Thursday, July 31, 2008

Daughter 'n me

Daughter woke up from her nap today literally crying to go to the beach. It was already 4:30 so I called Hubs, told him to bring home a pizza, and threw her in the car to go spend an hour playing in the sand.

I am trying - through my exhaustion and discomfort - to savor these times with Daughter, for they are fleeting. Soon it will be so different, and I'm just now realizing our 3+ years alone together are coming to an end. We are all excited about Baby Brother, but it will be strange to have to split my attention, and strange for her to have to share me with another child.

So today we sat on our towel while the wind whipped around us, watching the windsurfers and shoveling sand into a bucket. The wind was so loud we couldn't hear ourselves think, much less talk, so it was kind of nice. We just hung out and watched the waves roll in. After awhile Daughter wanted to "cool her feet off" in the water (she calls the lake "the beach pool" which cracks me up), so we moved to the edge of the water and she played in the goopy wet sand for 45 minutes while I stood in ankle-deep frothy lake water. It's not glamorous, people, but it's free.

The beach is one of the only places where Daughter will completely amuse herself for long periods of time, so I let her play as long as she wanted to. I've been such a crappy mom lately, tired all the time and with no energy to do anything, nervous and anxious, and did I mention tired? This baby is my biggest so far and he is determined to either kick his way out through my belly, or headbutt his way out through the baby chute - very uncomfortable all the time, so I'm not feeling very patient or easygoing. Poor Daughter bears the brunt of it, struggling to keep herself busy while I loll around on the couch.

There I go again with the complaining. I'm sorry.

Well, Saturday is my sister's wedding, so tomorrow is the rehearsal. It's looking to be a busy weekend. I'll be back next week, hopefully with something other than whining...

1 comment:

Karen said...

Sending lots of sympathy and care your way.

Enjoy the weekend. :)