People, I ask you, what is the scariest sound the parent of a toddler can hear? Is it the sickening thunk of your child hitting the ground after a fall? Is it the horrific crack of a bone breaking? No, it is not*. The scariest sound the parent of a toddler can hear is...
Tonight I was trying to prepare dinner while also emptying the dishwasher and folding laundry (while my husband sat on his butt on the sofa, but that's a whole 'nother post right there, I'll tell you what). Daughter was in her bedroom looking at books, or so I thought. Suddenly I noticed how quiet it was in there, so I called her name. No response.
I dashed in to find her sitting calmly on the floor, dipping her fingers in the little cup of her Vicks Vaporizer and spreading Kaz inhalant through her hair. Her head was a greasy, mentholated mess, as were her hands. This was largely my fault, because I was being an idiot once again and I left the stupid vaporizer in there on the floor. Also she has been "helping" to wash her own hair in the tub lately, so I'm sure that was the inspiration for this little act. Lovely.
So add to the list of dinner, dishwasher, and laundry the task of hauling a menthol-coated toddler to the bathtub without getting any of the inhalant stuff in anyone's eyes or all over the furniture or anywhere else...
Oh and also? She figured out how to take down the baby gates today.
I'm pretty much screwed.
Hope you're all having a great weekend too!
*tongue in cheek, people. tongue in cheek.