sometimes she knows just what to do

I find myself thanking God for Daughter about ten thousand times a day. Here are a couple reasons why:


One of these things is not like the other...one of these things just doesn't belong...
Do you see it?


Let's see...Beaker, coupla' Eeyores, dolly, blanket...wait. What's that?


Yep, that's the 2 skeins of sock yarn I blogged about the other day. Daughter has been hauling them around all afternoon, and I guess she thought they might like to rest in the crib with her stuffies. Cracked me up when I found them.


Also, I don't know if you're all aware of this, but oven mitts are on ALL the runways this fall. This is the stained floral version from that most famous house of fashion, Tar-zhay, being modeled by my wee child. She found this and wore it around all yesterday afternoon. I laughed and laughed. And took photos to embarrass her when she is older.

We went to the beach this morning with some friends. They are charter members of the Early Risers Club, and we are so not, but we still managed to meet them at about 9:00. The cool thing about a beach at 9:00 am on a not-so-warm day? NOBODY THERE. I have never seen a completely deserted beach in my life. It was pretty awesome. Very peaceful.

So those are the little joys in my life today. Unfortunately Hub and Daughter seem to have colds right now, so I spent a lot of today chasing my poor kid around with a tissue. This is her first cold, believe it or not. Over 16 months with no illness! And it's going to pour rain all weekend and only be 60 degrees...since they're both sick it sounds like excellent family bonding/sleeping in/napping/crafting time to me. I think I'll spend tomorrow in my pajamas.

Gotta run - since none of you showed up with any casseroles this week* I have to make some dinner.

*haha, no, I didn't really expect anyone to bring me a casserole.

if you're going through hell, keep going

I love you ladies. I mean it. You are wise and wonderful, and your comments push, pull, and drag me through my days. Would any of you consider moving to the Western New York area? How about just a visit? I will make tea! I have coffee cake! Come on. I could use a real live shoulder. And bring a casserole or something, would you please? I haven't felt up to cooking much lately.

Here is an interesting thing - it is simply astounding how much you can accomplish when you live in fear of being bored. I make a big to-do list and I actually do it. It's really the only way to keep myself sane. I must have busy hands. Even going places or visiting people is a sub-par method because when I drive I can't do anything else, and no matter how loud I crank the radio it doesn't drown out the movie playing in my head. So...

Floors? Mopped.
Bathtub? Scrubbed.
Laundry? Done.
Ironing? Yes, even the ironing is done.

I have lots of thank-you notes to write to all the people who have done kind things for us over the past couple of weeks, but I can't do more than one or two at a time. It makes me cry. So I've been blowing that off in favor of creative endeavors. I have been on a huge finishing kick. Somehow my grief has created in me a need to get stuff done that's been sitting around. I want to flush out the project pipeline and start fresh. To wit:


The donations I made for the Dulaan project. In February. I have finally woven in all the ends on the 4 hats and 4 pairs of mittens, and they are going in the mail this week. I'm rather ashamed to say I missed the deadline for this winter, but hopefully they will be put to use next year.


Sundress and bloomers for Daughter. These were stitched up sometime in early July, I think, but were just waiting for hand finishing on the shoulder straps and bloomer legs. This is now done and has even been worn. It's the last of the summer sewing projects for this year.


Cotton blend socks I started in...are you ready? 2003, I think. I don't like knitting with cotton (I think it's Sockotta or something like that) so these got shoved in a bag and left to languish for several years. One was done, one was started. Now they are both done and off my list.


Boring brown socks. Knitpicks Essential yarn, in the fawn colorway (I think...I really need to start saving my yarn labels and putting them in my project bags). These were started in the winter but as you can see they are BORING. So they got shoved aside for more interesting projects. Again, one was done. I whizzed through the second last week. Done and done. In the drawer for when I need plain old tan socks. Bleh.


Yes. Baby dress. This was, of course, intended for baby Beth. It's blocked and I will sew it up today or tomorrow. I have dainty purple buttons for the back. It will be washed and carefully packed away for "someday," whether that is the next couple of years for me, or 25-30 years when Daughter has her own children. Either way, it will be completed with all my love and in memory of my sweet girl.


Flannel pants for Daughter, cut and ready to sew. I bought enough of the pink for 2 pairs - they were going to be little matchy-matchy outfits. If anyone wants 5/8 yard of it, email me or leave a comment. It's washed and pressed and you can have it.

And finally, something bright and reminiscent of the fall leaves which are already starting to fall off my trees:

This is some Knitpicks Sock Garden in the zinnia colorway. This photo does not come close to doing it justice - the colors positively scream at you in real life. I got this for my birthday (back in January) and want to do something with it before the next birthday rolls around. Plus I think the bright colors might cheer me. I am thinking footie socks for me and nice warm socks for Daughter. There should be plenty of yarn for both pairs.

I have also completed a quilted wallhanging (sewed a hanging sleeve on it, cut the dowel and hung the silly thing after it sat folded in a closet for 3 years), a baby sweater that you cannot see yet because it's a surprise, and most of my Kinsale sweater which I blogged about finishing a billion years ago. One more pattern repeat on the second sleeve, a few seams, and a good wash 'n block to go, and I will be modeling it for you. Also, I fully intend to finish Beth's baby quilt. We have her handprints and footprints on a card, which I am thinking of scanning and incorporating into the quilt label. The quilt will be hung either in Daughter's room or perhaps somewhere more prominent so we can see it every day and think of her.

Well, I hope that was a more interesting and non-depressing post. I want you to know how much I appreciate those of you who continue to check in and leave me such kind words. I am not kidding when I say I rely on your comments to get me through the day - I go back and read them over and over. I don't want to throw around the word 'depression' because that is a serious disease and I don't wish to offend anyone who legitimately suffers from it...and I don't think I am actually depressed (though I am monitoring myself, and my family is monitoring me as well, for signs of PPD). I think I am merely suffering from extreme sadness. But I do have ups and downs, manic days and very 'down' days (can you guess what today is? my goodness...), and the blog will probably reflect that. It's going to be a roller coaster around here for quite some time, I imagine. Thanks for bearing with me.

attempting to share some feelings

Hi.

This is my 200th post. I wish it were more exciting and celebration-like.

I'm really, really sad. And tired. And tired of being sad. It has been 2 weeks now, which amazes me. Where have the days gone? I know I get up every day and I know I function for the sake of my family, but I'm not 100% 'there' at all.

I know that when I weep it is for myself and my husband and all our family members who will not get to spend a lifetime with our baby. I know that she is in heaven and never suffered, never will suffer, and has beautiful, perfect, eternal life. I know that we will see her again when it is our time. And I am endlessly grateful that the decision was made for us...we did not have to stand over a NICU bassinet and watch our baby struggle for life, or make any horrible decisions about life support.

But oh, how I long to have her here with us. How I wish I could cradle her soft body in my arms, and feel her tiny heart flutter. I dream of her newborn smell, and the feel of her soft fuzzy head against my cheek. When I found out I was pregnant again we knew our lives were about to change pretty radically. So we immediately started making plans. This sweet baby was already so loved, and we wanted her so badly. I had so many thoughts and ideas and plans. Now our lives have changed again, and our plans have suddenly changed as well.

And I don't like it. I don't want it to be true. I hate that this has now become part of the story of my life. I don't know how to be this woman. I don't even know how to write about it. It is such a deeply personal thing and words just fail me.

