dispatch from the sick house

We are sick. Sooooooo sick. Mega super-duper sick.

Friday my wee baby woke at the crack of dawn coughing and heaving, and would have thrown up if he were physically capable of it. He was lethargic all day long. He did not play, he just wanted to be held.

That night I gave both kids a bath because they desperately needed to be cleansed, and while in the tub, poor AJ...well, he can't throw up, so when he is sick it comes out the other end.

We cleaned that up, and the poor kid continued to blow out diapers all night. We quickly went from cloth to disposable, I assure you. There were several middle-of-the-night bed changes and I was doing laundry at midnight. I figured it was a stomach virus but like an idiot, I continued to feed him and did not call the doctor.

Saturday night we went to a wedding and left the kids with my parents. AJ was the same - listless, wouldn't play, just wanted to be held and cuddled.

Sunday morning my body started trying to turn itself inside out. AJ was still a wet rag. We called the doctor.

Pedialyte to the rescue!

After replacing two feedings he was just about back to his normal self. No more yucky diapers since yesterday morning. I have had zero food for over 36 hours as I write this, but I seem to be coming around. Yesterday afternoon Hubs started with the same symptoms. AJ and I are up this morning, Hubs is still down.

We left Daughter at grandma's house all weekend thinking it would protect her. Just got a call from my mom that my poor girl started vomiting at 3:30 AM. And the saddest part is, she has never done that before and had no idea what was going on. Mom is taking care of her right now because I'm pretty weak and can't care for a baby, a sick husband, and a vomiting 4 year old.

This one comes on HARD AND FAST, friends. Keep washing your hands, don't let your kids put anything in their mouths if you can help it. And maybe stock up on pedialyte and ginger ale just in case.

*updated!!!* FABRIC STASH SALE! EVERYTHING MUST GO!

*MORE STUFF ADDED!!! SCROLL DOWN!!!*

Ok, not everything, exactly. But lots and lots of fabric must go.


(sorry for crappy quality...trying to use natural light in Buffalo in fall is futile at best)

I want to unload a bunch of my quilting fabric (100% cotton), and I thought I would offer it here to you sewists and crafters who will give it a good home under your presser foot. It is just languishing here. My poor son needs his closet so I really do have to get rid of a bunch of stuff. It is just clutter to me right now.



I don't even know how many people come here and read these days, but I am hoping this might bring lurkers out of the woodwork. Please feel free to tell your friends who sew!

Here is the deal:

This is NOT a scrap sale. Some cuts might have a corner hacked out that I used for a project, but they will still be large enough for your use.

All fabric is first quality from either Joann Fabrics or a quilt shop.

Cuts may be anything from a fat eighth to a half-yard.

I will ship to US addresses in US mail priority envelopes. This will cost me $4.95. I would like to make just a little bit of money. Therefore:

******FOR $15 I will pack it nicey-nice.

******FOR $20 I will really jam that sucker full and you will get several yards.

I think that is fair pricing because much of my stash is quilt shop fabric acquired when I worked in a quilt shop!

Now, as for selection, I will sell according to color. That's the best I can do. Choose a color (red, pink, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, brown, off-white, white) and I will send a selection of that color, or choose several colors and I will pick from each group. I also have several cuts of homespun available.



I'll do this until the stash is pared down to a comfortable amount for me.

Interested? Send me an email at momwhoknits AT yahoo DOT com, with QUILT FABRIC SALE in the subject line, and let me know what you might like. I will reply with payment instructions (paypal only please). I will pack and ship as requests come in, so it will be quick!

I promise, these envelopes will be generously packed. I am looking to get rid of stash here, not make a fortune. If this goes well, I have even more specific items I will offer for sale, such as Nancy Halvorsen fabrics and patterns, larger cuts, and notions up the wazoo. This is just not the season of my life for a lot of sewing around here, and I'd much rather all this go to a good home where it will be used to decorate your home, dress your little girls' dollies, be made into quilts to warm your family, etc.

I hope to hear from you. :)

More Stuff!!





LAUREL BURCH Christmas fabrics - one panel, 23" X 44", and four 1-yard cuts of coordinating fabrics. Two are border prints. Unwashed, purchased several years ago at a quilt shop. I won't lie to you, I paid a lot for these. I believe it was $9 per yard for 5 pieces...do the math, then please do not tell my husband. Laurel Burch died in 2007, so there won't be more designs coming...these are some of her last fabrics.

