Daughter 'n me

Daughter woke up from her nap today literally crying to go to the beach. It was already 4:30 so I called Hubs, told him to bring home a pizza, and threw her in the car to go spend an hour playing in the sand.

I am trying - through my exhaustion and discomfort - to savor these times with Daughter, for they are fleeting. Soon it will be so different, and I'm just now realizing our 3+ years alone together are coming to an end. We are all excited about Baby Brother, but it will be strange to have to split my attention, and strange for her to have to share me with another child.

So today we sat on our towel while the wind whipped around us, watching the windsurfers and shoveling sand into a bucket. The wind was so loud we couldn't hear ourselves think, much less talk, so it was kind of nice. We just hung out and watched the waves roll in. After awhile Daughter wanted to "cool her feet off" in the water (she calls the lake "the beach pool" which cracks me up), so we moved to the edge of the water and she played in the goopy wet sand for 45 minutes while I stood in ankle-deep frothy lake water. It's not glamorous, people, but it's free.

The beach is one of the only places where Daughter will completely amuse herself for long periods of time, so I let her play as long as she wanted to. I've been such a crappy mom lately, tired all the time and with no energy to do anything, nervous and anxious, and did I mention tired? This baby is my biggest so far and he is determined to either kick his way out through my belly, or headbutt his way out through the baby chute - very uncomfortable all the time, so I'm not feeling very patient or easygoing. Poor Daughter bears the brunt of it, struggling to keep herself busy while I loll around on the couch.

There I go again with the complaining. I'm sorry.

Well, Saturday is my sister's wedding, so tomorrow is the rehearsal. It's looking to be a busy weekend. I'll be back next week, hopefully with something other than whining...

40 weeks is a lot of weeks

Whoa, July is like, over already! What is up with that? How come sucky old February seems to last forever, but the rest of the year whizzes by in a blur?

Also, how come pregnancy lasts for twelve thousand months but children go from newborn to 3 years old in a flash?

I've hit 35 weeks and I officially feel fat and tired. I can't sleep for myriad reasons, and baby boy is extremely low in my pelvis so no matter where/how I sit, stand, or lay, I feel like I'm crushing his poor wee head. I now realize it is possible to be both completely grateful for a healthy (so far) pregnancy and deeply resentful of how lousy it can make me feel. Oh well, it is all worth it for a healthy baby in the end. I'm just not "good at" being pregnant. God bless those of you with the big families - any more pregnancies than I've had and I think I'd lose it!

So, blah blah, whine whine, etc. I'm doing some pretty hard-core nesting now, which tells me baby is coming soon. I want to be fully prepared by 38 weeks, as that is when Daughter was born. I ordered 2 dozen prefold diapers last week, along with a Thirsties cover to test, from Baby Cotton Bottoms. All are washed the required 3 times for fluffiness and absorbancy, folded, and ready to go. I also have some regular old fashioned Gerber vinyl pants, and I've knit up some wool soakers to try:

Two newborn size and one small. All made with worsted wool scraps from my stash (mostly Patons Classic Merino). I'll hopefully be lanolizing these today or tomorrow - they are going to take forever to dry in our current tropical rainforest-like weather.

I'm also working on a blanket and a couple sweaters, though nothing is in really good shape to be photographed right now. I flit back and forth between projects depending on my interest, the temperature, and my level of discomfort each day. Frankly, I do a lot of laying around on the couch.

Nothing else too exciting to report. I'm anxious and restless and just trying to keep my house in some semblance of order so when baby comes, I don't return to a disaster.

35 week biophysical profile tomorrow morning at the hospital. As always, thank you for your continued prayers and good thoughts!

pattern wanted

Hey sewing people, I have a request. Anyone know of (or have) a relatively simple pattern for overalls in at least a size 4? I was reading through some old posts looking for something, and I came across these pictures of Daughter at 18 months, wearing her Osh Kosh overalls. I almost wept at the cuteness. The denim! The wee hat! The tiny chuck taylors! Well, we still have chucks and hats, but the overalls are long outgrown. I'd like to make some more. Because, you know, I have so much free time. HA! I figure the next 6 weeks will go by much faster if I just load up with projects I can't possibly finish.

more baby knits

We had our 33 week biophysical profile this morning. Baby scored 8 out of 8 on the sonogram portion (I do not know what that means but 100% has to be good right?), and I am assuming he scored the other 2 out of 2 on the fetal monitor because his heart rate rose and fell according to his activity. We will find out next week at my regular OB appointment, I guess, but so far so good. Thank you all for your continued thoughts, prayers, and encouragement!

