Thursday, December 01, 2005

On Being a Mom

There is knitting content today, but it's at the end.


Today I feel selfish and nasty, and I don't care who knows it.

Yesterday the dog barfed in the dining room and peed in the family room on a quilt I made (it was on the floor so Daughter would have a place to play). So I
vacuumed and bisselled the family room carpet since the dog peed a gallon right through the quilt. Yes, we take her outside. I don't know what's up with this pee situation.

Daughter was whiny and inconsolable and did not take a good nap in the afternoon. Consequently she was miserable at bedtime and did not go to sleep until 10 pm.

I made a nice dinner that no one appreciated, I emptied the dishwasher, refilled the dishwasher, and washed the rest of the dishes that do not go in the dishwasher.

I watered the dying plant that lives in Daughter's room.

I febreezed the couches that smell like dog.

I took the dog out because if I did not she would do all of her peeing in the house, instead of just

This morning I have a hard, hot, painful lump that may or may not indicate a breast infection (could just be a blocked duct that Daughter is not emptying when she nurses, either way it sucks!)

Daughter is not in a good mood, probably due to her crappy night of sleep.

I am starving for breakfast (how did it get to be 11 am??) but no one is going to make me anything to eat.

I am supposed to be at my mother's house for lunch at noon and an afternoon of knitting and I just don't see that happening. Because my in-laws are coming for dinner tonight, which just means a
whole 'nother round of work. For me. And I am still in my pajamas, unshowered and yucky.

I don't understand it. I am not a bad wife, bad housekeeper, bad mother...yet some days I feel like a failure in all of these roles. My house is a mess. Why is my house a mess?? I am always cleaning it! I am always running after the people and animal, picking up after them. The dust bunnies congregate in the corners, the laundry is freaking multiplying, and pieces of my house are actually falling off, people. FALLING OFF.

So I feel mean and selfish and crabby and I just wish sometimes that someone would take care of me for a change. Boo. Thpppppppttt!


Here are the Knitpicks Dancing socks I'm working on for a Christmas gift. I'm getting a little worried about the quantity of yarn I have left. For some reason I knit faster and faster when I am running out of yarn. I might make it, we'll see. If not, an emergency Knitpicks order will be placed.


Teresa said...

hon, I have a seven month old that I am still breastfeeding, and I can tell you, that we all feel that way. You are definatly doing better than me, though, because you left out feeling guilty for putting the baby in front of a baby video, so that I can actually do the housework in the FIRST place.

Jenn said...

I'm sorry you're having a crappy day - I feel like that most days and I don't even have a little one that demands my attention all of the time - only after school! In all honesty, I firmly believe that the only people who ALWAYS have a clean house are those with housekeepers and my MIL.