I am offering all 5 pieces for $30, including the priority mail shipping.





ADVENT CALENDAR panel - these two photos show both sides of one folded piece of fabric. Directions are printed right on the side of the panel (on the left in the photo above). You will need to supply backing, batting and binding. This makes an absolutely adorable advent calendar!! I made one for Daughter a couple of years ago and we adore it. Because I am greedy, I bought two. Now one can be yours!

This is just one piece so I will stick it in a regular padded envelope. $5 includes first class shipping to the US.





PETER RABBIT panel, backing fabric, and extra fat quarter. Bought this to make for a friend's baby boy. He's in first grade now, I think. Woops!

The panel (34" X 39.5") and backing have been machine washed and dried. The fat quarter has not.

All three pieces $10 including priority shipping.

Just email me if interested! momwhoknits AT yahoo DOT com

More to come!

the start of holiday knitting

Dear This Week,

Please slow down so I can catch my breath. Thanks!

Love,
Me

***

Wow, whoa, hang on there! It's Friday already? I feel like I'm spinning in circles. Things got better after my wee breakdown the other morning, and the week was actually pretty fun. I didn't yell at my kids too much, the house is in relatively good condition even though I feel like I've done nothing, and I even had a friend over with her sons yesterday to bake Halloween cutout cookies. Not only that, but I managed to get Daughter signed up for a library activity next week (Barnyard Bash...stories, songs, and a craft! Whee!), for which I feel I deserve applause. Because I generally stink at that kind of stuff.

I've been working up an Etsy order, but before that I finished up a Christmas stocking to send to my sister.



It is from Christmas Stockings: Holiday Treasures to Knit, which, oh my goodness, would cost you about $120 to buy just now, wouldn't it? Wow! And I am going to go ahead and admit that I'm not even positive who gave this book to me. April, perhaps? I just know for sure I did not buy it, and I believe it came in a big, generous package of knitting books and patterns several years back.



I sent this one stocking to my sis along with the book so she can choose what she wants for herself, her new husband, and her future children.



Knitting a big ol' Christmas stocking is actually pretty satisfying. It goes quickly at a large gauge, is simple to execute, and once you're finished, there's no "second sock" problem.

I'm excited to see which stockings she chooses. They all look like fun to knit up!

And then, because I am not already drowning in yarn or anything, I ordered this:



Please, nobody tell Hubs.

(Sorry for the upside-down-ness of the yarns in the picture...I was working quickly to take the photo and stuff the whole shebang under the bed before anyone could see...)

Yes, it is the Knitpicks ornament kit. I do not even know what my problem is. I barely have time for the things I truly need to make, but this kit was simply irresistible to me. I have the idea in my head that it will come in handy for years, making a few ornaments at a time for people like therapists and teachers. I mean, the wee sweater ornament is the perfect size to hold a gift card! How could you go wrong?

Oh man, listen to me rationalize.

I'd better go finish up that etsy order.

the things that get to me

On Sunday we went grocery/general needs shopping as a family unit (never happens), so we could get something like 5 stops accomplished more quickly. If I go alone I can go fast, but then the kids are stuck watching TV all afternoon and AJ sits in the pack 'n play forever and ever. So we all went! Whee!

At the grocery store, the nice deli lady gestured to my two children and asked, "a slice of bologna for each?" I turned to Daughter and asked her if she'd like some and she said yes, so I said to the woman, "just one for her, please." And I didn't think much else of it. We had groceries to gather, after all.

But yesterday morning that moment came rushing back to me as I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, and before I could control myself a big, choking sob came from my throat and I cried hard. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was intense.

I don't know when or if my son will ever be able to eat a slice of bologna.

So like I said, there will be days when I navel gaze a bit and feel really, really lousy. Today is one of them.

rite of fall

I had hoped to have this quilt finished up over the weekend...but it's sitting under my sewing machine needle with just one seam quilted. AJ has decided that taking two naps each day no longer works for him, but he keeps switching back and forth between not sleeping in the morning, and not sleeping in the afternoon. I was able to get the quilt completely pieced and bordered Saturday night after everyone went to bed, but on Sunday afternoon when I tried to begin quilting it, my darling son kept standing up in the crib and hollering. I tried laying him back down several times, but to no avail. So...no quilt today.