And now, a sweater suitable for a two-armed baby:

I got the second sleeve finished a couple nights ago, washed the sweater, and put some buttons on. The buttons are not a very inspired choice (just clear plastic) but despite the nice button collection I have amassed over the years, not many of them are suitable for boys. Oh well, clear goes with everything. And I am trying to stick to a budget, so I make do with what I have.

So:
"Beloved Blue" sweater from Leisure Arts booklet called "Sweet Layettes to Knit"
Size: 6 months
Yarn: Lion Brand Baby Soft in pistachio - sport weight
Needles: US 4 and 5
Buttons: cheesy plastic
Dates: Cast on 4th of July, finished 14th of July

I love this sweater. This is the 5th one I've made, and I bet I will make it again. It knits up surprisingly fast and has NO seaming. Love that! I'm going to try to find some soft flannel with this green color in it for wee pants, and baby boy will have a warm winter outfit.

Moving...down:

Yesterday during naptime I cast on for a wool soaker. I am planning to order my cloth diapers soon (I told myself when I get to 35 weeks I can place the order...again with the jinx thing, I don't know, whatever), and I think I will experiment with covers to see what I like.

I knit a newborn size, all the while thinking it looked too impossibly small to actually fit on a real baby. However, for comparison, above you can see a newborn disposable diaper, the soaker I made, and a Gerber vinyl diaper cover in size 0-3 months (which I believe is the smallest they make). It's quite stretchy and I do think it will go over a newborn's diapered bottom.

Note it is not finished - I grafted the crotch seam last night as the TV news was ending and I knew I had to be up super early this morning to get to the hospital, so I will be making the cuffs once I finish this post. I originally wanted to make them in white to complement the waistband, but I'm thinking white will show poo stains. Eew. Maybe I'll use the blue.

I plan to make at least one more of these in newborn, and then one in small just to see what will fit. They use precious little yarn - I used the white at the waist because I was sure I did not have enough blue, but it turns out I didn't have to do that. So I'm just stash-diving for scraps and leftovers of 100% wool to make these. This one used a bit of Cascade 220, leftover from a hat I made my sister 2 Christmases ago, and Ella Rae Classic leftover from a sweater I made for Daughter.

Well, now I really have the baby knitting bug...watch for more wee sweaters and accessories to come. I swear all my nervousness and tension flows right down my arms and out through the needles, as if I could knit my way to a successful pregnancy. The faster I knit, the better things will go. Makes perfect sense, right? That's what I'm going with, anyway.

and a choir of angels sang "hallelujah"

Oh, sweet relief! The in-laws did not come over this weekend! I repeat, the in-laws DID NOT come over! I was able to avoid scrubbing the toilet in 90 degree weather (though I still had to mop the bathroom floor due to an unfortunate waiting-too-long-to-run-to-the-potty incident). And we were able to relax on Sunday and read the paper, lay around, watch movies, grocery shop, and even take naps. Don't ask me why they didn't end up coming...my m-i-l got her panties in a twist about something, as usual, and gave my husband an earful on the phone before saying they weren't coming and then hanging up on him. Oh dear. Please don't punish us this way, wah wah.

I even got some quality knitting time in yesterday evening once the temperature dropped to a nice, breezy 70.


(Color is waaaayyy off here)

It's coming along nicely. Because of our forty-seven sonograms, we have personally witnessed the existence of two arms on our child, so it's not done yet. Perhaps today during naptime, if I don't fall asleep...

knits for mama and baby

A couple of months ago I dug out some bright, fun sock yarn from my stash because I needed something to cheer me up - May was cold and dreary so I decided to make myself something happy. These have been my waiting-room and sitting-outside-while-Daughter-plays project, but I pushed through and finished them a couple of days ago:


Plain ol' socks for me.
Yarn: Knitpicks Sock Memories in Geranium (no longer available)
Needles: US 2
Pattern: Wendy's toe-up socks (for a change...I always knit top-down socks)

This stinking yarn is quite pretty but it felts like the dickens. I'm glad they discontinued it because it is SO frustrating to work so hard on something and have it practically ruined after one wash. I put these in the washer on COLD, in a mesh bag, and hung them to dry. Still, they felted. I knit them larger than necessary because I knew that would happen (I have used this yarn in the past) and they still seem a bit small now. Bummer.

I'm thinking I should get crankin' on some footie socks for the hospital, eh? 7 weeks or so, and it's flying by. I'll be sure to use some superwash yarn.

I also decided that it's time to start knitting for baby. I'm a real freak about jinxing myself (which makes my husband crazy), but knowing I'll have so little time for sewing and knitting between September and, say, Christmas has goosed me into starting some stuff. I've got a blanket and a sweater in the works. The sweater will look familiar to at least one of you reading this:


I have made this same sweater 4 times for other people because it always turns out adorable, and because it's hard to find a nice infant sweater pattern appropriate for a boy. Other than plain socks, I've never made the same thing over and over, so you know it must be a good pattern! It knits up quickly in a sweet basketweave pattern combined with cable twists. I believe it's a Leisure Arts pattern but it isn't handy right now - I will post that info with the finished sweater.

