I've been struggling with the decision about whether or not to discuss pregnancy issues on the blog. I'm pretty sure - like 99.9% sure - that I am NOT in fact pregnant right now, so this is not me trying to be coy. I'm just not sure how much to say or not say. Should I just go about my life and announce it when I'm about to give birth? Should I drag you all through the sludge from conception through morning sickness and boob pain and misery on up to the big day? Does anyone besides me even care? (That is a joke, of course - I know some of you care very much, and I appreciate that.)
I guess I'm going to talk about it a little right now, because the thing bothering me today is not something my husband will really 'get.'
I have finally reached a point in my feelings about carrying another child where excitement has conquered abject terror. We've set things in motion, which for now just means I'm no longer ingesting artificial hormones at the same time every day. We've waited the required month for my cycle to 'reset' itself (I am expecting my, uh, 'monthly visitor' any day now), and dudes, I'm ready to go. Let's do this thing! Yeah! Babytime!
The problem is, if we go for it now, according to the online due date calculator I consulted, I would be having a baby on or about August 2, 2008.
The exact same day my sister has chosen for her wedding.
I realize waiting another month is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it has me feeling pretty dejected right now. If we wait until December, I would be 8 months pregnant at the wedding, which I really don't mind. But it would mean an extra month of being pregnant at the hottest time of year in Buffalo. A bit annoying. And my children will be one more month apart in age. And it would likely affect the school year calendar cutoff date. DON'T roll your eyes! These are things I think about! If anything remotely positive came out of losing our child last year, it was the opportunity to PLAN the next one. And now my plan feels foiled.
This is probably just my hormones talking.
I don't know.