We did have a great weekend, though. Saturday morning Daughter, AJ and I met up with my parents to go apple picking.


It was sunny but quite brisk, so we donned many handknits (total count: 4 pair socks, 4 hats, two sweaters, one pair mittens, one scarf, one baby afghan), and luckily I ran back into the house to grab extra fleece jackets just as we were about to leave! We wouldn't have lasted long without them.


We brought our little red wagon, but it turns out the farm has their own fleet! They tow one out behind the hay wagon as you ride to the orchards. It was so cool.


So many apples still on the trees. It was ridiculous.


We ate ourselves silly (it's ok, they tell you to!)


We went home with A LOT of apples.

It was simply...

little helper

I think I mentioned over the summer that I am trying hard to tackle the WIP problem. Yes, it is a real problem...so many projects I started and abandoned...so sad, really! It is starting to make me quite uncomfortable to have all these half-finished projects laying around. What a waste - of time, of materials, of my efforts.

I made these schoolhouses the winter before last, and was planning a bed-size quilt (as always...now ask me how many bed-size quilts I have actually made...) but the blocks are fiddly and I don't enjoy making them. So they got shoved in a pile and ignored. I think I will just take the 5 completed blocks, put them together with solid cream setting squares, and call it a wallhanging, yes?


Daughter helped me lay these out. Again...


And again...


And again.

In all she must have made every possible iteration of these 5 silly blocks. And I guess I must have said it first, otherwise I don't know where she would come up with it, but she kept saying, "I'm just not sure how this is going to work out with the red."

Oh, how I love her and love her and love her.

I think we'll need some sashing between those houses, though, don't you? Maybe red!

our first mother/daughter sewing project

It's funny how a child's interest in certain toys ebbs and flows, isn't it? Daughter has had a beautiful doll cradle, handmade almost 30 years ago by Hubs' grandfather, sitting in her room gathering dust for months. Yesterday she asked Hubs to bring it downstairs so she could put her baby to bed. (Interestingly, this baby has been at the bottom of the stuffed animal bin for ages as well.)

Hubs brought it down and it looked pretty sad and empty sitting there. Daughter looked at me and said, "it doesn't look very comfortable like that, does it?"

She was right. It did not.

So we set to work remedying the situation for babydoll. Daughter chose an old fat quarter and we cut 2 rectangles to size (18"X8"). She sat on my lap and guided the fabric as I pushed the sewing machine pedal. We stuffed it with two layers of cotton batting, and topstitched all the way around the edges. Then I cut two rectangles about 8"X6" to make the pillow, sewed them right sides together, turned it out into a little bag, and had Daughter stuff it full of polyfil. We stitched it closed together. Now we had a mattress and pillow! But wait, what about a blanket?

Off to the bag of leftover yarns! Daughter chose a soft pink wool-ease left over from a winter hat I made her several years ago. I chose this pattern (yes, it is for a dishtowel, but it is crocheted which means it is fast for me to do), and worked on it throughout the day. I finished up at 11:00 last night.



Voila! Doll bedding!


My understanding is that baby is resting quite comfortably. Bunny has also taken a nap in the cradle, but not Daughter's Beaker doll, because "Beaker doesn't care for cradles."

I love that kid.

3 scraps of paper

The other day, Daughter came downstairs first thing in the morning and went straight to the family room for her art supplies. She came back into the kitchen (where I was slouched over my first sips of morning coffee), and presented me with 3 scraps of construction paper, green, orange, and yellow, which I had placed in her art bin the day before. (We are trying to focus on not wasting things these days.)

She asked me if she could use them, and then asked what we could make with them. I think I said the colors reminded me of the changing leaves, and we were off to the races!

I slurped a bit more coffee and started free-handing some leaf shapes on the scraps. Daughter got her scissors and began to cut. Before long we had dozens of little paper leaves.



I suggested we draw a tree trunk on construction paper and paste them on to make a fall tree decoration, but no, that was way too static an idea for Daughter. Over the course of the morning those paper leaves were petals thrown at a pretend wedding, leaves falling from trees, gifts for her brother, daddy, and me, and finally food for a bunny.



Bunny liked the green ones just fine.



But she liked the orange ones better.



Then Bunny got tired of eating one at a time and went for the whole plate.

I couldn't believe how much creative play we got out of 3 scraps of construction paper.

baking day

"Fold in the sides,
pull it towards me,
kneeeeeeead it, kneeeeeeeeead it..."