I can tell you that after making it once I modified the pattern to knit the sleeves down from the body. The pattern as written has you knit and seam the sleeves, then set them into the armholes. Bleh!

This was originally a post about knitting projects, but I managed to snap a halfway decent photo of Daughter's flower girl dress. My sister's wedding is in 3 weeks so I've really been working at getting both the flower girl dress and my own matron of honor muumuu finished!


The on-the-hanger shot does NOT do this dress justice. It looks so sweet on an actual person. I will post a photo of Daughter actually wearing the dress once I can get her to put it on for more than 4 seconds. I realize it looks all crookedy and narrow on the hanger, but really it's got a nice full skirt below the sash. It needs the slip/underskirt and a human being to fill it out.

Pattern: Burda 9757, size 2
Materials: party taffeta from Joann Fabrics (100% poly) for the dress and, I believe, polyester shantung for the sash. One regular white zipper, white thread, and a yard of eyelet for the slip/underskirt.

This was a nice, simple pattern to put together, but it was odd. The bodice is self-lined with the taffeta, which is good because the fabric is see-through. But you construct the whole dress before putting in the zipper, meaning you have double raw edges on the bodice, and you are sewing over some major bumpy material at the waist. The zipper has to be sewn in under the doubled bodice fabric and the gathered skirt. Not for the faint of heart...and even though I have some experience my zipper still came out a little 'off' at the neckline. I'm hoping no one will notice the 1/8" discrepancy because I'm so NOT re-sewing the zipper into that taffeta.

There was no provision for lining the skirt, so I made a really long half-slip with a gathered waist. I used eyelet both for looks and so I could avoid yet another hem. To keep it hiked up to the empire waist (where it needs to be to avoid any see-through-ness) I've just tacked it to the waistline seam allowance of the dress. Yes, it's jury-rigged, but it should keep the long slip from sliding down to her waist and dragging on the ground under the dress.

My dress is actually finished as well, but it's just a boring navy crepe sheath with a sash to pull it in under the bust (not that there's much space there for a sash, but oh well). The sash I spent 3 hours making yesterday turned out super crappy (I tried to use chiffon so it would be a bit of a fancy touch on such a plain dress) so it's back to the drawing board. I'm leaning heavily toward just buying double-faced satin ribbon and calling it a day.

Well, it's 90 degrees and humid today, it is our 5th wedding anniversary, my in-laws are supposed to be coming over tomorrow (supposedly with food and cake - it was Hubs' birthday two days ago) and to cap things off my brand new iron crapped out yesterday while I was sewing. So that means I have to try to exchange the dumb iron, and then I get to scrub the toilet and vacuum in 90 degree weather. On my anniversary. Oh, and did I mention I am feeling quite fat and tired? And impatient? And there are little feet jammed up under my ribcage 90% of the time? AND my m-i-l actually called this week to ask me to hem a dress for her? Hubs told her no way, and she had better not show up with it.

I'm going to try to have a nice weekend. Hope you all do too!

32 week update

We had our first biophysical profile this morning at the hospital. 32 weeks and all seems to be well. Baby boy is so active that the nurse actually had trouble starting the non-stress test. We've reached the "Alien" phase of pregnancy where something appears to be trying to emerge from my navel. Creeeeeeeepy!

It is kind of fun to have these repeat sonograms. We've got lots of good pictures of his wee face so it's like we're getting to know him in advance. For those who asked, no, these are not the fancy 3D sonograms, just regular ones, but they are quite high-tech so the pictures are fairly clear. I'm thinking this is going to be yet another child who looks just like my husband. Ummm, hello? I'm doing all the work here. It would be nice if one of my children at least resembled me.

In other pregnancy news, I'm not sleeping well due to the burning pain in my hips. I'm so tired but I can't get any sleep. It's a vicious cycle and it's making me crabby. Boo. I've tried the pillow-between-the-knees thing and that only makes it worse. Any suggestions?

feather and fan shawl

I suppose I should hurry up and post some sewing and knitting stuff before this becomes the all-baby blog, eh?

Last week Hubs attended a computer training thingy in Las Vegas, so Daughter and I camped out at my parents' house. Yes, I am capable of staying alone in my home, but we figured that in my delicate condition I should be around people that could help if anything went wrong. Plus, an entire week of solo parenting might have gotten a little stressful.

I didn't really have any chores to do (my mom doesn't even require me to make my bed anymore...how sweet is that?) so I had ample time for some crafty endeavors.

