bargains for baby

So in light of the relatively positive news we received yesterday morning, I went and did a little shopping. It turns out we are drowning in newborn clothing (I was given 2 showers while pregnant with Daughter - one fam/friends and one with work people) but it is all white/yellow/green and primarily duck-themed, which I guess was the thing in Spring 2005. We did not know for sure that Daughter was a girl, thus all the unisex clothing.

It just so happens that Babies R Us and Toys R Us are having a really good sale right now. Gerber layette items and lots of Carter's clothing are an extra 20% off the already marked-down price. Do check it out if you are in need of baby items as you will score some major bargains. I got a few blue wee side-snap shirts, onesies, cotton mitts (to keep the child from scratching himself) and little knit pants. All that Gerber stuff was way cheap (less than $10 for everything). Then as I was at the checkout, I spied some Converse boxes in a bin with a clearance sign.

I must quickly state that I adore Converse All-Stars and have owned at least one pair at any given time since I was in 5th grade. Daughter has owned, I think, 4 pair already in her 3 years, starting with toddler size 4. I am keeping the brown pair and the white pair for baby brother, but the pink high-tops and the black high-tops with pink tongue will go to someone else's little girl someday.

Anyway, in light of my deep affection for these shoes, I sprinted to the clearance bin. People. Listen to this. They had 4 pairs of these sneakers. Black high-tops in size 8 - snatched those up for Daughter as she is just getting into size 8 right now and these sneaks run quite big. Red high-tops in size 5 - snatched those for baby brother. Black high-tops in size 5 - ditto. (The last box contained one more pair of black h-t in size 5 but obviously I don't need 2 pairs the same.)

Guess how much they were? The clearance sticker said $2.00. TWO DOLLARS. For twenty-dollar shoes!!!


BUT WAIT!

When the girl scanned them at the checkout, they were also part of the additional 20% off clearance sale.

I GOT THEM ALL FOR $1.60 EACH.

Some people might not put their little girl in black high-top sneakers. But I sure will. Especially for $1.60.

So awesome.

"this baby looks good"

The specialist said many things this morning, but what I keep hearing in my head is "this baby looks good."

And he does! Plump little cheeks, sweet tiny feet, all the parts where they should be. He is in breech position right now, which will hopefully change over the next couple of months, but right now I'm actually enjoying it because there are no little feet jammed up under my ribcage. He is measuring right on for gestational age (a few days ahead, in fact) and at an estimated 3 lbs, 12 oz he is right smack in the 50th percentile for size.

As of today, there are no detectable problems. I've been asked to come back each week from now until delivery for biophysical profiles - a fancy way of saying a sono and a non-stress test. According to the perinatologist they can often detect problems that way before the baby is in serious distress, so that's what we're going to do. But as of right now, well, the baby looks good.

Thank you for your continued prayers as we make our way through these final weeks.

checking in

All is well. Been away from the house (and therefore computer) all week, so no posts. :(

Super-duper sonogram at the hospital tomorrow morning.

More to come.

my baby knows kung fu

You all have seen The Matrix, right? (Shut up, you so have...either you watched it because you wanted to or your husband/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/kooky buddy made you.)

Anyway, you know how Keanu Reeves gets plugged in and they download all that martial arts stuff into him and then he wakes up? And then he says, in that way only Keanu can, "I know kung fu."

It's a total Ted "Theodore" Logan moment in the middle of a much more sophisticated movie and it cracks me up every time I see it. And now I crack myself up because every time this baby pummels the crap out of my insides (and he does, oh how he does...my other two were languid stretchers but not this one), I give my husband my best blank-faced Keanu look and use my best wonder-filled Keanu voice to say, "my baby knows kung fu."

Hmmmm. Re-reading that, I guess I am probably the only one who finds it side-splittingly funny. Oh well.

belated birthday gift

It's only 60 degrees today, which means it is cool enough for me to sew. The upstairs room in our house (it's a 1.5 story) tends to be 900 degrees all the time and is therefore not usable much of the time. Even with the windows open at both ends of the room the temperature hovers around "surface of the sun." On a nice cooler day like this it's ok, and in the winter I can sew up there with all the windows open - I'm not even kidding about that. Something in the construction is waaaayyyy wrong up there.