I know that what happened to me and my family is right, because it is God's plan. It isn't for us to understand. But I don't have to like it.

paranoia takes over...so here's a picture of the city

*Edited version*



Mom dragged us out of the house to take a harbor tour since it was a totally beautiful day. Here's a shot of lovely Buffalo. Note city hall is wrapped in scaffolding and netting. I guess it's getting new mortar or something.

By the way, in the last week Daughter has totally learned to walk. It has proved to be both excellent entertainment and pretty good distraction from sad thoughts. I can honestly say that Daughter is the glue holding my fragile self together these days, and I thank God for her every morning as I lay in bed listening to her yell "UP!"

Also, the doctor called and so far all test results have been negative for any abnormalities with my pregnancy. Very frustrating indeed.

another day

We went to church this morning and there was a baby being baptized and a newborn right behind me and oh dear Lord in Heaven give me strength to get through this.

hanging in there

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for all the kind, loving, prayerful comments.

We laid our sweet Beth to rest yesterday. It was so beautiful, and yet so sad. We are struggling to find peace.

I will be back. I'm not sure if that will be in a week or a month or what. I'm not sure what I'll even be writing about as our lives have changed so much in the past few days. I hope that some of you will keep me in mind and check back in.

For now I just want to say that if you are looking for a wonderful cause, especially if you sew or knit, I suggest contributing to your local hospital's bereavement program (they also accept monetary donations). They provide counseling, real tissues to replace the cruddy hospital ones, a handpainted memory box for the baby's things, and in our case a stunning handmade burial gown and bonnet, knitted booties, hat, and blanket. We have asked our family and friends to donate to our hospital's program in lieu of sending flowers, and as soon as I can pull it together I will be knitting up some booties and hats in the hope that they will bring some comfort to another grieving mother.

Again, thank you so much for all the wonderful thoughts and prayers.

agony

Our precious baby girl, Elizabeth Ellen, was called home to be with Jesus this morning. For reasons we do not know (and may never know), her little heart stopped beating sometime during week 31. She was born this morning at 3:30, weighed 2 lbs., 6.8 oz., and is absolutely beautiful.

Obviously we are sick with grief. You have all been so supportive over the last 7 months, and once again I ask for your prayers as we struggle to understand God's plan for our family.

it gave me a terrible backache, but it's so worth it

As the weather has been, in my opinion, absolutely perfect for the last few days, stuff has actually been accomplished around here. No, the house is not clean! Don't be silly! I was talking about sewing and knitting!

The bambina's quilt (top):


I was going for a sweet, vintage look. Like something you might see in a room with a white wicker or iron bed and distressed furniture. I think it's finished (other than the quilting and binding of course) but I'm not sure. Right now it's 54" square, and I have lots of blocks left so I could tack on a couple more rows and make it a rectangle. I don't feel too moved to do that, though. I also don't think I want borders - my original plan, if you can even call it a plan, was to just take the blocks to the edges and bind it, which you see on many antique quilts (probably because they had only scraps left to make quilt tops and not enough of any one fabric for a border). Besides, this is pretty busy and I don't even know what I would use for a border.

Another angle, just for kicks:


Now it's on to my least favorite part of quilting - the actual quilting itself. Bleh. I am lucky to have a very good sewing machine with a very good walking foot, so that helps, but I really dislike the pinning and the marking and the shoving of the quilt through the machine bed and all that. My reward at the end is the binding - that I love. I know, I'm so weird. I just like the hand-finishing process. It gives the project such nice closure.

Here is a happy thing: all of the fabrics (except the muslin) are stash fabrics, so this quilt did not cost much to make at all. Hooray! Here's to using stuff up! I bought 200-count muslin* at Joann for background at $2.99/yard, but of course I used my coupon, so I think I spent a whopping 5 bucks or something. Awe. Some. And I have mucho batting stored up from my days of working at a quilt shop, so no cost there either. Sometimes I amaze myself with the thriftiness.

With days of 70s (and low, low humidity) and nights of 50s, knitting is back ON. I don't have photos for you today - gotta leave something for tomorrow - but I've been cooking along on some projects. Stay tuned.

*If you're going to use muslin, buy the 200-count. Don't bother with the cheap stuff, it is loosely woven and WILL fall apart. Ask me how I know this. Trust me and splurge - spend the extra $1 per yard!

so excited i might pee my pants

Or maybe that is the baby elbowing me in the bladder every 5 minutes.

But anyway, I am super excited! Look what my blogging/sewing/crafting/pregnancy friend sent to me:



Super duper vintage knitting and crocheting patterns for baby! I am not kidding when I tell you I ripped the package open on the porch - couldn't even make it through the front door first - and then I jumped up and down when I saw how awesome these booklets are (ah, maybe the jumping explains the urge to pee?). These books are exactly what I scour flea markets for, and I love that one of them says "Mabel" on the front, presumably in Mabel's handwriting, and is copyright 1942. The most expensive one says "29 cents". Glorious! I adore these patterns and can't wait to sit down with some tea and my yarn stash...

People, let me tell you that the power of the internet is amazing sometimes. This lift was just what I needed this week to keep me going. This person lives over 2,000 miles away from me and chances are good we'll never even meet in person (sad!) but she has touched me just the same. Thank you so much, Karen. I'm so lucky to "know" you!

tis the season

I'm sorry, yesterday was just a supremely bad day here in the Buff. I woke up tired and spent the whole day feeling like I was slogging through mud. To top it off, Daughter knocked over a full glass of iced tea in the family room and proceeded to splash around in it, and when Hub got up to help me clean it/distract the child, he stepped on her full sippy cup of milk, popping the top off. So there were two beverage messes to clean out of the carpet. Mmmmmmm. Whole milk. In the carpet. HOT weather. Deeeeeeeeeeelicious.

(I know, it's my own stupid fault for leaving drinks where they could be spilled. I said it was a bad day.)

So, this morning I decided my bathroom smells like a summer camp due to the dampness that permeates everything...the rugs and stuff just won't dry in this weather. Every bathroom textile has now been washed and I am waiting on the dryer so I can re-hang the shower curtain and get cleaned up. In the meantime, I thought I'd share my little sickness with you.

This might really wig some of you out, and if you're a nature-loving environmentalist, just don't look. However, I am willing to bet some of you might be right there with me (ok, maybe not as bad).

You see, this is the time of year when all the back-to-school sales start. Around here kids don't go back to school until the Wednesday after Labor Day, but the stores are ready NOW. There are all those nifty displays at Target and the Mart, made out of cardboard and filled to bursting with PENS! and MARKERS! and PRETTY, PRETTY SCHOOL SUPPLIES!

And I have a sickness. It has been a full 4+ years since I was enrolled in any kind of school, and almost that long since I taught, but I still get twitchy when the ads start rolling out showing all the latest and greatest stuff. So even though I've been getting much better about it, I still have to go peruse the displays and every year I buy something. In recent years I've managed to restrict myself to one or two spiral notebooks for 10 cents each (legitimate use for those - I have to make my lists and keep track of stuff somewhere), and once in awhile a pack of pens or something.

But in the past...


mmmmm...pens...pencils...


to be fair, most of these are recycled from high school and college (and many belonged to Hub)


a small forest no longer exists because of us


this is kind of over-the-top, huh? i see that Binney & Smith box and smell that waxy crayon smell and it's like a drug, baby...