"Fold in the sides,
Pull it towards me,
kneeeeeeeeead it, kneeeeeeeead it..."



Oatmeal bread! Mine on the left of the photo, Daughter's on the right. Not bad considering I did not help her!



We try to cook or bake together several times each week. I like to make things with her that don't require super-precise measuring, so she can do a lot herself and it won't come out "wrong." Bread is great for that!

why not homeschool?

Thanks for the nice comments on my last post (re: creative and messy). My dear friend Karen left a comment asking me why not homeschool Daughter, since we are doing well now?

Indeed, why not?

There are so many issues tied up in that little question, I hardly know where to start. First I should say that I don't plan to homeschool her. I am doing so now because I didn't find an affordable program that I liked enough to fork over the money. The ONLY thing I wanted for Daughter that she is not getting enough of at home is social interaction with other kids her age. I still wish we could get together with more kids, but it is so hard. I took her to her swimming lesson this weekend and in the car she told me she hoped her friend would be there - Isabella, the girl she met for the first time last weekend. The poor child is so hungry for friends, and so outgoing. It breaks my heart not to be able to provide that to her. So that is the first reason she is going to school next year.

The second reason is the fact that we moved here, to Expensive-ville, just so she could attend the public schools. They are known to be excellent, and Hubs and I went through this district, so we know what we're getting. It is mostly what we want. But I am so, so torn about surrendering her to those schools 11 months from now. She is so creative and sweet and generous and trusting and wonderful...it kills me to think she will lose a lot of that the minute she steps on the bus for the first time.

Now, if I had my druthers, I'd send my sweet, creative child to our "local" Waldorf school. I think. Well, I'm not sure, exactly, but I probably would! How's that for being clear as mud?

I just finished reading You Are Your Child's First Teacher, and I must recommend that you all run to the library and read it immediately. If you already have children, if you are planning to have more, or if you haven't had any yet, go get this book! I will admit, and I will warn, that it is a bit on the "hippy-dippy" side, but the insights the author provides into raising small children and encouraging their natural learning are so, so inspiring. She also manages to distill Rudolf Steiner's work down into understandable concepts and explain the basics of Waldorf education without overwhelming the reader.

We have only one Waldorf school in Western New York, and it is a solid 45 minutes away from our home in good weather, plus it costs mucho dinero to go there, so it's not going to happen. But I'm rapidly falling in love with the concepts embraced by the Waldorf system, such as soft colors, curved surfaces, picture-based learning, music and movement, and a real emphasis on teaching the whole child. The kindergartens are true to the name - a child's garden of play, and academic concepts are not emphasized until "the changing of teeth" which is a weird-sounding way of saying 7 or 8 years old. What we consider 1st or 2nd grade in our public-school universe is where academics begin in the Waldorf program. The major emphasis before that age is allowing the child's energy to be devoted to physical growth, development, and maturity.

Now, I am no expert on Steiner or Waldorf; I only know what I have read and it isn't much. But it makes so much sense! I'm cringing at the thought of my exceptionally bright daughter, who was reading the newspaper to me this morning, sitting in a hard chair at a desk or table with other 5 year-olds, being given a stupid worksheet with the letter G on it, having to circle the things that start with G and color them in. BORING! She will be told to be quiet, to get in line, to follow directions, to listen for a bell that signals when she can and cannot get up and move.

And I am so torn.

Part of me supports the logical argument that this is America in 2009 and kids need to learn and study and get ahead. The world is not a hippy-dippy place and Daughter will have to be the best to get into the school of her choice and build a career. But a part of me says "eff that!" and wants her to have her childhood, for as long as possible!

I have my arguments with the book and with some of the ideas. I don't know if I would get rid of the television entirely, or take away all computer privileges, or dump every single toy that isn't wooden/natural and handmade, or burn all the clothes that aren't made of 100% natural fibers. That would never fly in my household, anyway, since my husband spends most of his time with one eyeball on the tv and one on his computer. Plus I don't want to raise my kid to be the weird outcast whose mom won't let her have any "junk food" in her lunch and who never heard of Disney. A large part of that is also our community, I guess. We now live in an area that I think of as being very "hard," meaning, I guess, very professional and fast-paced and cold. The school systems are designed to groom little investment bankers, not particularly well-rounded, happy, well-adjusted kids. Like I said, the Waldorf school is out in the boondocks 45 minutes from here. There's no Hanna Andersson store here (much to my dismay), for natural soft clothing. People work, moms don't generally stay home, and if they do it is so they can go to the gym, and go get their nails and hair done, not so they can do homeschool-y stuff with their kids. I'm not saying those families don't exist, but they are not the norm, whereas in some parts of the country you can actually find multiple alternative education schools and entire communities that embrace those values.