Anyway, I started a birthday gift for my youngest sister last month, and intended to have it finished long before now. I got the embroidery done but then it became too warm to sew upstairs and the project languished.

Finished it up today:



These are standard pillowcases with a monogram, trimmed in blue batik. That strip is actually a folded piece, so it's kind of 3-dimensional. I used french seams throughout because my serger is not cooperating, so these took awhile, but the pattern is awesome and they always come out perfect (I have made lots as gifts...really fun in novelty prints).

Yes, you can still see the embroidery hoop impression - the pencil markings I used to mark the center for the design also show, so I will wash, dry, and press these before sending them off. But at least they are done!

I had this dumb idea in late winter/early spring that I needed to load myself up with projects to make my pregnancy go by faster and keep me occupied. It would be embarrassing to actually list all the things I thought I would accomplish this summer. With only 10 weeks or so left, I can see that I will quickly run out of time before anything actually gets done. Hopefully this is the last of the handmade gifts that need making and I can just shelve all the lofty goals I had, focusing on a few relaxing items for the next two months.

big girl bed

Well hello there! Where did another week go?

Actually, I know exactly where the week went. Last Monday Daughter's Big Girl Bed was delivered. We shopped around and discovered that we could get the best combination of price and quality by ordering the same bed we recently purchased for ourselves (but in a twin size). This is the platform portion, and this is the mattress. We have the exact same thing for ourselves but in queen size, and I cannot recommend these beds highly enough. Great price, super comfortable, fast shipping, and easy to assemble.

So we put the bed together the day it arrived, rearranged the room to accommodate it, and pretty much told Daughter the crib is now off-limits. I know it sounds really weird that we had to do that, but we have the one kid in the universe who never once attempted to climb out of the crib, and in fact has been quite happy in there for 3+ years. So we had to kind of insist that she use the big girl bed now (with a rail, and pushed against the wall for safety and security). In order to make it happen, I have had to lay there with her, chatting, rubbing her back, and singing to her. Hubs also comes in to sing some songs and make her feel comfortable.

She hates it.

At least she says she does. She keeps asking to sleep in the baby bed, but we have now told her about her baby brother and that we will eventually be needing to 'share' the baby bed with him, and now she is a big girl of 3, and big girls who are 3 sleep in big girl beds, etc, etc. So it's going ok, and though I have been laying there for less and less time each night, I still do have to snuggle with her a bit so she will not feel scared or uncomfortable.

That is not the real issue, though. The real issue is that she has figured out she can get out of bed herself now, and she has been doing so...earlier and earlier each morning.

Look, I try to keep it real on the blog, and I try to always be honest, so I will go ahead and admit that my family routinely gets out of bed between 8 and 8:30 each morning. I know that is ridiculously late to most of you, but Hubs works a later schedule than his boss so they can cover the whole office day, meaning his boss goes in at the crack of dawn, and Hubs rolls in between 9 and 10 but stays later in the evening. This is the schedule that Daughter really set when she started sleeping through the night, and it's been just fine with us for 3 years. She would always hang out in her crib, talking to her stuffed animals or whatever, until we came for her, and often would be just opening her eyes at 8 or 8:15.

Now, for reasons I cannot understand, she is waking up super duper freaking early. It started a few nights into the big girl bed experience...first it was 7:25, and I took that shift, then it was 7:01 yesterday morning, which Hubs took on, and today? Today it was 6:30. In the A.M. I haven't seen that hour since Daughter was a nursing infant, and I have been very happy with that situation. I made her get into bed with me for a half-hour, because what am I going to do with her at 6:30?!? I even pointed to the alarm clock (useless device these days) and showed her that the '6' means it's too early to get up. We had to wait for it to be a '7'.