First up I desperately wanted to finish the shawl I started over a year ago. My goal was to finish it before baby arrives, though I was really shooting for the end of June so I could move on to other things.


Crappy picture, I know, but it was really hard to take a photo of a blue shawl on a pink sheet inside the house on a cloudy day. I had to use the flash and try to adjust the color - this is the best I could do.

Anyway, whatever, it's DONE! Tens of thousands of stitches! And it is finished!

Details:
Feather and Fan shawl by Eugen Beugler, from A Gathering of Lace
Knitpicks Alpaca Cloud laceweight yarn in Stream Heather - 4 complete hanks
US size 5 needles (16 inch and 24 inch)
Jump rings (for making jewelry) as stitch markers
Eleventy thousand million T-pins for blocking
Mom to help with blocking out each crochet loop around the edge

The finished measurement of the shawl is listed as 68" across in the book, but mine is nowhere near that size. I knit fairly tightly, so I used less yarn than called for and when we were blocking it we were terrified it would rip if we stretched it to that measurement (I read about that happening to someone with this very shawl on Ravelry). It just wasn't working and the pins were popping out all over the place. So we eased it back to more like 60 to 62 inches across, which is still quite large and useful, but didn't stress the yarn so much.

I still have one full hank of the yarn left over, wound into a center-pull ball, if anyone could use it. Just leave a comment.

I'm rather proud of this project. It wasn't difficult, per se, but definitely tedious and time consuming! It came out just about perfect, except for one gaping giant error that you can't really see in this photo. I must have made a mistake waaaaaaayyyy back when I started and didn't know how to fix it or something, because I left it and now there's a hole. I guess if I wear it I will just have to fold it over to hide the hole (it is about a dime-size hole). For now it goes into the cedar chest and I will move on to finishing something else...

bargains for baby

So in light of the relatively positive news we received yesterday morning, I went and did a little shopping. It turns out we are drowning in newborn clothing (I was given 2 showers while pregnant with Daughter - one fam/friends and one with work people) but it is all white/yellow/green and primarily duck-themed, which I guess was the thing in Spring 2005. We did not know for sure that Daughter was a girl, thus all the unisex clothing.

It just so happens that Babies R Us and Toys R Us are having a really good sale right now. Gerber layette items and lots of Carter's clothing are an extra 20% off the already marked-down price. Do check it out if you are in need of baby items as you will score some major bargains. I got a few blue wee side-snap shirts, onesies, cotton mitts (to keep the child from scratching himself) and little knit pants. All that Gerber stuff was way cheap (less than $10 for everything). Then as I was at the checkout, I spied some Converse boxes in a bin with a clearance sign.

I must quickly state that I adore Converse All-Stars and have owned at least one pair at any given time since I was in 5th grade. Daughter has owned, I think, 4 pair already in her 3 years, starting with toddler size 4. I am keeping the brown pair and the white pair for baby brother, but the pink high-tops and the black high-tops with pink tongue will go to someone else's little girl someday.

Anyway, in light of my deep affection for these shoes, I sprinted to the clearance bin. People. Listen to this. They had 4 pairs of these sneakers. Black high-tops in size 8 - snatched those up for Daughter as she is just getting into size 8 right now and these sneaks run quite big. Red high-tops in size 5 - snatched those for baby brother. Black high-tops in size 5 - ditto. (The last box contained one more pair of black h-t in size 5 but obviously I don't need 2 pairs the same.)

Guess how much they were? The clearance sticker said $2.00. TWO DOLLARS. For twenty-dollar shoes!!!


BUT WAIT!

When the girl scanned them at the checkout, they were also part of the additional 20% off clearance sale.

I GOT THEM ALL FOR $1.60 EACH.

Some people might not put their little girl in black high-top sneakers. But I sure will. Especially for $1.60.

So awesome.

"this baby looks good"

The specialist said many things this morning, but what I keep hearing in my head is "this baby looks good."

And he does! Plump little cheeks, sweet tiny feet, all the parts where they should be. He is in breech position right now, which will hopefully change over the next couple of months, but right now I'm actually enjoying it because there are no little feet jammed up under my ribcage. He is measuring right on for gestational age (a few days ahead, in fact) and at an estimated 3 lbs, 12 oz he is right smack in the 50th percentile for size.

As of today, there are no detectable problems. I've been asked to come back each week from now until delivery for biophysical profiles - a fancy way of saying a sono and a non-stress test. According to the perinatologist they can often detect problems that way before the baby is in serious distress, so that's what we're going to do. But as of right now, well, the baby looks good.