So I have all this stuff churning around in my head. I will probably have more to say about it in future posts as I continue my mothering journey and strive to guide my babies in what I hope and pray is the right direction. Have any of you read the book I am talking about? Do you send your children to the local public school? How do you feel about it? Are your children in an alternative-education environment? Are you happy?

Are your children happy?

creative home

I have been trying very, very hard to avoid turning on the television before lunchtime. I have been in the throes of some kind of depression for many years now, and combined with pregnancies, that has led me to plop my kid(s) in front of the tube waaaaaayyyyy too much. It's also a selfish and unfair way to buy myself time.

So now, in the mornings, we all have breakfast together in the kitchen (imagine!), while listening to the morning news on NPR, and I quickly check my email, facebook, and 3 or 4 favorite blogs. If Daughter finishes quickly, she can play with toys or do some coloring while waiting for AJ to finish. Then we go into the family room together and play with the dollhouse or some other creative-play item.

At 9:30 or 9:45 AJ goes up for morning nap, and it is "homeschool" time for Daughter. I will have more to say about that in the future, but for now I'll share that we are using Kumon workbooks to practice simple addition, long vowel sounds/printing, cutting, and pasting. When we finish that (usually takes about an hour), we move on to some kind of craft. I try to let Daughter direct what we will do, but some days I have to take the lead.

Today we made a Halloween mobile to hang on our front door. So if you come by, you'll be greeted by these guys:



I have trouble putting aside my OCD when it comes to a neat and organized home, because when we're done, this is what the kitchen table looks like:



Morning coffee cup, current and future knitting project, hole punches, scissors, construction paper scraps, glue, crayons, pencils, workbooks...

It's a bit of a disaster, really, but it's a creative disaster.

never not knitting

Since I haven't posted much interesting visual content in a long while, I thought I'd throw up some knitting today.



My sister got married last summer, and asked for some Christmas stockings. I was originally going to sew them, but my sewing mojo is missing in action these days. I'm more into knitting at this time of year...feel it right in my bones, actually, can't stop! So I am knitting up a sample stocking from an ancient skein of Fisherman's Wool I had in my stash (you can tell how old it is by the label). I bought this yarn several years ago when I was into dyeing with kool-aid and Rit, but I lost interest and a couple skeins have been sitting around.

So: Christmas gifting AND stashbusting in one. Sounds good to me.

new leaf

Oh hello there! Aaaaaaaand another month has gone by. September did its best to beat the life out of me (15 medical appointments, holy crap), and I am kind of feeling like I'm on life support right now, but I survived!

Unfortunately part of surviving was jettisoning unnecessary activities, and blogging sort of falls under that category.

Now that we are heading into a new month I'm trying to take control of this crazy train and steer it in a new direction. It is hard, oh so hard, but like it or not, I'm in the driver's seat. I need to put aside my feelings of inadequacy and victimization and sadness and try harder to be the best mom/wife/runner-of-the-household that I can be. That doesn't mean I won't have my days when I curl up in the fetal position and weep pitifully because my son won't eat, but it does mean I will get my butt into bed earlier at night and knit or read to calm down, then get a good night of sleep. I will rise earlier, get showered and dressed, and run the morning efficiently so we don't find ourselves still in pajamas at noon, zoned out in front of the TV, surrounded by dirty dishes and a messy house, and scrambling to prepare for a therapist's arrival. That just results in a lot of yelling and misery. Fall is lovely, and we will spend as much of it "out there" as we can, but hot on the heels of fall is a miserable Buffalo winter. I need to try to get a good rhythm going around here if it's to be at all bearable.

So! Onward!

AJ had a lovely birthday (which feels like it was just yesterday...people ask his age and I say he is one, but in two days it will be 13 months!) and received lots of snuggly winter clothes. Unfortunately it is all 18-24 months, so I am scrambling to put together some warmth for the near future without really spending much. Hello knitting needles! I have knitted long johns planned...oh look, there's the yarn and directions staring me in the face. He is currently wearing the little knitted pants my mom made last year:



and I got her to knit him another pair in the next size. I have another sweater I made for him that still needs buttons, so I'll get that together and post some photos soon.