Now I know well-meaning folks will suggest that we close her door (nope, she can open doors), or put a gate in the doorway, or just tell her to stay in her bed until we get her. Well HAHAHA, don't you think we've tried that sort of thing? The problem is she wakes up frightened to be in a dark-ish quiet house, and when she appears next to the bed, and I suggest she go back to her bed for awhile or even come into our bed, she quite literally bursts into tears, telling me the sun is up, it's not time for sleeping anymore. She begs us to please, please wake up now, and what are we supposed to do with that? Our bedrooms are on the first floor, and I can't have her just wandering out into the rest of the house alone...so we do want her to come wake us up. We just wish it wasn't so blessed early. This morning I told Hubs it won't be long till we're getting up at 4 a.m., like old people.

Oh wait, pretty soon I WILL be getting up at 4 a.m. And 3 a.m. And 2 a.m. and every hour of every day because hello, I am having a baby in, like, ten weeks. Aaaaaak! Maybe this is just Daughter's way of helpfully preparing me to be awakened from a lovely sleep on a near-constant basis. Woo hoo.

Anyway, I am not really looking for solutions here, because we don't really think there are any. I am just hoping she acclimates a bit better to the new bed and sleeps in a bit more once she is more comfortable, but whatever. If she doesn't, she doesn't. Our awesome sleep schedule couldn't last forever, I guess.

But it is my excuse for being away from the blog for a week. I've just been tired and pouring lots of energy into these bed issues (and also lots of cleaning...summer in an ooooooold house in the woods means extra vigilance about bugs 'n stuff, which requires a lot of constant wiping/laundering/mopping/etc). I continue to slog through the end of the blue shawl - 10 rounds to go, but at 1320 stitches per round, it is slow going. One or two rounds per day at best. Today is a nice, cool day, so perhaps some sewing will take place during naptime and I will have something new to show tomorrow.

heat wave

Whew! Those of you who have central air, count your blessings. It's a not-so-balmy 90 degrees here today and, of course, it is humid. That's how Buffalo works, peeps. A week ago we took Daughter to the doctor in a wool sweater, and now...yikes. IT IS WARM.

We made it through our crazy weekend of events, and my poor feet are recovering from being squished into heels (low though they were) for three days in hot weather. I'm glad it's all over, and all the events were lovely, but I find that I am feeling somewhat lonely today after all that socializing.

Anyway, it is too hot to do much other than sit still near the window A/C, so I did all the chores I could very early before it got too gross (though it was 85 when we got up so whatever), and now I'm spending naptime with my shawl.


The color is so inaccurate here - I couldn't find a place to take a photo where the color would be right. It's more of a dark, dusty denim blue. So pretty.

I'm about to begin row 164 of 189, and am almost done with my third ball of yarn. Having looked this shawl up on Ravelry (there are over 100!!!), I see that people used between 4 and 5 hanks of Knitpicks Alpaca Cloud, so I should be ok with my 5. Amazing that only 25 more rounds will likely take close to 880 more yards of yarn!

I am still in love with working on this, despite the repetitiveness of the pattern. Or maybe that's exactly why I'm loving it. At 28 weeks pregnant, I can't help but feel the "witching hour" is approaching, as we lost our baby girl between 30 and 31 weeks. There are many, many silent prayers worked into this shawl, let me tell you.

I was hoping to finish it up in time to present it to my sister at her wedding shower yesterday, but last week my hands and wrists were cramping terribly as I knit, so I had to put it aside for several days. I'd like to either give or lend it to her as her "something blue" for her wedding day. Even though it will be August, the church and reception are air conditioned, so she may need a little something for her shoulders. We'll see if I can get it done and blocked by then.

Laid out sideways, it reminds me of a squid:



Back to my A/C and 1176 stitches per round...so soothing.

some like it hot

I swear that a week ago we had the heat on in the house.

Now we have traded in sweaters for sunblock. It's a lovely, breezy, 82 degrees, perfect for playing outside and hanging clothes on the line. I spent the morning scrubbing the house and doing laundry and will spend the afternoon doing so as well, but we took an hour out to play in the sun.

Picking bouquets:

My daughter, Leggy McLeggersons

We have a very zany weekend coming up (thus all the cleaning today), so I'm signing off till next week. Tomorrow Daughter and I will attend a fancy birthday dinner while Hubs attends a wedding rehearsal and dinner, then on Saturday we will all attend the wedding for which he is rehearsing, and on Sunday I'll be heading to my sister's wedding shower. Ay-yi-yi. Somewhere in there we have to mow the lawn, grocery shop, and, you know, sleep.