Thank you for your continued prayers as we make our way through these final weeks.

checking in

All is well. Been away from the house (and therefore computer) all week, so no posts. :(

Super-duper sonogram at the hospital tomorrow morning.

More to come.

my baby knows kung fu

You all have seen The Matrix, right? (Shut up, you so have...either you watched it because you wanted to or your husband/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/kooky buddy made you.)

Anyway, you know how Keanu Reeves gets plugged in and they download all that martial arts stuff into him and then he wakes up? And then he says, in that way only Keanu can, "I know kung fu."

It's a total Ted "Theodore" Logan moment in the middle of a much more sophisticated movie and it cracks me up every time I see it. And now I crack myself up because every time this baby pummels the crap out of my insides (and he does, oh how he does...my other two were languid stretchers but not this one), I give my husband my best blank-faced Keanu look and use my best wonder-filled Keanu voice to say, "my baby knows kung fu."

Hmmmm. Re-reading that, I guess I am probably the only one who finds it side-splittingly funny. Oh well.

belated birthday gift

It's only 60 degrees today, which means it is cool enough for me to sew. The upstairs room in our house (it's a 1.5 story) tends to be 900 degrees all the time and is therefore not usable much of the time. Even with the windows open at both ends of the room the temperature hovers around "surface of the sun." On a nice cooler day like this it's ok, and in the winter I can sew up there with all the windows open - I'm not even kidding about that. Something in the construction is waaaayyyy wrong up there.

Anyway, I started a birthday gift for my youngest sister last month, and intended to have it finished long before now. I got the embroidery done but then it became too warm to sew upstairs and the project languished.

Finished it up today:



These are standard pillowcases with a monogram, trimmed in blue batik. That strip is actually a folded piece, so it's kind of 3-dimensional. I used french seams throughout because my serger is not cooperating, so these took awhile, but the pattern is awesome and they always come out perfect (I have made lots as gifts...really fun in novelty prints).

Yes, you can still see the embroidery hoop impression - the pencil markings I used to mark the center for the design also show, so I will wash, dry, and press these before sending them off. But at least they are done!

I had this dumb idea in late winter/early spring that I needed to load myself up with projects to make my pregnancy go by faster and keep me occupied. It would be embarrassing to actually list all the things I thought I would accomplish this summer. With only 10 weeks or so left, I can see that I will quickly run out of time before anything actually gets done. Hopefully this is the last of the handmade gifts that need making and I can just shelve all the lofty goals I had, focusing on a few relaxing items for the next two months.

big girl bed

Well hello there! Where did another week go?

Actually, I know exactly where the week went. Last Monday Daughter's Big Girl Bed was delivered. We shopped around and discovered that we could get the best combination of price and quality by ordering the same bed we recently purchased for ourselves (but in a twin size). This is the platform portion, and this is the mattress. We have the exact same thing for ourselves but in queen size, and I cannot recommend these beds highly enough. Great price, super comfortable, fast shipping, and easy to assemble.

So we put the bed together the day it arrived, rearranged the room to accommodate it, and pretty much told Daughter the crib is now off-limits. I know it sounds really weird that we had to do that, but we have the one kid in the universe who never once attempted to climb out of the crib, and in fact has been quite happy in there for 3+ years. So we had to kind of insist that she use the big girl bed now (with a rail, and pushed against the wall for safety and security). In order to make it happen, I have had to lay there with her, chatting, rubbing her back, and singing to her. Hubs also comes in to sing some songs and make her feel comfortable.

She hates it.

At least she says she does. She keeps asking to sleep in the baby bed, but we have now told her about her baby brother and that we will eventually be needing to 'share' the baby bed with him, and now she is a big girl of 3, and big girls who are 3 sleep in big girl beds, etc, etc. So it's going ok, and though I have been laying there for less and less time each night, I still do have to snuggle with her a bit so she will not feel scared or uncomfortable.

That is not the real issue, though. The real issue is that she has figured out she can get out of bed herself now, and she has been doing so...earlier and earlier each morning.

Look, I try to keep it real on the blog, and I try to always be honest, so I will go ahead and admit that my family routinely gets out of bed between 8 and 8:30 each morning. I know that is ridiculously late to most of you, but Hubs works a later schedule than his boss so they can cover the whole office day, meaning his boss goes in at the crack of dawn, and Hubs rolls in between 9 and 10 but stays later in the evening. This is the schedule that Daughter really set when she started sleeping through the night, and it's been just fine with us for 3 years. She would always hang out in her crib, talking to her stuffed animals or whatever, until we came for her, and often would be just opening her eyes at 8 or 8:15.

