Ah, I appreciate the commiseration re: stinking it up in the parenting arena. I realize we all fail spectacularly once in awhile with the mommy-ing, but it is nice to hear it anyway. We are fine now, despite a few weekend references to the 'bo-ken' book. On Saturday, Daughter gave me one of those wicked headbutts to the bridge of the nose (you know the ones, where you're sure your nose is broken and it hurts all the way to the back of your head) so I figure we're even. Oh, also, she dropped a glass tumbler of water (which, hello, I was stupid enough to leave on my nightstand), so I spent some quality time cleaning up water and glass shards. Yes, yes, Mother of the Year, indeed.
Today did not start out too grandly either. We had a friend over last night who overstayed, so I got to bed really late, and then I woke up at 5:30 am for no reason. I was too hot and couldn't get back to sleep. What? I'm a champion of sleep! And besides, 4 hours is not enough for this mama. I managed to fall back to sleep, finally, and then you know how it goes. I totally couldn't drag myself out of bed when the alarm went off. And Hubby didn't help - he must have muttered "a few more minutes" and slapped his snooze button at least 5 times. Oy.
So I was really, really crabby when I got up. It took several cups of caffeine to get me out of my funk, but I finally sort of got it together. And I got to thinkin'...
I've been playing with the idea of setting up a little online shop to sell a few of my homemade things. My husband is fully supportive of the idea and has volunteered to help me (because he's the computer whiz). It would be partly to make a little bit of grocery money, but moreover to give me something to work toward each day. Right now I live a life of tasks, as do many stay-at-home moms, I'm sure. And that's fine, it really is. I'm so glad I'm here to do the things Daughter needs me to do. But I'm also looking to have a goal. Something personal, just for me.
The problem is, in order to figure out what I can make, I have to go through my bins of fabric stash and find appropriate fabrics, trims, etc. And that's what's been stopping me, because if I do that, I have to face all the unfinished projects that have piled up over the years.
When I first got married, I worked in a sewing machine dealership/quilt shop. I stayed there for almost 2 years (until Daughter was born). That was awesome and inspiring, but it led to a lot of unneccesary fabric purchases. I say again, A LOT OF FABRIC PURCHASES. Back then I had time, that precious commodity that is so sorely lacking now (oh, and money). So if I saw a project that looked like fun, I started it. Whee! But I have the attention span of a gnat - you'll notice you don't see any adult sweaters being knit around here, only wee child sweaters, and that's the reason - so I would quickly become bored and stuff the project du jour into a bin and forget about it.
Fast-forward to right now, and I've just really become disgusted with myself for my lack of follow-through. I have a fabric stash that I'm actually ashamed of...I will never, ever use some of this stuff. When I was working in the shop, a young woman would occasionally drop off her grandmother, who was a recent immigrant from some Eastern European country (I want to say Germany but I'm not sure), and somehow I always ended up talking to her. It was a challenge, because her accent was extremely thick, but we managed to communicate. Anyway, I can recall the first time she came in and she was just in awe of the bolts and bolts of beautiful fabrics. Where she comes from, she said, people don't buy big pieces of fabric just to cut them up into little pieces and sew them back together. Where she comes from, you sew together pieces of old clothing and scraps to make something that will keep you warm.
I digress, but the point is the excess. I just can't bear it, and I want to simplify. I need to simplify. I'm so fortunate to have what I have. Now I have to use it. I think I've been really good about fabric purchases in the past year or so. I've really only bought fabrics to make clothes for Daughter, and when I bring home new stuff, I make her a garment right away. As for quilting, I've stopped buying. I'm finally facing up to my bad habit of buying fabric and yarn to make myself feel good (I know some of you out there do the same thing), and now I'm going to finish stuff.
So I lied about making resolutions. My resolution is to finish up all these dang projects that are hanging over my head. I've gathered all the unfinished knitting into one pile and listed the projects and what needs to be done; I've also gathered the sewing projects into a sort-of pile but many are unwieldy and they're all at different stages. Sadly, several just need to be quilted...uuuuugh. But I'm doin' it. I started today.
Project #1: bunny quilt (started summer 2003)