Daughter has started swimming lessons, is reading and writing well above her age level, and has just about mastered adding 1. We will soon move to adding 2 in our homeschool repertoire. She is cutting and gluing beautifully, and her creativity is blossoming. Oh, how I wish I did not have to surrender her to the clutches of public school next year. Much, much more about that to come in future posts.

One of my new goals, which I hope to achieve through my new plan of being more efficient and organized, is to find those moments in the day where I can use my creativity. Some of the reading I've been doing lately describes creative endeavors as "meditation" for busy moms, and I could use that. If I keep up with things throughout the day, and don't end up with a huge pile of mess to clean up at naptime, I can use that time for myself. More happiness for everyone!

Along those lines, I have the very beginnings of a quilt started for my son:



Right now the poor kid is sleeping under his sister's baby quilt. And though we have no shortage of blankets and quilts around here, the boy should have his own. This is the most masculine fabric collection I could find in my stash, and I think it will work. All I had were fat quarters, so I will have to pull one of the solid colors to make borders and hopefully curtains/throw pillows/etc. to go with. Right now his bedroom is awfully sparsely furnished (crib, changing table, small side table with lamp) so one of my winter goals is to make it much nicer for him (at least I'd like to get a rug in there).

I have to much on my mind, and so many posts semi-composed in my head. But right now the kids are fighting over the dollhouse and the OT arrives shortly so I have to go prepare. At least the breakfast dishes are done...

8 years ago

The thing I will always remember is the terrifically blue sky. I never saw such a gorgeous day.

Blessings to the families and friends of the lost on this day.

ONE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AJ!!!

We made it to one, big boy! The past 12 months have felt kind of like 12 years, but you are worth every second of it.

If we had known then what you would be today, well, as Daddy said last night..."we would have gotten a lot more sleep." Happy, happy birthday, my sweet, amazing boy.

stream of consciousness

Sometimes I feel like I'm not very good at this job.

I mean, I know I am pretty proficient at the tasks associated with mothering small children. My kids are clean (most of the time), their clothes are clean and pressed, their beds get made, their teeth get brushed, they are served warm, healthy meals. I make medical and dental appointments and take the children to them, and I usually even remember to take something along to keep them occupied in the waiting room. They have safe car seats, lots of toys, limited exposure to television (other than PBS), and are encouraged to use their minds and hands creatively.

It's the other stuff I'm not sure about. The stuff that makes me feel like I'm not old enough to handle this job - things like calling up a neighbor or ringing a doorbell to ask if their little girl(s) would like to play with Daughter. I am not about to send my own child into the home of someone I've only just met, nor do I expect one of them to send their child(ren) here to play. But I can't sit outside all afternoon to keep an eye on Daughter and one or more children, either, because of AJ's schedule and needs. We don't have a sandbox or swingset yet, nor do our next-door neighbors (who have a 5 year-old girl). I'm not even that good at making friends for myself...how do I help my Daughter to do so?

I can't even get us off the stupid couch in the morning. How's that for sad? We're prone to slouching around in our pajamas for several hours because AJ has to complete his feeding and then take a nap anyway, so it's not like we're going to go out.

I don't have a whole lot of energy. I tend to get my tasks done and then don't feel like doing much.

And I just sort of always feel like there's something I don't know, but the other moms do. Like I'm...behind, or something. Am I the only one? No matter who is around, I feel young and inexperienced and left out. Is there some secret to feeling like a confident mom? If there is I certainly don't know it. There are times when I sit on the couch and look at my kids and think, what am I supposed to be doing with these children?

We have a playdate scheduled for next week with a girl I went to high school with. We weren't super-best friends, but that was a long time ago. I'm actually quite excited about this - getting out of the house! Talking to someone my age! Having a kid for Daughter to interact with! (He is 2 and 1/2 but that's better than nothing.)