Now, for reasons I cannot understand, she is waking up super duper freaking early. It started a few nights into the big girl bed experience...first it was 7:25, and I took that shift, then it was 7:01 yesterday morning, which Hubs took on, and today? Today it was 6:30. In the A.M. I haven't seen that hour since Daughter was a nursing infant, and I have been very happy with that situation. I made her get into bed with me for a half-hour, because what am I going to do with her at 6:30?!? I even pointed to the alarm clock (useless device these days) and showed her that the '6' means it's too early to get up. We had to wait for it to be a '7'.

Now I know well-meaning folks will suggest that we close her door (nope, she can open doors), or put a gate in the doorway, or just tell her to stay in her bed until we get her. Well HAHAHA, don't you think we've tried that sort of thing? The problem is she wakes up frightened to be in a dark-ish quiet house, and when she appears next to the bed, and I suggest she go back to her bed for awhile or even come into our bed, she quite literally bursts into tears, telling me the sun is up, it's not time for sleeping anymore. She begs us to please, please wake up now, and what are we supposed to do with that? Our bedrooms are on the first floor, and I can't have her just wandering out into the rest of the house alone...so we do want her to come wake us up. We just wish it wasn't so blessed early. This morning I told Hubs it won't be long till we're getting up at 4 a.m., like old people.

Oh wait, pretty soon I WILL be getting up at 4 a.m. And 3 a.m. And 2 a.m. and every hour of every day because hello, I am having a baby in, like, ten weeks. Aaaaaak! Maybe this is just Daughter's way of helpfully preparing me to be awakened from a lovely sleep on a near-constant basis. Woo hoo.

Anyway, I am not really looking for solutions here, because we don't really think there are any. I am just hoping she acclimates a bit better to the new bed and sleeps in a bit more once she is more comfortable, but whatever. If she doesn't, she doesn't. Our awesome sleep schedule couldn't last forever, I guess.

But it is my excuse for being away from the blog for a week. I've just been tired and pouring lots of energy into these bed issues (and also lots of cleaning...summer in an ooooooold house in the woods means extra vigilance about bugs 'n stuff, which requires a lot of constant wiping/laundering/mopping/etc). I continue to slog through the end of the blue shawl - 10 rounds to go, but at 1320 stitches per round, it is slow going. One or two rounds per day at best. Today is a nice, cool day, so perhaps some sewing will take place during naptime and I will have something new to show tomorrow.

heat wave

Whew! Those of you who have central air, count your blessings. It's a not-so-balmy 90 degrees here today and, of course, it is humid. That's how Buffalo works, peeps. A week ago we took Daughter to the doctor in a wool sweater, and now...yikes. IT IS WARM.

We made it through our crazy weekend of events, and my poor feet are recovering from being squished into heels (low though they were) for three days in hot weather. I'm glad it's all over, and all the events were lovely, but I find that I am feeling somewhat lonely today after all that socializing.

Anyway, it is too hot to do much other than sit still near the window A/C, so I did all the chores I could very early before it got too gross (though it was 85 when we got up so whatever), and now I'm spending naptime with my shawl.


The color is so inaccurate here - I couldn't find a place to take a photo where the color would be right. It's more of a dark, dusty denim blue. So pretty.

I'm about to begin row 164 of 189, and am almost done with my third ball of yarn. Having looked this shawl up on Ravelry (there are over 100!!!), I see that people used between 4 and 5 hanks of Knitpicks Alpaca Cloud, so I should be ok with my 5. Amazing that only 25 more rounds will likely take close to 880 more yards of yarn!

I am still in love with working on this, despite the repetitiveness of the pattern. Or maybe that's exactly why I'm loving it. At 28 weeks pregnant, I can't help but feel the "witching hour" is approaching, as we lost our baby girl between 30 and 31 weeks. There are many, many silent prayers worked into this shawl, let me tell you.

I was hoping to finish it up in time to present it to my sister at her wedding shower yesterday, but last week my hands and wrists were cramping terribly as I knit, so I had to put it aside for several days. I'd like to either give or lend it to her as her "something blue" for her wedding day. Even though it will be August, the church and reception are air conditioned, so she may need a little something for her shoulders. We'll see if I can get it done and blocked by then.

Laid out sideways, it reminds me of a squid:



Back to my A/C and 1176 stitches per round...so soothing.

some like it hot

I swear that a week ago we had the heat on in the house.

Now we have traded in sweaters for sunblock. It's a lovely, breezy, 82 degrees, perfect for playing outside and hanging clothes on the line. I spent the morning scrubbing the house and doing laundry and will spend the afternoon doing so as well, but we took an hour out to play in the sun.

