Monday, January 08, 2007

there's a point in here somewhere

Ah, I appreciate the commiseration re: stinking it up in the parenting arena. I realize we all fail spectacularly once in awhile with the mommy-ing, but it is nice to hear it anyway. We are fine now, despite a few weekend references to the 'bo-ken' book. On Saturday, Daughter gave me one of those wicked headbutts to the bridge of the nose (you know the ones, where you're sure your nose is broken and it hurts all the way to the back of your head) so I figure we're even. Oh, also, she dropped a glass tumbler of water (which, hello, I was stupid enough to leave on my nightstand), so I spent some quality time cleaning up water and glass shards. Yes, yes, Mother of the Year, indeed.

Today did not start out too grandly either. We had a friend over last night who overstayed, so I got to bed really late, and then I woke up at 5:30 am for no reason. I was too hot and couldn't get back to sleep. What? I'm a champion of sleep! And besides, 4 hours is not enough for this mama. I managed to fall back to sleep, finally, and then you know how it goes. I totally couldn't drag myself out of bed when the alarm went off. And Hubby didn't help - he must have muttered "a few more minutes" and slapped his snooze button at least 5 times. Oy.

So I was really, really crabby when I got up. It took several cups of caffeine to get me out of my funk, but I finally sort of got it together. And I got to thinkin'...

I've been playing with the idea of setting up a little online shop to sell a few of my homemade things. My husband is fully supportive of the idea and has volunteered to help me (because he's the computer whiz). It would be partly to make a little bit of grocery money, but moreover to give me something to work toward each day. Right now I live a life of tasks, as do many stay-at-home moms, I'm sure. And that's fine, it really is. I'm so glad I'm here to do the things Daughter needs me to do. But I'm also looking to have a goal. Something personal, just for me.

The problem is, in order to figure out what I can make, I have to go through my bins of fabric stash and find appropriate fabrics, trims, etc. And that's what's been stopping me, because if I do that, I have to face all the unfinished projects that have piled up over the years.

When I first got married, I worked in a sewing machine dealership/quilt shop. I stayed there for almost 2 years (until Daughter was born). That was awesome and inspiring, but it led to a lot of unneccesary fabric purchases. I say again, A LOT OF FABRIC PURCHASES. Back then I had time, that precious commodity that is so sorely lacking now (oh, and money). So if I saw a project that looked like fun, I started it. Whee! But I have the attention span of a gnat - you'll notice you don't see any adult sweaters being knit around here, only wee child sweaters, and that's the reason - so I would quickly become bored and stuff the project du jour into a bin and forget about it.

Fast-forward to right now, and I've just really become disgusted with myself for my lack of follow-through. I have a fabric stash that I'm actually ashamed of...I will never, ever use some of this stuff. When I was working in the shop, a young woman would occasionally drop off her
grandmother, who was a recent immigrant from some Eastern European country (I want to say Germany but I'm not sure), and somehow I always ended up talking to her. It was a challenge, because her accent was extremely thick, but we managed to communicate. Anyway, I can recall the first time she came in and she was just in awe of the bolts and bolts of beautiful fabrics. Where she comes from, she said, people don't buy big pieces of fabric just to cut them up into little pieces and sew them back together. Where she comes from, you sew together pieces of old clothing and scraps to make something that will keep you warm.

I digress, but the point is the excess. I just can't bear it, and I want to simplify. I need to simplify. I'm so fortunate to have what I have. Now I have to use it. I think I've been really good about fabric purchases in the past year or so. I've really only bought fabrics to make clothes for Daughter, and when I bring home new stuff, I make her a garment right away. As for quilting, I've stopped buying. I'm finally facing up to my bad habit of buying fabric and yarn to make myself feel good (I know
some of you out there do the same thing), and now I'm going to finish stuff.

So I lied about making resolutions. My resolution is to finish up all these dang projects that are hanging over my head. I've gathered all the unfinished knitting into one pile and listed the projects and what needs to be done; I've also gathered the sewing projects into a sort-of pile but many are unwieldy and they're all at different stages. Sadly, several just need to be quilted...uuuuugh. But I'm doin' it. I started today.

Project #1: bunny quilt (started summer 2003)


Karen said...

Good resolution! I have a few items that I got so frustrated with that I put them in a drawer and ignored them. Maybe I should get them out and try again.

So, can you use any of your fabric stash for Daughter?

Pam said...

You could sell your unused stuff as kits complete with the notions and instructions or you could complete the projects and sell them that way. You'd make far more then just a little grocery money:) You could do special orders, it's endless! What a great goal and to be able to do it from home too. That's awesome. You could really turn this into a great little business. You'll have to keep us all posted!

HangerMom said...

When you start making those little jumpers that your daughter has for ever occasion, definitely keep me posted. That's my favorite sort of dress for little girls and can be amazing hard to find in basic, attractive colors and styles.

Good luck with your resolution!

Morning Glory said...

I have some unfinished stuff of my own stashed away in the closet. Back in the 1980s somewhere I started a counted cross stitch that stayed in its hoop, unfinished, and finally found its way into the discards. I just got plain bored with it.

Then there is the fabric I bought for a dress w/jacket back somewhere in the 90s that is still in the bag with the pattern in the closet, waiting to be resurrected.

Then there are all the projects that I thought I'd like to do, but never did.

You're not alone, Dear.

April said...

Can I come over and watch you do this quilting?

Jenn said...

Go for it! I would love to shop in your etsy store - you make such lovely things! And I really do think you'll feel better by cleaning out the UFOs. We're working to simplify around here as well - I just don't need all this STUFF. Good luck!