Yeah, so there it is. And sadly, that's not even all we have. Some is stored in dribs and drabs all over the house. I'll never have to buy my kids anything. I've even visited the Crayola factory...as an adult. My friend and I were the only ones there without any children. And my favorite "Picture-Picture" on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was the one where they show you how crayons are made. You can see it here.

I've always been one of those nerdy kids who loved school. The start of the school year was so exciting! Getting to buy new supplies and labeling everything, cracking open a brand new notebook on the first day - it was truly like a drug for me. And that was back when a box of 24 crayons cost something like $1.99. Now you can get 8 boxes for that much money. Twitch...twitch...

Wanna come over and color? I got the stuff.

sure, I'll take some cheese with my whine

Bleeeeeeeehhhhh.

The baby is coming in 10 weeks, give or take. Sometimes that feels like 10 minutes and sometimes 10 years. When it's really hot and sticky and the heartburn kicks in, it's more like 10 years.

I can't sleep at night because I have a burning, searing pain in my left hip. I did not have this problem with my first pregnancy, so whassup? It sucks. I keep rolling to my back but then I wake up feeling all weird because I have this giant weight pressing on important stuff. Yes, I've tried piling pillows everywhere, and I do sleep with a pillow between my knees. Nothing helps.

I have gained 30 pounds. That is already more than I gained over my entire first pregnancy, and as I mentioned, there are still 10 weeks to go. It's ok, I was quite underweight to begin with this time, but I stand at the mirror just trying to figure out where it is, exactly. I mean, the baby weighs about 3 pounds right now, and I figure we're talking around 2 more pounds for amniotic fluid, placenta, etc. So where are the other 25 pounds??? I guess my butt must be getting bigger too, I just can't tell because I live with it every day.

Along those lines, my husband thinks I'm seriously HAWT right now. And I say, oh God honey, really? Now? Right now? Because I couldn't be less in the mood.

I'm tired and I don't feel like doing anything. So I'm going to park in front of the a/c and read while Daughter does anything but sleep in her crib. Bleh.

look what i got for 5 bucks!

I mentioned a few weeks back that our local Hancock Fabrics is closing its doors. Though I didn't shop there much (it is quite far from my house) I am sad to see it go because we are now left with Joann Fabrics and only Joann Fabrics, unless you count the high-end quilt shops and people, we all know I'm just too poor to be buying $9/yd fabrics. So last night I was driving home from my mom's house with Daughter and we heard on the radio that interstate 90 was basically a parking lot due to accidents in both directions...hmmm...what to do, what to do. Should we sit on the thruway and waste gas? Or should we detour to Hancock Fabrics and see if there's anything left for cheap?

Duh.

So look what I got for only 5 bucks:



I KNOW, isn't it AWESOME?!? That's 15 cards of buttons and 3 spools of thread for five measly dollars! The threads were like, 35 cents or something, and the buttons were 85% off. 85 percent off!!! I think I need to go back this weekend and raid the racks some more. I tried to get basic baby/kid buttons that I can use on the gifts I make (as well as the stuff I knit for my own kids). If you're my friend and you have a baby, chances are you'll be getting a little cardigan sweater and hat or something like that, handmade by moi...and usually I'm frustrated because a) I can never find cute buttons I like and b) they always end up costing more than the stupid yarn. So, I am stockpiling. Luckily I have a mental rolodex of my yarn stash so I can pick buttons that more or less match what I already have. What a dork, huh?

Even after the tremendous finds of yesterday I was kind of in a foul mood all day today, so when Daughter finally collapsed for her nap, I pounded out 32 more blocks for the baby's quilt. (Side note, the poor kid really needs a name...and also a blog name. Can't keep calling her "the baby" forever...)



So there are 40 9-patch blocks finished, and I have a few more strips ready to sew into sets. I had to quit after these, though, because of the sweat running down my back and also between the, uh, bazoombas. However, it did much to elevate my mood, just sitting and methodically feeding these through the machine. I should maybe mention that the strips I started with were 2.5" wide (and about 18"-20" long depending on the scrap...some were fat quarters). They were sewn with a 1/4" seam allowance. After that they were pressed toward the print fabric, sliced the other way (also at 2.5") and then sewn into blocks. If you're interested in starting to quilt, this is the easiest block in the universe to start with.

I think I may take the leftovers and use them for this:



I lurrrrrrve vintage and vintage-looking stuff, and this would be so cute hanging in the girls' room (yes, they will be sharing because we are poor and our house is totally small). I super-duper love quilts made with purdy fabrics and plain old muslin, and though I don't care much for the weird blue border on this, I could change that really easily. The idea is that I love the blocks.

I also love this one for some reason:



But definitely not in those colors...red, white and navy don't appear anywhere in my home. I just find this pattern very visually striking and would like to make it someday. Like in 2010 when I have free time again and no one is hanging off me looking for snacks, entertainment or a diaper change.

Not that I mind. I love my kid...how could I not? I mean, look at her:

progress on all fronts

Ok! So, I really hope you enjoy this post because it took me over 1/2 hour to upload the 5 stinking photos. I have read lots of rantings about Blogger being difficult when it comes to the photo uploads and I always thought, "what are they talking about? I never have this problem!" Well, today that bit me in the butt.

Anyway! On to the craftiness. I haven't gotten too much done because it gets really really warm in the dining room where I sew, and also I can't sit in a regular straight-back chair too much these days. I've at least managed to get several strip sets sewn for the new babe's quilt (this is just a few of them):



These are then cross-cut into 2.5" segments:



Then the segments are sewn into 9-patch blocks, with a finished size of 6.5" (in the quilt they will end up at 6"):



Hmmm...I could maybe press them.

Most of these blocks are not yet sewn up, but here's the idea of how I will lay out the quilt:



It's going to be way scrappy, which I hope will end up looking quaint and sweet rather than dorky and mismatched. We'll see when the blocks are all sewn and the final layout is done. I'm thinking the back will be made up of the remaining large chunks of fabric I used in the blocks, for a truly scrap-tastic feel. Also, then I won't have to buy a big piece of backing fabric. As it is I'll have too many blocks and may end up having to make matching pillowcases or something. I'm antsy to use up these fabrics as I'm sick of seeing them in my stash. They're stale or something. Bleh. I want to be able to buy some new stuff with less guilt, too (when I rob a bank or win the lottery or whatever).

And on the knitting front:



This is the sweater I'd started last week and goofed up. The photo is a little crappy because my camera is a little crappy, but you can sort of get the idea of the shell pattern, right? The tricksy thing about the pattern is in the setup rows before you make the actual shell stitches - you start out with 253 stitches and it balloons up to something like 457. If you miss one yarn-over the whole row has to come out until you figure out where the mistake is...ask me how I know this. It is slow going and I can only get about 1 pattern repeat done per night. But I think it's really pretty and I'm in it for the process anyway, so it's worth it.

I'm working on a couple other knitted items as well, which are intended as baby gifts. I was going to blog about that - my thoughts on who (whom?) to gift with handmade items. But this post has taken up half my day already so I'll hold that thought.

In other news, I took Daughter for her 15-month checkup today. The doctor says she is perfect (which we knew already, har) and actually somewhat advanced for her age in language skills. That doesn't surprise me because she's home with me all day and we just read book after book and talk a lot. She tries to repeat most things we say...guess we'd better watch our mouths. I was praying she'd be 20 lbs so I can turn her carseat around finally, but no, she is 19 lbs, 8 oz. So it's a few more weeks of hefting her in and out backwards. She has no complaints about facing backwards, it's just my discomfort at cramming her in and out with my large frontage in the way. She is, however, 32.5 inches tall, which is almost off the chart - she is the height of the average 2 year old. Tall and skinny. But she is doing all the age-appropriate things and developing nicely, so we feel quite blessed.