I read a lot of what I call "pretty blogs." They are the blogs of the moms who have a really nice camera and they seem always to be capturing the beauty in life. With their kids! And often their husbands! And I am so, so, so jealous of them. I have major lifestyle envy when I read and look at their lovely photos. These women are my age, or often even a bit younger, and many of them have more children than I do, but they seem to have it so...together. And I realize that a blog post is just a snapshot, in the same way that a photo spread in Better Homes & Gardens magazine is not truly what anyone's house looks like, but still...in the aggregate? These women have prettier lives than I do and I am jealous! I want to take my kids out to the places I see on the pretty blogs. I want to pick fruit with my kids, and cut flowers to put in mason jars, and sew adorable useful items out of vintage linens, and bake bread and go hiking and camping and get together with my like-minded bloggy friends and HAVE A PRETTY LIFE, DAMMIT! (Except for that camping part...don't know why I said that, because I never want to go camping.)

The point is that they DO STUFF. With their kids. Their well-adjusted, active, curious kids. I don't get the impression they sit around all morning watching PBS. Or maybe they do! After all, a blog is just a snapshot. Right?

I could do all this stuff, I guess. I could. I just don't know exactly how to go about it. My son puts me in an interesting and awkward position. He's a year old tomorrow...starting to push back against morning nap, so yesterday we blew it off to run some errands. By early afternoon he was a wreck, his therapy session was useless, and he crashed for almost 4 hours. Feeding him, as I've mentioned, is a bit of a task and not an easy thing to do outside of our home, and frankly, we have to be home every afternoon because of therapy. How do I make us a prettier life? How do I get us UP and OUT?

I keep telling myself "next summer" - AJ will be 18 months+, walking, I assume, and will need fewer naps and hopefully less therapy. But next summer is next summer. It is not now. This precious time with my little girl is fleeting, and it is going by so fast. I am keeping her home with me this winter, and I fear it will become just wasted time if I'm not very, very careful.

What to do? What to do?

I have to get myself up. I have to turn off the TV. I have to do this. Just not sure how.

week's end

Whew! Finally, the end of a busy week.

Yesterday I took AJ back to the hospital for a swallow study - a barium contrast xray of food actually being eaten - so we could find out if there is anything structurally wrong with his mouth, throat, or esophagus. The speech pathologist administering the test mixed barium with a tiny taste of baby food and I had to try to feed it to AJ.

HA! Try getting a baby to eat a smidgen of puree drowned in barium. Go ahead, try it!

Thankfully he was able to get enough down that it was a good study. We could clearly see the little blob of food go from his lips back to the throat and whoomp! down the hatch. Quite fascinating, really. We could see that there is no structural problem (thank God) but there IS a significant delay in transit time for the food going from his lips to his throat. In other words, he holds it in his mouth too long, and has trouble working it backward efficiently.

I choose to take this as excellent news. This means his problem appears to be oral-motor related and NOT structural, which means (I think) that it is possible he will outgrow it as he gets bigger and stronger. I am making that all up - no doctor has analyzed the test - but it makes sense to me.

We are currently at about 2 tablespoons of food per lunch and dinner feeding, which is a vast improvement from zero food, obviously. Do I wish he was inhaling jar after jar, or eating grilled cheese sandwiches like his sister was at this age? Of course. Definitely. But I'll take these little victories.

Today is a completely free day. No appointments, no therapies, no obligations. My parents are picking Daughter up in a couple hours to take her on an adventure for the day. It will be just me and my little boy, and he takes two nice naps, so for awhile, it will be just me! I'm going to enjoy a nice quiet house, hit the craft store for a couple supplies I need, and spend some time cleaning up and doing some projects.

I took some photos of my central park hoodie being blocked, but they came out all glare-y and yellow, so I need to edit them before posting. That's coming soon, as well as an adorable cabled sweater I'm just finishing up for AJ. I really should put down the needles and endeavor to get more rest, but it's all the therapy I've got...

Oh, and did I mention he's walking around the playpen?

i'm being eaten by a boa constrictor

Ok, so not a boa constrictor, exactly...but I am pretty sure the month of September is going to swallow me whole. We have a minimum of two medical appointments each week of the month, with 4 - count 'em, 4 - appointments this week, just to finish out August. Wheeeeeee! My car knows the way to the hospital all by itself at this point.

It's not my fault, really. The surgical follow-up appointments have to be made, so if there are any problems they can be addressed (we don't think there are any problems, though).

Both kids have to be seen by our new pediatrician as well patients before they can be seen as sick patients, and with fall/flu season approaching, I thought it best to get that out of the way now. Otherwise I have to drive 45 minutes to get them to the old pediatrician if they get sick - no thanks.