We're expecting a beautiful weekend in the 80s - here's hoping it's nice where you are too!

bad girl

So our budget is pretty tight these days, and I've been doing so well with careful grocery shopping, and I'm making our dressy clothes for the summer, etc......but I got caught off-guard this morning. We went to Joann's to get a piece of fabric for Daughter's flower girl dress sash, and some red clearance tags in the yarn section caught my eye.

I know, I know...I need more yarn like I need a hole in the head.

Here's what I got:

7 skeins winter white Patons Decor (75% acrylic/25% wool, worsted weight)
1 skein black Lion Baby Soft (acrylic, sport weight)
3 skeins sage Lion Wool (100% wool, worsted weight)
1 skein bright Patons Astra (acrylic, sport weight)
1 ball pink DMC crochet cotton

Here's why:

Can you read that? All of those yarns were 97 cents each. Except the pink crochet cotton. That was 50 cents. Gosh, it was like Joann's was having a garage sale! How could I leave these good basics behind? I wouldn't have bought the Astra in those bright colors but Daughter went bananas over it and she could use a new hat to match her red winter coat, so whatever. She is worth 97 cents.

I actually left quite a bit of 97-cent yarn in the bins. They had lots of Lion Wool but in colors I did not like (an ugly gray, a very weird red), and I struggled to only buy things I know I will make good use of. Now I must fight the urge to go to any of the other 3 Joann stores in our area to look for more cheap yarn! Nah, I won't. My urge to purchase has been well and truly satiated and I'm back on track for savings. We just ordered Daughter's big-girl bed and I'm determined to SAVE the rest of our stimulus check.

there but for the grace of God go I

Thank you for bearing with me through that last post. It was a rough weekend. Sometimes Hubs and I do not work in tandem and there were a few days there where I felt we were just at odds, especially in the parenting department. We farmed Daughter out to Grandma and Papa on Sunday night because I had an early MD appointment in the city on Monday, and the break did us all good. This morning she was actually quite agreeable and we all seem to be back on track. Mostly.

Speaking of this morning, as if I don't have enough on my plate, we got to pay a visit to the premier pediatric cardiologist in our area. At Daughter's 3 year well-check the doctor thought she detected a slight abnormality in her heart rate. It was around 120 bpm at rest, which she thought was high. We went for bloodwork (which came back normal) and then had an EKG done at the pediatrician's office. This showed a very tiny blip before each beat, indicating the possibility of a problem. So they sent us to this pediatric cardiologist.

I must say upfront that Daughter is perfectly fine. The doctor said she has a beautiful heart and he sees no problem at all. The pediatrician was just erring on the side of caution and that's fine with us - and thank goodness for good medical insurance. She had another EKG and an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) this morning and I can't imagine how much that costs. We will have to pay a bit, but insurance will cover the majority of it.

I will tell you all this much: if you are lucky enough, as we are, to have been blessed with a healthy child (or children), be thankful. I have been in silent communication with God ever since leaving the cardiologist this morning, thanking Him for one beautifully healthy child and, quite frankly, straight-up asking for another.

While in the waiting room this morning we saw a baby so tiny I thought he must only be a few weeks old. Then I heard the mother say "13 weeks" and I can only imagine how small he was at birth. We saw a little girl (2 and a half according to her mother) who was obviously developmentally disabled, but very sweet and energetic, with a huge scar running down her chest (she was running around with no shirt on for some reason). Her mother said she had open heart surgery at 4 months. What challenges have they faced? What will they face as she grows up? My heart went out to them. There was also a young mother with a little boy named Jose, in process of being adopted from another country. Did they know he had a heart problem before? Or is this something they discovered after they got him? While being led to an examining room, we saw a little girl who was on oxygen. What is life like for her? What will it be like as she grows up?

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears in that place. Everyone was so kind - all the nurses and techs and the doctor himself - and I can't say how grateful I am that we were able to walk out of there and not look back. All those families, all those little kids whose hearts aren't functioning as they should...even now I am fighting back tears.