I'm blowing some quality naptime here...time to go lay down for a bit.

Harrumph

Hmph. I had this post all set in my head but decided to upload the photos first...you know, just in case...lo and behold, Blogger is being poopy and won't take any of them. Glad I didn't get a big ol' post all written up first. Maybe later.

go

I was going to blather on about some junk today, but instead I'll direct you to Notes from the Trenches. Grab a few kleenex first, you'll need them.

i'll tumble 4 ya'

You know it's bound to happen, but when your precious baby falls and puts her tooth through her lip, it still sucks. You really feel like an awesome mom, let me tell you. Well, I'm sure many of you already know the feeling. See, Daughter has this talking toy vacuum that hurls insults at me ("this place is a pigsty!"), which she likes to push around. Today, while my mom was here of course, she decided it was time to let go of furniture and just stand with the vacuum for support. While she was trying to navigate around an end table, she pitched forward and somehow banged her face on something. There was blood and crying, etc., etc. She seems fine now, and it turns out the cut is confined to the inside of her upper lip, but it was rough when it happened. Poor kid.

***

On the knitting front, I started a sweater for the new baby last night. But I messed up somewhere along the line because I am one stitch short.



292 stitches in fingering weight yarn on size 3 needles. The problem is, it's supposed to be 293 stitches. Somehow I frigged up the YOs on the first increase row of the pattern, which serves me right - I should have been in bed instead of trying to start a baby sweater while watching stupid TV. Like I need to hear Jay Leno's tired old jokes. Oy. So anyhoo, I'll be ripping that out and starting fresh tonight. I borrowed The Magdalene Sisters from the library the other day and I'm hoping to watch it this evening.

I'm also in decision mode about an upcoming project. There is a baby boy who is due to make an appearance later this year (sometime around Thanksgiving, I think). He will be born in a chilly place and therefore, I believe, needs a warm sweater and hat for the winter. And possibly some adorable little flannel pants to go with. I'm just sayin'.

I went stash diving today and here are possibilities I came up with for a boy:



In the sport weight category, clockwise from upper right:
Lion Brand Baby Soft in navy
Lion Brand Baby Soft in pale blue
Bernat So Soft (? not sure because the label was mangled when I got it) in baby denim marl (light blue and white twist)
Lion Brand Wool Ease Sport in natural heather
Lion Brand Wool Ease Sport in fisherman (off-white)



And in the worsted category:
Lion Brand Wool Ease in denim twist
Patons Classic Wool in denim and also in dark grey mix (it's a tad heathery)

I am quite amazed that I have this much yarn in "boy" colors. Not that I wouldn't use most of them for a girl, because I totally would, I'm just surprised at what I have. Also, I'm not averse to going out and buying another skein or two and mixing some colors (I think the grey would look really sharp with a contrasting color like deep red).

The project in question will most likely be a cardigan, if only because it's just so much easier to get a baby into and out of a cardigan than a pullover. And though I am fond of baby items in soft, lightweight yarns, I might have to go with worsted in the interests of time (hi! less than 12 weeks until my own wee one arrives!) and energy. And brain power, because I'm convinced something is eating my brain or it's been running out of my ears at night. We're talking barely functional here, people. It's not pretty.

Anyway, I love the Patons colors, but I'm again faced with the dilemma of whether or not it's polite to knit a baby gift out of 100% wool. Which is not so much machine washable, unless you want to turn the item into a felted potholder.

I guess I'll also be going through the ol' button tin to see what goes with what. I happen to believe (and I think the mommy-to-be agrees with this) that the buttons are very important to the garment. So I'll be working through that this weekend, I suppose.

***

Sewing? None. Too damn hot. Hopefully this weekend, though, as the high is only 73 tomorrow, and rain is predicted. Glorious!

***

And finally, you guys rock with the hot weather dinner ideas. My main thing is I refuse to light the oven because my old house traps the heat like nobody's business. But I will light a burner in the interests of feeding my family. Thanks for the suggestions!

hot 'n stuff

Not sure if I've mentioned this or not, but it's like, really hot here.

Today the squirt and I went to the library to cool off and exchange our books, only to find that the air conditioner there was broken. Gross! Sticky! By the time we checked out I could barely even form words. The lady behind the counter was all, "can I help you?" And I was all, "huh?"

My kid has been taking the world's crappiest naps because it's so dang hot in her bedroom. I don't know what to do about this.

Last night she was so crabby by dinnertime (see lack of sleep issue above) that we threw down some quick eats and hit the beach. It was easily 10 degrees cooler with the wind blowing off the water, and she thought squooshing her toes in the wet gloopy sand was awesome. Also, she squealed every time the tide washed over her toes. I wish I could bottle that and keep it forever.

It's time to start thinking about dinner. What do you gals make for dinner when it's eighty-bazillion degrees outside and you don't have central air? Has to be kid-friendly and somewhat healthy. I'm struggling here.

a little bit of everything

Did you watch the shuttle land this morning? Truly a cool sight. It's so scary until it actually comes to a stop on the runway.

In other current events, it's still flipping hot. I know it's hot almost everywhere in the US right now, but I'm still complaining. Just when I thought my hair couldn't be any bigger...poof!

We watched movies all weekend because it was too sticky to do anything else. Here are my reviews:

Syriana - I thought it was really boring. Much like another Clooney movie I didn't enjoy, Solaris, I kept asking my husband what the story actually was. Like, is there a plot here? I like to be mostly entertained when I watch a movie, and this one was a little too documentary-like for me. Not that I mind educational movies, I just didn't like this one. I was so bored I went to bed with 1/2 hour to go. My husband claims it made sense in the end but meh, whatever. I didn't need to see George Clooney all fat and getting his fingernails pulled out. Gross.

Failure to Launch - I didn't want to watch this one because I don't like anyone who was in it, really. But it surprised me with excellent dialogue. Very witty and funny, if somewhat (ok, totally) predictable. My husband liked it too, so it's not necessarily a chick flick or anything. Nice and fluffy for summer viewing.

Benchwarmers - freaking HILARIOUS. I laughed my butt off. The combination of David Spade, Jon Heder, and Rob Schneider was totally priceless here. I like Rob Schneider playing it straight for a change, and even though this was a lowbrow, screwball comedy, it had a totally feel-good message and was extremely entertaining. Maybe it's just because it was so hot my brain was melting, but man, did I enjoy this movie.

Other than that, we didn't do much over the weekend. On Sunday morning Daughter and I zipped out to Joann Fabrics to check out the big coupon sale. I thought there would be more people there but I guess they were all hiding from the heat. We went early, before the mercury hit 90, and got some great stuff. The thing is I always end up with extra coupons because they put everything on sale, so you don't actually need the coupons. Anyway, we went with the intent of picking out winter fabrics to make little flannel pants and corduroys, but of course here is what happened instead:



The only "winter" fabric we got is the pink flannel on the left. The rest is cotton or cotton/poly for next summer's wardrobe. I think I got enough (around 1.5 yards of each) to sew for both girls. No matter, it was so cheap (like $2.39/yard!) I will do what I can with it. I used my notions coupons to get matching limey green and yellow thread, which my darling child proceeded to chew on in her stroller where I couldn't see what she was doing. Eew. Many apologies to the cashier ensued.