Picking bouquets:

My daughter, Leggy McLeggersons

We have a very zany weekend coming up (thus all the cleaning today), so I'm signing off till next week. Tomorrow Daughter and I will attend a fancy birthday dinner while Hubs attends a wedding rehearsal and dinner, then on Saturday we will all attend the wedding for which he is rehearsing, and on Sunday I'll be heading to my sister's wedding shower. Ay-yi-yi. Somewhere in there we have to mow the lawn, grocery shop, and, you know, sleep.

We're expecting a beautiful weekend in the 80s - here's hoping it's nice where you are too!

bad girl

So our budget is pretty tight these days, and I've been doing so well with careful grocery shopping, and I'm making our dressy clothes for the summer, etc......but I got caught off-guard this morning. We went to Joann's to get a piece of fabric for Daughter's flower girl dress sash, and some red clearance tags in the yarn section caught my eye.

I know, I know...I need more yarn like I need a hole in the head.

Here's what I got:

7 skeins winter white Patons Decor (75% acrylic/25% wool, worsted weight)
1 skein black Lion Baby Soft (acrylic, sport weight)
3 skeins sage Lion Wool (100% wool, worsted weight)
1 skein bright Patons Astra (acrylic, sport weight)
1 ball pink DMC crochet cotton

Here's why:

Can you read that? All of those yarns were 97 cents each. Except the pink crochet cotton. That was 50 cents. Gosh, it was like Joann's was having a garage sale! How could I leave these good basics behind? I wouldn't have bought the Astra in those bright colors but Daughter went bananas over it and she could use a new hat to match her red winter coat, so whatever. She is worth 97 cents.

I actually left quite a bit of 97-cent yarn in the bins. They had lots of Lion Wool but in colors I did not like (an ugly gray, a very weird red), and I struggled to only buy things I know I will make good use of. Now I must fight the urge to go to any of the other 3 Joann stores in our area to look for more cheap yarn! Nah, I won't. My urge to purchase has been well and truly satiated and I'm back on track for savings. We just ordered Daughter's big-girl bed and I'm determined to SAVE the rest of our stimulus check.

there but for the grace of God go I

Thank you for bearing with me through that last post. It was a rough weekend. Sometimes Hubs and I do not work in tandem and there were a few days there where I felt we were just at odds, especially in the parenting department. We farmed Daughter out to Grandma and Papa on Sunday night because I had an early MD appointment in the city on Monday, and the break did us all good. This morning she was actually quite agreeable and we all seem to be back on track. Mostly.

Speaking of this morning, as if I don't have enough on my plate, we got to pay a visit to the premier pediatric cardiologist in our area. At Daughter's 3 year well-check the doctor thought she detected a slight abnormality in her heart rate. It was around 120 bpm at rest, which she thought was high. We went for bloodwork (which came back normal) and then had an EKG done at the pediatrician's office. This showed a very tiny blip before each beat, indicating the possibility of a problem. So they sent us to this pediatric cardiologist.

I must say upfront that Daughter is perfectly fine. The doctor said she has a beautiful heart and he sees no problem at all. The pediatrician was just erring on the side of caution and that's fine with us - and thank goodness for good medical insurance. She had another EKG and an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) this morning and I can't imagine how much that costs. We will have to pay a bit, but insurance will cover the majority of it.

I will tell you all this much: if you are lucky enough, as we are, to have been blessed with a healthy child (or children), be thankful. I have been in silent communication with God ever since leaving the cardiologist this morning, thanking Him for one beautifully healthy child and, quite frankly, straight-up asking for another.

While in the waiting room this morning we saw a baby so tiny I thought he must only be a few weeks old. Then I heard the mother say "13 weeks" and I can only imagine how small he was at birth. We saw a little girl (2 and a half according to her mother) who was obviously developmentally disabled, but very sweet and energetic, with a huge scar running down her chest (she was running around with no shirt on for some reason). Her mother said she had open heart surgery at 4 months. What challenges have they faced? What will they face as she grows up? My heart went out to them. There was also a young mother with a little boy named Jose, in process of being adopted from another country. Did they know he had a heart problem before? Or is this something they discovered after they got him? While being led to an examining room, we saw a little girl who was on oxygen. What is life like for her? What will it be like as she grows up?

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears in that place. Everyone was so kind - all the nurses and techs and the doctor himself - and I can't say how grateful I am that we were able to walk out of there and not look back. All those families, all those little kids whose hearts aren't functioning as they should...even now I am fighting back tears.

There but for the grace of God, indeed.

in which i am a jerk

This is one of those days...one of those days where by the end of it you just feel so used up you can't figure out how you're even going to brush your own teeth before bed. The weather was extremely unsettled all night and so was I, waking over and over, and having bizarre dreams when I did sleep. High humidity led to aching sinuses this morning, and lack of sleep led to a bad attitude all day.

