) helped a lot. There were a few nights when she cried a bit when put down, but by 10 weeks she could pretty much be put down awake and she'd go to sleep on her own, sleeping for about 8 hours, then 10, and now anywhere from 10-12. She still takes 2 naps per day.

The thing is, it's so irritating to a new mom when all people want to know is, "does she sleep?" Man, I swear. It's the RARE baby that sleeps anywhere near through the night from birth. By the time Daughter was 7 or 8 weeks, people - including, surprisingly, my own mother - were recommending books and methods to get Daughter to sleep more during the night. The thing was, I had accepted the fact that she would sleep through the night when she was ready, and I could only help her learn by doing the things mentioned above. Now, here is a disclaimer: I was not going back to work outside my home, so I didn't feel the push to get her to sleep through right away. Obviously, I needed and craved and desired more sleep for myself, but I leapt out of bed at Daughter's cries, and would have continued to do so for a longer time if I'd had to.

I will say that I would not continue to do this beyond 10-12 months, when weaning would take place. A baby of that age does not need to be fed during the night and is looking for comfort and attention. I'd certainly be trying to teach the child to comfort him/herself at that point. Mama does need her sleep and will be more effective at doing her job if she gets it. Also, it's just healthier for a child to have a night of uninterrupted sleep. However, this is MY point of view only (which is why I'm babbling about it here as opposed to in someone else's comments), and I feel terrible for the moms out there who are struggling with sleep issues right now. I don't know what advice to give so I cannot and will not give any. This is just a post about my experience with one child (and I'm sure I will be screwed when the second one comes as s/he will probably wake up 50 times each night and want to breastfeed till college).

But I am curious. Comment, if you wish, about what worked for you and your children. It's an interesting issue as every baby is different and every family is different.

reason number twelve bazillion why my mom is cool

the Lorna's Laces I talked about yesterday


a better shot of the colors - gorgeous!

Thanks, Mom!!