The afternoons and evenings have been spent camped out in front of the air conditioner (isn't that the case for most of us?), working on the baby dress. Our little AC unit is just powerful enough to allow me to knit. I finished all of the actual knitting (read: the fun part) last night:



Of course, it is not yet blocked, nor are the eleventy-billion ends woven in. So please don't mind the curling hems and stuff - that will all be fixed.

This is a better preview of what it will look like when finished:



Cute, huh? It looks so small right now (the pattern says it's 6-month size) and it's hard to believe it will actually be too big for several months.

What to make next? I have started the baby's quilt (8 blocks, whoopee) but it's too hot to sit in the dining room and sew right now. The wee one will need a small bunting/snowsuit as we didn't have (or need) one for Daughter - the smallest we have is 6-9 months. So I guess I'll be breaking out the wool and some patterns and swatching for that.

Now, what's a pregnant woman to do with a whiny 15 month old on a 90 degree day? I'm open to suggestions...

hot

Oh my goodness. People, it is so hot. We are even under some special weather advisory for the next few days because of the hotness.

So I can't do anything. Today I went outside for 20 minutes and hacked away at the forsythia from hell until half of it was on the ground, and I feel like I ran a marathon. I have 2 blisters, a pile of shrubbery on the driveway, and sweat stains on my shirt to show for it. Bleh. I've decided to be a total sloth for the next 2 days. Hub better mow the lawn tonight because he surely won't be able to for the rest of the weekend.

I need a glass of water.

fun with the fetus

Midnight is baby play time. It's like "Alien." You know what I'm talking about.

I think tonight she is doing a "welcome to the 3rd trimester" dance. Oy vey.

Anniversary

Happy 3rd Anniversary to my darling Hubby. Who does not read this blog. Who does not even know this blog exists, actually. But I want to publicly acknowledge the man who puts up with my crazies, loves and supports me, and has given me 1.66 beautiful children.

I can't say that every day has been perfect wedded bliss, but it has definitely been more good than bad. Here's to many more years of laughter and love.

random stuff

Yep, my in-laws are annoying, blah blah. Yesterday they called Hub at work to wish him a happy birthday and said sorry they missed "our little party." And it turns out my mil's tests weren't even yesterday, they were today. As in, Tuesday. As in, not yesterday. I am trying to just let this go, because I don't want a contentious relationship with my in-laws. But even Hub is mad. Especially since she told him today that the tests weren't that bad after all and then they went shopping and ordered new furniture. Whee.

So pardon me for thinking they're jerks.

In happier news, the sun is out and it's beautiful and warm. Daughter and I went for a ride to drop off my paid projects (finally) and to visit with some friends. It was so good to get out and be social. Sometimes I go an awfully long time speaking to no one but my husband, mother, and child. Stunts the brain a bit.

Here are a couple more projects I finished for Daughter over the weekend:



Some shorts and another little dress with bloomers. There's another pair of shorts but I'm not risking waking her from her nap to go get them and take a picture. You'll have to take my word for it that they're cute and blue. The little purple dress pictured needs (hand) finishing work that I'm not real enthused about. Oh well, I'll get to it. I have a pile of stuff that falls into that category right now and one of these days I'll just thread up a needle and go.

I also cut a bunch o' strips so I can start the new babe's quilt:



Or from this angle, if you prefer:



That's all for today though, 'cause it kills my back to lean and cut on my dining room table. One of these Christmases or birthdays I will get a cutting table of the appropriate height. Hopefully tomorrow I can cut the muslin and start piecing the strips together. I don't know though - it's supposed to rain and when it's really gray and dark out I can't seem to get my butt in gear. I tend to just go back to bed when Daughter takes her naps and I don't even shower till late afternoon. So I'm hoping for sunshine. It makes me much more productive.

sigh

I'm kind of down today.

It's my dad's birthday, which is neato. That's not the downer part.

Tomorrow is Hub's 30th birthday. A few days ago we decided we'd have his parents, bro, and bro's girlfriend over for a little cookout type of thing, with hot dogs, burgers, salads, etc., and an ice cream cake (Hub's favorite which we always have for his bday). So I went to the supermarket on Friday and got all kinds of grillable meats and whatnot, fresh rolls, blah blah blah, and we invited everyone for tonight (Sunday).

Hub's mom was all weird and listless on the phone when we called but said they would be here. Apparently she has to have some kind of female-parts test done tomorrow and she's nervous about it. I can't describe what hypochondriacs my in-laws are, or how many events they have ruined with their crying wolf and histrionics. So when Hub said his mom wasn't feeling well the other night, I jokingly said, "watch, they won't even come on Sunday."

This morning I got up and dragged my huge pregnant self around the house for hours, scrubbing and mopping and vacuuming and dusting. I finally got in the shower at 3 pm so I could be presentable and also so I could run out and pick up the ice cream cake. When I got out of the shower Hub asked, "so what's your dad doing today?" And I said I didn't know, I should really call him. Then Hub suggested maybe we should go see him for his birthday. I asked what he was talking about...people were coming to our house in 3 hours..............

You can see where this is going, can't you?

Yep, while I was in the shower the in-laws called and said they weren't coming. And since Daughter was safely tucked away for a nap, I let loose some 4-letter words. My mother-in-law couldn't manage to come to her son's 30th birthday party, wear a smile for an hour, eat some cake, and go home. Because she has to have some sort of test done tomorrow. Her doctor doesn't even think there's anything actually wrong with her, it's just a simple test. So I worked all day to make a nice birthday party for my husband, and it was a waste of time. We called his bro and told him not to bother coming over, since we'll have to make up the party at a later time anyway.

Sigh.

At least the house is clean. And tomorrow, Daughter and I will go to the ice cream place that makes the really good cakes and get one, because darn it, it's still his birthday and we love him. And he should have a cake.

Stay tuned for the final items of Daughter's summer wardrobe tomorrow...I sewed like a maniac on Saturday night before packing up all my stuff for the party we were supposed to have...

somebody stop me...

Help me...I can't stop making cute outfits...

So I was wrong! The shorts I made the other day are totally fixable! Thank goodness when I pitched them I only put them into the little garbage bag I keep next to my sewing table. Turns out the seam I frigged up was the side seam, not the (reinforced with double stitching) crotch seam. I merely had to spend an irritating half hour with the seam ripper, picking out the 4 incorrect seams.

The problem is, I have no visualization skills. I cannot - can not - visualize how pants and/or shorts come together. So I have to really take my time and think carefully about what gets pinned where and how the seams should be sewn. Last night I took another crack at it and sat studying the pattern diagrams and the cut pieces for a loooooooooong time, trying to understand where I went wrong the day before. And it finally clicked. I know I sound so moronic, but I really struggle with this! I'm glad I did it though, because I rescued those other two pairs and now Daughter's summer wardrobe will be complete. I didn't finish re-stitching them yet (no time, no time) but I got this outfit done:



The color is much richer in real life. My camera sucks.

