Tuesday, October 13, 2009

the things that get to me

On Sunday we went grocery/general needs shopping as a family unit (never happens), so we could get something like 5 stops accomplished more quickly. If I go alone I can go fast, but then the kids are stuck watching TV all afternoon and AJ sits in the pack 'n play forever and ever. So we all went! Whee!

At the grocery store, the nice deli lady gestured to my two children and asked, "a slice of bologna for each?" I turned to Daughter and asked her if she'd like some and she said yes, so I said to the woman, "just one for her, please." And I didn't think much else of it. We had groceries to gather, after all.

But yesterday morning that moment came rushing back to me as I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, and before I could control myself a big, choking sob came from my throat and I cried hard. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was intense.

I don't know when or if my son will ever be able to eat a slice of bologna.

So like I said, there will be days when I navel gaze a bit and feel really, really lousy. Today is one of them.


Pam said...

I love the term "nazel gaze"!

So just for today - here's to nazel gazing as I too am having one of those days. Keep up the good fight Kate:)

Ruth said...

I understand. I really, really, do. Isn't it odd how the simplest thing can trigger a reaction?

Hoping today is a better day.