Daughter has reached a phase where every single thing begets an argument. The only thing she does willingly these days is clean her plate at dinner, because she wants a "sandwich cookie" - that being a generic Target chocolate/vanilla faker Oreo, which is not as good as a real Oreo, but will suffice when all you need is the hit of sugar. And you are kind of broke. Which I am.

Seriously, I am so tired of arguing with my kid. By bathtime tonight I was pretty much straight-up yelling at her, which as we all know gets you nowhere...but I didn't know how to stop. Hubs had left us alone to go get fitted for a tuxedo (he is in a wedding next weekend), the kitchen was still filled with dirty dinner dishes, there were toys everywhere, and I had no reserves left. Now Daughter is in bed and I feel like a total a-hole. I want to apologize to her but how do you explain yourself to a 3 year-old? How do I explain that I am trying to grow a human being here, and it is way more tiring than women are given credit for?

I have so many things to do, and I just want to sit down for awhile and be left the hell alone. But then Daughter asks for a glass of milk, and Hubs acts like he suddenly can't hear, so who else is going to get up and do it? Poor kid can't wait on herself.

My sister emailed to ask how our dresses are coming along for her wedding...you know, just curious! So I've been filled with guilt because I hadn't even taken the fabric out of the bags yet, much less started sewing. The wedding isn't until August, what's the rush? But she is coming home for her shower next weekend, and now I feel obligated to at least finish the flower girl dress so she can see it. I've been a bride, I know that unsettled feeling when things aren't done and ready. She wants to know there will be a flower girl dress, so I need to produce one. I spent naptime today cutting it out and pondering how to mark for tucks on taffeta.

The fridge is empty. Like, Mother Hubbard empty. Hubs is complaining, but tomorrow is grocery day, not today, so leave me alone, dude. There was plenty to make a good dinner, but nothing to snack on! God forbid!

I have heartburn tonight and I don't know if it's from what I ate, or how awful I feel about my rotten behavior toward my poor kid.

So much to do, and I am only one person. And I feel like a jerk for not being able to keep up.

all this useless beauty

I have been obsessed with one thing all week:


The Feather & Fan shawl from A Gathering of Lace. I started it somewhere around a year ago, but put it aside in summer because hot, humid weather + fuzzy alpaca yarn = disaster. Then I couldn't work on it all winter because dry, rough hands + fuzzy alpaca yarn = disaster also. But now that we are experiencing a super-extended spring (temps still in the high 50s/low 60s) I have been able to pick it up again.

I also wanted to work something complicated and interesting before the baby arrives and my brain dribbles out of my head. You moms know that of which I speak.

When I restarted this I was just at the end of my first ball of Knitpicks Alpaca Cloud (440 yards), and had completed 100 rows of the pattern. There were 600 stitches per round at that point. I thought it took forever to get around, and heaven help me if I made a mistake, because finding it and fixing it was a hellish, 2-day operation that made me want to poke my eyes out.

So I daringly picked it back up, joined the second ball of yarn, and have now completed 136 of 189 rows. That may sound good, but I am now at a point where there are well over 800 stitches per round, and each round takes approximately 45 minutes to knit. Seriously. The pattern is 3 plain knit rounds, then one pattern round. In one evening of knitting (from approximately 9:00 until 11 or 11:30) I can knit about 4 rounds. But not always. Even though it is the very definition of tedious, I am enjoying it immensely.

Hubs snickers at me because I am knitting a shawl - he thinks it a very "old lady" thing to do (no, he does not read knitting blogs and does not know hundreds of young ladies are knitting up a lace storm). He keeps asking me why I'm doing it. I don't have a really good answer for that. I guess it's because I get tired of knitting toddler sweaters - Daughter barely wears them anymore now that she is so active because she gets too hot - and I'm not really ready to make baby boy sweaters yet. The repetitive nature and need for constant counting keeps me nice and calm and occupied, so I can't devote energy and thoughts to pregnancy anxiety. And also, it's nice sometimes to make something that's beautiful...just for beauty's sake. Why not?

For the record, last year I remember thinking (and may have even stated here) that I didn't know how this shawl was going to take 5 whole balls of yarn at 440 yards each. I was halfway through the chart and had only used one ball! But now, having knit 36 more rounds, I get it. The second ball is almost gone already and I am hoping I make it with the yarn I have. 800+ stitches per round really eats up yarn quickly.

So today, instead of madly knitting, I forced myself to use naptime productively; I vacuumed (finally, eew), and did the dishes, and even got some laundry out on the line to dry. Plus I worked on the hem of my brown linen dress (which I will finish tomorrow). I probably have enough left of naptime to work one more round of the shawl......if you need me, I'll be hunched over my lace, brow furrowed, counting, counting. But don't let the scowl fool you...I will be happy! :)