There but for the grace of God, indeed.

in which i am a jerk

This is one of those days...one of those days where by the end of it you just feel so used up you can't figure out how you're even going to brush your own teeth before bed. The weather was extremely unsettled all night and so was I, waking over and over, and having bizarre dreams when I did sleep. High humidity led to aching sinuses this morning, and lack of sleep led to a bad attitude all day.

Daughter has reached a phase where every single thing begets an argument. The only thing she does willingly these days is clean her plate at dinner, because she wants a "sandwich cookie" - that being a generic Target chocolate/vanilla faker Oreo, which is not as good as a real Oreo, but will suffice when all you need is the hit of sugar. And you are kind of broke. Which I am.

Seriously, I am so tired of arguing with my kid. By bathtime tonight I was pretty much straight-up yelling at her, which as we all know gets you nowhere...but I didn't know how to stop. Hubs had left us alone to go get fitted for a tuxedo (he is in a wedding next weekend), the kitchen was still filled with dirty dinner dishes, there were toys everywhere, and I had no reserves left. Now Daughter is in bed and I feel like a total a-hole. I want to apologize to her but how do you explain yourself to a 3 year-old? How do I explain that I am trying to grow a human being here, and it is way more tiring than women are given credit for?

I have so many things to do, and I just want to sit down for awhile and be left the hell alone. But then Daughter asks for a glass of milk, and Hubs acts like he suddenly can't hear, so who else is going to get up and do it? Poor kid can't wait on herself.

My sister emailed to ask how our dresses are coming along for her wedding...you know, just curious! So I've been filled with guilt because I hadn't even taken the fabric out of the bags yet, much less started sewing. The wedding isn't until August, what's the rush? But she is coming home for her shower next weekend, and now I feel obligated to at least finish the flower girl dress so she can see it. I've been a bride, I know that unsettled feeling when things aren't done and ready. She wants to know there will be a flower girl dress, so I need to produce one. I spent naptime today cutting it out and pondering how to mark for tucks on taffeta.

The fridge is empty. Like, Mother Hubbard empty. Hubs is complaining, but tomorrow is grocery day, not today, so leave me alone, dude. There was plenty to make a good dinner, but nothing to snack on! God forbid!

I have heartburn tonight and I don't know if it's from what I ate, or how awful I feel about my rotten behavior toward my poor kid.

So much to do, and I am only one person. And I feel like a jerk for not being able to keep up.

all this useless beauty

I have been obsessed with one thing all week:


The Feather & Fan shawl from A Gathering of Lace. I started it somewhere around a year ago, but put it aside in summer because hot, humid weather + fuzzy alpaca yarn = disaster. Then I couldn't work on it all winter because dry, rough hands + fuzzy alpaca yarn = disaster also. But now that we are experiencing a super-extended spring (temps still in the high 50s/low 60s) I have been able to pick it up again.

I also wanted to work something complicated and interesting before the baby arrives and my brain dribbles out of my head. You moms know that of which I speak.

When I restarted this I was just at the end of my first ball of Knitpicks Alpaca Cloud (440 yards), and had completed 100 rows of the pattern. There were 600 stitches per round at that point. I thought it took forever to get around, and heaven help me if I made a mistake, because finding it and fixing it was a hellish, 2-day operation that made me want to poke my eyes out.

So I daringly picked it back up, joined the second ball of yarn, and have now completed 136 of 189 rows. That may sound good, but I am now at a point where there are well over 800 stitches per round, and each round takes approximately 45 minutes to knit. Seriously. The pattern is 3 plain knit rounds, then one pattern round. In one evening of knitting (from approximately 9:00 until 11 or 11:30) I can knit about 4 rounds. But not always. Even though it is the very definition of tedious, I am enjoying it immensely.