Pattern: It's so easy it's Simplicity #4142 (size A, 1/2-4)
Size: 1/2
Fabric: Calico from Joann Fabrics big wall o' stuff

This pattern is awesome. And cheapy-cheap at Walmarteroonie. I think the whole thing, from cutting to sewing to finishing, took about 2 hours. I broke out the serger for this one, so I didn't have to turn any hems twice, and it made things so very quick. My serger is really old and clunky, and only works when it wants to, so it's been banished to a trunk in the family room for ages, but today I guess it was in the mood to help me. Anyway, Daughter will wear this outfit for her Daddy's birthday party tomorrow. Sweet!

This is the other pair of shorts I made over last weekend:



Limey! She insisted on wearing the hat. By the way, this is what 90th percentile for height and 5th percentile for weight look like. Tall and skinny with chicken legs. It's no wonder she's only just now starting to walk.

adventures in sewing (and bad photography)

I always mean to post more regularly, but then I get sucked into the pregnancy/motherhood/housewife vortex and I just disappear for a few days. It's an odd sensation, that. Disappearing. Poof.

Anyway, I did not end up making anything patriotic for Daughter to wear on the 4th. The reasons are threefold: first, I hated all the patriotic fabric carried at our Joann Fabrics this year (and $9.99/yard? really? come on); second, my back was super owie after sewing a lot last week (mental note...must get a cutting table of correct height one of these days); third, we didn't do squat for the holiday anyway so there was no real reason she needed anything special to wear.

I did make one cutie-patootie pair of shorts for her, but they are in the wash right now. I'll take some photos and talk pattern specs another day. I started 2 more pairs yesterday only to sew the crotch seam incorrectly so those were ruined and I was VERY VERY FRUSTRATED. They went straight into the garbage as they were unsalvagable. Grrrr.

I did, however, experience some success in the sewing/knitting arena over the past week or so. Besides the one pair of wee shorts, I managed to finish the 2 quilt tops I owe the shop:



It is actually quite a sunny day but for some reason I cannot take a quality photo. Anyway, you can see there are 2 tops there, right? Tedious work making those borders, let me tell you. Freaking half-square bias triangles. Invented by sadists, I'm sure. But they are done and I am happy. Now I will spend the afternoon snipping bazillions of threads from the embroidery sections so these can be turned in tomorrow and I can GET PAID!! That's happy, because I want to buy more fabrics to go with these:



Whoa, how 'bout that segue? These are a small collection of little prints I've been, well, collecting. For many years now. There are actually more hidden away somewhere in one of my closets or cabinets, and I have to go spelunking to find them. These have been displayed in a basket lately so they were handy to photograph. I'm planning to use them (along with the bleached 200 count muslin underneath) for the new babe's quilt. I figure I ought to get going on it, considering she's due in just over 13 weeks...aaaaagh! Ok, must not think of the timeframe. Breathe. Breeeeeeeeathe.

The pattern will be a simple 9 patch, and will hopefully have an "old" look to it when I'm done. I'm not planning a border, just alternating white squares with 9 patch squares to the edges, and then a binding made of strips of each fabric used in the top. I think it will be super cute. I plan to make one block of each fabric to take shopping with me so I can pick out a few more teeny prints to coordinate. Hopefully my paycheck will arrive just in time for the hy-ooge Joann Fabrics coupon sale that starts the 16th.

And finally, we have news on the knitting front. I finished the front of the wee dress for baby #2:



My word, this is tough to photograph. For some reason the stockinette portion comes out all freaky-looking. The bodice portion is really sweet:



I don't know why it looks so washed-out in the picture. The garter ribs are a lilac color and look adorable in real life. This is such a nice, simple pattern. I've been plodding away at it while we watch movies at night because other than making sure I click my row counter, I don't have to think. Once the back is done the shoulder seams get sewn and then the sleeves are knit down from the bodice...happy, happy day! That's 2 fewer seams to sew. Rock on.

And then, of course, once that's done I have twelve billion more things in mind to make.....

100 days and counting

My little baby ticker thingy says there are 100 days to go. That sort of sounds like a lot, but it so isn't. Daughter arrived 2 weeks early, and since this wee babe seems determined to trump the first in every way, I wouldn't put it past her to show up early too. Yikes.

Dilemma

Hi everyone, it's me, begging you for help and advice again. It's just that I have not found this one in the parenting books and I don't know what exactly I should do.

Daughter is about 14.5 months old now. She has been merrily taking 2 naps each day, at approximately 10 am and 2:30 pm since forever. Usually these last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, allowing me to get a break, take a shower, eat something, clean, sew, etc. Of late she is not so much falling asleep in the afternoon. She sleeps for at least a good hour in the morning, which is cool, but then just plays and sings and talks in her crib for as long as I leave her in the pm.

Last night by 5:00 she was literally careening into furniture, crying for no reason, smacking me, throwing books and toys, and just generally being miserable. So I stuck her in her bed to rest until Hub came home, figuring we'd grill burgers and cook and then wake her to eat. She fell asleep in 2 seconds and slept soundly until at least 6:30. But then she was awake until after 10. Gaaaahhh!

So this morning I tried keeping her awake from when she got up (about 8) until after lunch. By 11:30 she was obviously tired, and by 12:30 she was unbearable. Wretched, even. She was so tired she could barely eat her lunch and much of it ended up in the dog's stomach rather than her own. So I washed her up as best I could what with all the smacking and crying she was doing, and plunked her in the crib. She's zonked now, of course, and will probably sleep for a good 3 hours.

My question for all you more experienced moms is this: when did your kids drop a nap? How did you handle this? Was there misery throughout the land, like we have here? I don't think my poor kid can survive the whole morning with zero rest, but she also can't make it from lunchtime to bedtime with no rest either. Help me, please.

in which i complain about my hair and you sort of get to see what i look like

My energy is flagging at this point in the week...sooooooooooooo tired. Plus it has been on-and-off sunny and rainy (often several times in the same day) so that's kind of draining. Thank goodness there is leftover pizza for lunch 'cause I don't think I could rustle up much more than that on my own.

So, since there is nothing to really write about (I have done only paid sewing for the past 2 days), I thought I'd complain about my hair a little. I am Italian and I have some seriously Italian hair. It's very thick, very dark - not black, but not far from it - and it's naturally quite wavy and somewhat coarse. During the summer the humidity gets it and it turns into a freaking 'fro. I cannot justify even blowing it dry, especially when it's hot 'cause that's uncomfortable enough, but also because it just curls and whirls anyway, even if I blow it straight. With product. The hair, it has a mind of its own. I don't have a current photo of it, but it's hitting pretty much between chin and shoulder length right now (depending on the amount of curl). Also, with pregnancy has come much more curliness. I totally don't get that because the hair is technically dead, right? So how can it curl more because of the hormones in my body?? Makes no sense.

Oh and plus, I haven't seen the inside of a hair salon in 11 months. Seriously. The last time I had it cut was the week before Daughter's christening last July. Hang on, I think there's a photo of that cut on my laptop somewhere...

Oh yes. Here you go:



Yes, my nose is Italian too. Shut up. And there are only 2 people in this photo, but 4 total chins. Hmmmm.

Anyway, that is how I prefer my hair to be cut. Why is it no longer cut that way? (Or cut any way at all?) Well, I lost a bet with my husband last summer. He sold a Stratocaster (sp?) to buy a gym membership right around the time this photo was taken. I totally didn't believe he had the dedication to go continuously and actually lose weight. So I said if he lost 20 lbs I'd grow my hair. I thought I was safe. Turns out he lost the stupid 20 lbs. And now I have to deal with this crazy mop o' hair on my sweaty little head.