AJ has to have a hearing test at 1 year of age, which is NEXT WEEK OMG WHAT HAPPENED MY BABY IS ONE!!!

AJ also has to have a swallow study (a barium contrast xray) so we can hopefully find out why on earth he can't drink liquids without choking, and why he won't eat more than a few mouthfuls of food.

We ALL have to go to the dentist (Daughter for the 1st time ever, Hubs and I because we blew it off for the past year due to general craziness of life), which was yesterday and today.

Aaaaaand, I have a cavity. See above point re: blowing off regular dental visits for a year. Dammit. So there's another appointment.

Pretty sure there are a couple more in there...an endocrinologist visit for me (thyroid), a life insurance exam for Hubs, etc, etc. The good news is we are dropping one day of therapy for AJ because he is doing so well with gross motor. The bad news is we'll hardly feel that schedule change till October, when we will be able to pause and breathe again.

The other bad news is that we are detecting a barely perceptible weakness on AJ's right side - he favors his left hand and foot, has a much worse time with his right ear (though tubes were reinserted on Friday and he is happy and singing again), and now we've been told he has slight strabismus of the right eye (aka lazy eye). Again, these are barely noticeable to outside observers, but unfortunately the problem is definitely there and that means...more appointments. Now we've been referred to a pediatric opthamologist. I'm waiting on that, though, till his 1-year physical in a few weeks. I want to see what our new pediatrician says before I go making more appointments. The problem may not be bad enough to require patching of the other eye. Let's pray that it isn't, hmmmm? I can't imagine trying to get him to keep a patch on his face.

So.

Busy. But overall things are mostly good. A few bumps in our road, but we are getting used to that and can roll with it much more easily these days.

I have a big bag of knitting wips that are screaming for my attention, and a pile of semi-completed sewing that is equally loud. I want to sit down and finish some stuff, and then blog that stuff because that's fun, but we'll have to see how the next few weeks go. We also want to get to the playground as much as we can (Daughter really gets the short end of the stick during these busy stretches), and enjoy yummy summer farmstand foods, go out for ice cream, and soak in the end of summer.

Right now it's one day - no, make that one hour - at a time. Lots of lists, lots of careful planning. Time for lunch. Let's get through that and then see what happens!

rug braiding?

Anyone ever tried making braided rugs? There's a kit you can buy - I've only ever seen it offered from Herrschner's - that represents a fairly small investment (probably around $20 after shipping and whatnot). I have so much fabric in relatively small amounts, and I'm so tired of looking at it!

I'm wondering if making braided throw rugs might be a good way to use up some of the old fabrics I've had in stash for years and years. I keep thinking I will make it into quilts, but realistically, after 10 years of hanging on to some of it, I truly don't even want it anymore. I'm bored with my stash, and besides, I don't want all my quilts to look the same. I'd rather go to the fabric store when I have a project in mind and carefully select fabrics. But I definitely don't want to waste what I already have.

So I'm thinking braided rugs. It appeals to my Ma Ingalls sensibilities. Use what you have for what you need, right? Or am I nuts? Anyone tried it? Is it awesome? Does it suck?

warm, continued

Sure, it's in the high 80s and humid...so I just park it in front of the AC and knit on. Winter is coming...


More socks for Daughter.

This is Joann "Sensations" sock yarn; a new style called "Bamboo and Ewe." Knitting it up was simply delightful. It is very, very soft, which may be a lousy feature of sock yarn. It gets lots of wear and rubbing inside of shoes, and I fear it may pill. Time will tell. I bought this colorway (don't know the name and I chucked the label, oops), and solid red, because I have not been able to find a solid, basic red sock yarn anywhere. I think it is priced at $5.99, so with a coupon it's not a bad deal at all.

I started these with 52 stitches on size 2 needles, but after turning the heel, I decreased down to 48 stitches for Daughter's narrow feet. The last pair I made was a bit baggy in the foot.

I started another pair of socks for her immediately, but my hands are tired of tiny needles at the moment. I also cast on for a sweater for AJ, using odds and ends of Paton's Classic Merino. I'm thinking stripes. We'll see what happens...I have so many ideas for sweaters and accessories I want to knit up for both of my children. I am running out of time for some as these kids grow like weeds! I have already missed out on several patterns for Daughter because I simply waited too long and she is too big.

Must. Knit. Faster!