Friday, June 11, 2010

random stuff

Whoa, new templates and stuff on blogger! I can't decide if I like it or not. I'm kind of a simple girl, and the blog looks kind of busy to me now. We'll give it a try and see what happens.

So, what's up? Not much I guess. We started speech therapy for AJ. So far I mostly find it aggravating, what with a new person coming into my house at 9:00 two days a week, meaning a mad scramble to clean and prepare. Plus I'm just not sure about the therapist herself...she's highly disorganized and actually forgot to come one day last week, which irritated the hell out of me. Anyone out there have thoughts about speech therapy? What it should look and sound like? I mean, I have no idea if she is "helping" at all here. I have a feeling my son will talk when he talks and that's it...not sure if this weird woman coming here and playing with him two days a week will actually have an impact.

Other than that nothing seems to be going on. Life feels boring and I'm not sure what to do about it. I need to do something other than serve meals, do dishes and laundry, and let the kids veg out in front of the television. Today at least we hit the beach...

Unfortunately beaches on the Niagara River aren't too great. I had to keep reminding the kids to please not step on the dead fish parts. Yuck.

Anyway. I've been really into the farm blogs lately. Do you read farm blogs? Holy moly, I just lose myself in them! I know farm life is incredibly difficult and my wussy self would probably fall over and die on a farm, but there's something about it that I envy so much. It looks like such a pure, practical, good life. A day's work is grueling and if you don't get the work done it totally impacts your livelihood, but it looks like such a worthwhile way to spend your time. At the end of the day you've done something. I like doing something. I like work that matters. What bums me out is feeling like I trudge along day after day doing stupid busywork. Seems to me it sounds much more productive to say "I planted 200 lbs of potatoes today" than to say "I emptied the dishwasher for the thousandth time, did 3 loads of laundry, and went to Target."

Over at farmama, Sara just told about ripping out their lawn to plant grain. And I got really excited when I read that! Sometimes I feel a bit constrained by my cushy suburban life...I feel resentful that I'm supposed to make sure my lawn looks as manicured as possible (even if it means spraying toxic chemicals where my kids play). I would get a much bigger kick out of ripping out half the backyard to plant fruit bushes and trees, and a real garden (not just the 5x8 space I have now that holds a few tomatoes and some zucchini). Sara at farmama also often talks about just wandering the farm each afternoon to select their family's dinner. Envy!

I don't know what it is. I just feel itchyscratchy like I'm supposed to be doing something with myself and I'm just not. The kids are bored too, I can feel it. It's getting harder and harder to get Daughter off the couch, and that just shouldn't be. None of us are as perky and bright as we should be...and if we're not living right, and living well, it's on me as the person driving this train. I have to do better. Just not sure what that means.