That was a totally boring story, huh? Sorry, I'll be back with something interesting soon...

more sewing cuteness

Wow, where did the past 5 days go?

I feel like a lot has been going on, and yet I couldn't really tell you what the heck we've been doing. Friday was "stay home and scrub the filthy bathroom" day but that ended with me being stir-crazy and dragging Daughter to JoAnn Fabrics, ostensibly for some new machine needles, but really I wanted to browse. She picked out some fabric (seriously, we walk along the calico wall and she points to the ones she likes), so we got a few cuts to make some more sundresses.

Saturday we did a couple errands, and then I spent the entire evening constructing a new outfit for Daughter:


cherries jubliee!


look at the matchy-matchy cherry buttons!

Friends, I am having so much fun making these little outfits. I'm going to need a 12-step program to get over this. Once again, here is the info:

Dress pattern: New Look Kids #6578, size 1/2 but adjusted to length of the size 2
Bloomers pattern: Easy Stitch 'n Save by McCall's #M5079, size large

The cherry buttons were also from JoAnn, and I swear I think they cost almost as much as the fabric. But you have to admit it was worth it, no?

There was a question last week in the comments regarding how to determine the length of the elastic in the bloomers. Since I have the kid right here, I measured her thighs and added about 1". I also double checked against some store-bought outfits to make sure that would work. If possible, I would suggest taking a loose leg measurement, or asking the mom to measure if the baby isn't with you.

I have to run and try getting some work done. I don't think I've shared this yet, but my 14-month old child just up and decided IT IS NOW TIME TO WALK. So we spend all our waking hours cruising furniture, taking daredevil steps from table to couch to tv stand, and attempting to climb the family room steps. People, my back? It is killing me. The poor kid isn't really very stable yet so she threatens to fall all the time. I have to scootch around the floor, hovering behind her, trying to avoid the face-smashing into furniture fall, or the head bouncing off the floor fall...it is strenuous. The point is, she is now sleeping and this is my break. I was given this project for the quilt shop back in April, I am ashamed to say, and it still is not finished:


It's hard to see in this crummy photo (sorry, it is dark, dark, dark and pouring rain today), but the big squares have embroidery in them. With all the issues going on in my life over the last few months I just haven't been able to finish this paid work. But we could sure use the dough so I'm buckling down. I have to finish this and its twin, hopefully this week. Thankfully this one is almost there.

Also? It is twelve thousand percent humidity today and everything feels damp. Eew. Makes for some clammy sewing...

just my opinion...

You know what really frosts my cookies? When you go into the grocery store in summer, which is always chilled to a subarctic temperature, and you see all these babies with barely any clothes on. Damn, people, babies get cold! A lot faster than we do! And they are not walking around to generate any warmth to their extremities!

Please, put some socks on your teeny baby, and a little cotton sweater, or at least lay a light receiving blanket over the child. My daughter runs on the warm side, which she gets from Hub, but she still gets chilly in the freezing cold market. She always has socks and a little lightweight cotton shirt over her sundress.

Last summer when she was only a couple of months old, Daughter and I were shopping and an older lady stopped me to say she was happy to see socks on my baby. I thought to myself, "duh, of course she has socks on, it's freaking cold in here." I couldn't understand who wouldn't put socks on a tiny baby. Alas. Now I see.

**edit: I am talking here about teeny weeny babies...newborns especially. Babies cannot regulate their body temps until they are around 1 year old. The toddler set is another story. Today at the store my kiddo had on a sundress so her legs were bare, but she had socks and a little long sleeve knit cotton shirt over top (just for the store; the car was hot, hot, hot). Mostly I just can't deal with the newborns being exposed (in the sun too, but wow, that's another whole issue).

sew cute

On my list today are: mop kitchen floor, clean bathroom, pay bills. So as soon as Daughter went down for her morning nap I immediately pulled out my sewing machine. I'm a rebel.

Remember the little blue dress I made for Daughter a couple weeks ago? What, you don't have my blog memorized? Sheesh. Ok, here you go:

now with bloomers!

Yep, instead of doing boring old chores, I sat down and sewed up the little bloomers that go under the dress. Since it's quite a shorty little thing these are definitely necessary, or else her diaper is just hanging out. Not fond of that look. Anyway, I am so impressed at how easy these are...they only took about an hour, and now that I know what I'm doing I can probably do the next ones faster (oh yes, these are so cute & easy I want to make a bazillion).

Closeup:

so yummy I might eat them for lunch

And a little closeup of the inside of the leg casing, which I think is constructed in a very cool way:


Oh my gosh, that is a terrible photo - my apologies. I must have had the settings wrong on the camera or something. Yikes. Anyway, if you can get past the blur, check out the neato way you use bias tape to make a (hopefully) comfy little casing for the leg elastic. You use 1/2" bias tape, stitch it to the right side, turn to the wrong side, stitch that down, then insert the elastic and slip stitch closed. Brilliant! Usually I hate bias tape but this was a breeze.

The thing that actually takes the most time with these little pants is adjusting the elastic over and over to get it right. Other than that, a fast and awesome little project.

I cut out several more little dresses and bloomers before going into the hospital last week, and lo, major thunderstorms are rolling in as I type. Guess what I'm doing during afternoon naptime today?

no rest for the wicked

Oy vey. All I want to do is chill out and take a nap but do you think I can do it? Of course not. Damn type A personality.

So Daughter had a fever over the weekend. I tried in vain to take her temperature. Apparently the thermometer shot pain rays into her armpit from the way she reacted. The best I could tell was that it was around 100. Nothing too serious, I figured. We loaded her up with good old Tylenol and she slept (fitfully) through the night. The fever seemed to be gone by Sunday night so meh, whatev. Then yesterday she broke out in a nas-tay rash all over her face and torso. Swell! We 'observed' her overnight, and she slept well, but this morning it was still yucky and she was rubbing and rubbing at her forehead and eyes. It looked worse and extended all the way past her waist. So we called the doctor and made our first ever early morning dash to the office. I guess it's lucky we hadn't had to do that yet. Unfortunately that meant no time to shower and since the surgeon took the tape off my neck yesterday I have tape residue and iodine showing, to go along with my huge nasty healing scar. Sooooooooo pretty!

Anyhoo, it seems to be just a viral rash. Nothing serious. I gave her some benadryl and hopefully she'll have a nice long nap. Of course we didn't have any benadryl, so we had to stop at everyone's favorite low class mecca of consumerism, la Mart de Wal. We probably picked up 5 more viruses just walking in there.

So. Unfortunately all this resting I'm trying to do isn't resulting in much cleaning/cooking/laundry/etc. being done. I know, I know, it's not that important, let it go, blah blah blah. But hub needs clothes to wear to work and I can't let my kid crawl around on filthy floors. And we really can't afford to order takeout every night (nor is that very healthy). So work I must, and then I can do fun things like nap and...well, nap.

I'm off to fold a mountain of laundry.

surgery recap

So, here I am. Recovering fairly well considering a) my body has just been sliced into, b) pregnancy, and c) it is 90 degrees outside.

Wanna see my bandage? Ok:


pretty!

That's a big piece of surgical tape held down by many little pieces of surgical tape. And you all know what happens when you have a cut that starts to heal, right? Can you say ITCHY?!?

So it's a pretty big incision. On the left side of the photo you can see the little vampire-bite marks where the drain was after the procedure. Boy was THAT gross. Hurt coming out, I can tell you that much. Eew.

The procedure went well. The day (Weds) went sort of like this:

Woke up at 5 am dreaming of bacon and eggs. Finally fell back into crappy sleep until about 8.

Got up, fed Daughter breakfast, stared longingly at Cheerios.

Showered, dressed, etc., made sure bags were packed, bundled everyone into car, went to my mom's to drop Daughter off.

Zoomed to hospital as we were running a bit late, as is our usual M.O.

Waited.

Were finally called in so I could change into a sex-ay gown and have a fetal heart check. Amazingly, my BP was normal the whole time. Soooooooooooo hungry.

Led us to recliners to wait some more. Saw dead person covered head to toe by a sheet in one of the recliners. Very uncool and non-confidence inducing.

Finally called to go to pre-op, and told to surrender glasses to Husband. Flying blind from here on out.

Hung out in pre-op, answered questions, spoke to the surgeon, met the surgical team, got my IV.

Wheeled into operating room on time. Freezing in there. Covered in warm blankets, pillow placed under knees for support, oxygen mask placed on face. Saw anesthesiologist stick needle in IV and heard, "have a nice dream, we'll take good care of you."

Woke up. Vomited. Passed back out. Repeated for 12 hours.

So that was about it. Yes, general anesthesia makes me VERY sick. The combo of having had a breathing tube during the procedure and barfing all night really did a number on the inside of my throat. The pain was pretty rough for the first couple of days. Then the surgeon wasn't going to let me go home because my calcium levels were too low (my face and hands were tingling, which of course only happens to like 1 in 10 patients). But I begged because I just couldn't get any rest in the stupid hospital. So I got to leave with prescriptions for massive amounts of calcium and vitamin D. Which are fun to swallow! Feels great!

I think if I'd had this procedure while not pregnant it would have been a breeze because I could have had all kinds of good painkillers and whatnot. As it stands I didn't even take a Tylenol until I was already home and trying to sleep flat in my bed. Ow.

And I'm so annoyed that I can't take a shower. I mean, thank goodness for the shower massage thingy that comes down from the wall, because I can at least wash up and shampoo my hair over the side of the tub, but it's just not the same as a real shower. I'm going to beg Hub to go to the store and get me some waterproof surgical tape today so I can tape plastic over the suture line (the tape is supposed to stay on till I see the doctor on Wednesday). Then maybe I can try showering.

The baby came through great. Her heart rate did drop a bit after the anesthesia (to about 128 bpm) but it stayed in the normal range. It went right back up to the 150s though, and she has been kicking the *@&#^ out of me ever since. So I am assuming no harm was done and she will be fine and dandy at birth.

As you all know, I was so frightened in the weeks leading up to this. Again, I want to sincerely thank all of you (both commenters and lurkers) who offered prayer and support. I truly believe you all helped pull me through.

Well, I'm off to try and keep cool. I'm resting as much as possible right now, so if you don't hear a lot from me this week don't worry. I'm definitely anxious to get back to sewing and knitting for my babes, and will be doing so as soon as I feel a little more energetic. Watch this space!

home

Thank you so much for all the prayers and positive energy.

We are home, all is well. Very tired and sore. More to come...

ready

All that baloney from yesterday has blown over. My mom (saint!) has invited my mother-in-law over tomorrow afternoon for a cup of tea and a visit. Things are fine. I'm over it.

Remarkably, I'm feeling pretty calm right now. I had a regular OB checkup this afternoon and my BP was normal. The baby looks good and I'm measuring 22 cm at 23 weeks. All good. I think maybe I've gotten all the worrying out over the last month and now I just want to get this over with. Both the surgeon's office and the hospital called today to remind me to come to the hospital tomorrow. That's good 'cause I probably would have forgotten otherwise.

Well, I have about 3 hours to eat whatever I want. Better go snack! Please send the positive vibes my way tomorrow. I'll be back in a few days.

Rant

So I'm kind of mad today.

I have this interesting relationship with my husband's parents. It's not that I actively dislike them, but I can honestly say I don't trust them at all. This stems from many, many things, not the least of which being major problems with money (they have always had enough, just mismanaged it so badly they had to ask Hub for money at many points), major problems with prescription drugs (use your imagination), my father-in-law's chain smoking and diabetes issues (I don't blame him for the diabetes of course, but I do blame him for not managing it and instead eating chocolate cake and drinking pepsi), and several other things. During the first year of our marriage Hub and I spent more time worrying about/taking care of their issues than our own, and it is amazing that we survived. Here is a fun thing: they offered to give us our honeymoon, which was to be a beautiful carribbean cruise, and initially we said no, that would be too much money, but they insisted. And then two weeks before we were to leave they told us they were sorry, but something had happened with the deposit check and we wouldn't be able to go. Unless of course we wanted to put it on our credit card and they would pay us back. Mmmm-hmmm. Right. In the end they worked it out and we did go on the cruise, but it was quite a circus. When we had been married just over a year I got pregnant with Daughter, and 9 weeks after that my brother-in-law rolled my father-in-law's car 7 times and broke his neck*. Earlier that day he'd found a loaded gun under the seat of the car.

I could tell you so much more but it would be the never-ending blog entry from hell and I don't want to go there. Suffice it to say they DRIVE US NUTS. Though they have managed to get it together to some degree over the past year or so, they still haven't rebuilt our trust.

Anyway, a few months ago when I initially found out I would be having this surgery, I gently informed my mother-in-law that Daughter would be staying with my parents when the time came for me to be in the hospital. I used excuses like the fact that they have the exact same crib we have so Daughter would be familiar with it, and that I felt being with my mother would be the most like being with me. I tried to stress that I don't want Daughter to be too disrupted (which is true). She was very agreeable and said she totally understood, though she has continued to mention how happy she would be to help out ever since then.

Fast forward to last night.

My mom sends me an email informing me that my mother-in-law called her to tell her that she would be happy to come to the house (my mom's house) and stay with Daughter so my mom could come to the hospital. Apparently she was quite pushy about it and made my mom uncomfortable. This is after Hub talked to her and let her know that we would be fine and really didn't need any more help that day. Ummm, excuse me?? Since when is it ok for her to just go right over our heads and decide what she is going to do with our child?? Thankfully my mom, who is the queen of tact, held her off. I was able to get Hub in on the situation and he let her know her assistance would not be needed on Wednesday - my mom never intended to come to the hospital anyway. The whole point of having my mom watch Daughter was to reduce my stress level. If she is with my mother I know exactly what her day and night will be like.

And seriously! What the hell?!? What is with doing that without checking with us?!? She has decided that we are "trying to be strong" but we're really scared and I probably want my mom with me at the hospital. No, not really, thanks. I want my husband at the hospital, and I want to know the most precious thing in my life is in good care at home with my mom. Cripes!

Dude. It probably doesn't sound like such a big deal when you read it here. But it is a big deal to me. Especially with all the BS they've put us through in the past. Dammit. I am so frustrated. I told Hub to call her and tell her she can come over on Friday and spend the day. He can visit with her and she can play with Daughter and I can rest. Really I'd like to tell her to F-off. But I'm sure that's just the anxiety and stress talking.

*Amazingly he walked out of the hospital less than a week later...with 2 cadaver bones and a plate in his neck, a broken wrist, and a bunch of stitches in his ear where the seatbelt had almost cut it off. Yep, he was one lucky dude.