Hubs snickers at me because I am knitting a shawl - he thinks it a very "old lady" thing to do (no, he does not read knitting blogs and does not know hundreds of young ladies are knitting up a lace storm). He keeps asking me why I'm doing it. I don't have a really good answer for that. I guess it's because I get tired of knitting toddler sweaters - Daughter barely wears them anymore now that she is so active because she gets too hot - and I'm not really ready to make baby boy sweaters yet. The repetitive nature and need for constant counting keeps me nice and calm and occupied, so I can't devote energy and thoughts to pregnancy anxiety. And also, it's nice sometimes to make something that's beautiful...just for beauty's sake. Why not?

For the record, last year I remember thinking (and may have even stated here) that I didn't know how this shawl was going to take 5 whole balls of yarn at 440 yards each. I was halfway through the chart and had only used one ball! But now, having knit 36 more rounds, I get it. The second ball is almost gone already and I am hoping I make it with the yarn I have. 800+ stitches per round really eats up yarn quickly.

So today, instead of madly knitting, I forced myself to use naptime productively; I vacuumed (finally, eew), and did the dishes, and even got some laundry out on the line to dry. Plus I worked on the hem of my brown linen dress (which I will finish tomorrow). I probably have enough left of naptime to work one more round of the shawl......if you need me, I'll be hunched over my lace, brow furrowed, counting, counting. But don't let the scowl fool you...I will be happy! :)

rude!

Know what really frosts my cookies? When people feel they can say any old thing to me about my pregnancy.

Listen, I am lucky, I guess, in that I am one of those women who does not get huge all over when I am pregnant. I gained 27 lbs total with Daughter, and I've gained about 14 lbs so far this time. Daughter was only 5 lbs, 9 oz at birth and this baby will likely be a similar size. This is not due to anything I do or don't do...it's just what happens with my body. Believe me, I eat. I eat A LOT. Tonight at the Memorial Day picnic we attended I ate a big burger (with bacon and cheese, awesome), potato salad, mac & cheese, the other half of Daughter's hotdog, and one and a half desserts. I'm not even kidding. And I will likely have a snack before bedtime. I put the food in...what my body does with it after that is out of my control.

Still, I get comments about how thin I am, how I "had better put on some weight," how I barely have a belly. Which is wrong, I do have a belly and if I walked around naked it would be quite obvious. These are the same type of comments I got all the time during my first pregnancy as well and it's really annoying!

I know people are not saying these things with malice. My brain understands that. But what people perhaps don't understand is that I am hanging on by my fingernails, here, and while I have thus far enjoyed a very normal, uneventful pregnancy, my anxiety is actually at a fever pitch...just below the surface I am so sure the other shoe is about to drop. And when I have to fight my fear every single day - when I stop in my tracks several times a day to relax and wait for my baby to move, for the love of God, MOVE - it does me no good to hear people telling me I may somehow be doing something wrong. Especially when I am being so scrupulously careful about everything surrounding this pregnancy.

I also know some of you might like to throw something at my head for this, because maybe you experienced the opposite - the dreadful "are you sure it's not twins?" type of comments. But believe me, it is just as hurtful to hear the opposite and to sense the implied question of whether you're eating enough to support your baby.

Ok, that's my rant. I feel better now.

dresses!

First up, a plug:

I have two new dresses for sale over at Bon*Bons - do check them out if you are so inclined. One is a poly blend floaty ruffled sundress, size 3:



The other is a sweet cotton navy polka-dot sundress with a gathered empire waist and buttons down the back, size 2:


The death of my serger is the customer's gain here, people - both dresses are finished entirely with french seams (meaning the raw edges of the seams are fully enclosed, for the non-sewers reading this). I think the pricing is fair considering the extra effort involved in this type of construction. Please do let me know if you think otherwise! I'm always open to feedback on pricing.

And on to personal sewing...

I made this funky little frock for Daughter before Christmas, but stopped with one sleeve and the ruffle unsewn. Christmas was coming, I had gifts to work on, and the dress got shoved aside. I originally bought the pattern because Karen made a version of this for her daughter and I adored it. She actually finished hers properly, though, with the pinafore over top. I haven't gotten that far and don't know if I will or not. The pattern is Simplicity and it's from the 70s - I'm not sure of the number off the top of my head and I'm a bit too lazy to run upstairs for it right now. If anyone is desperate to know it, leave a comment.

The problem is the sleeves - they are SO PUFFY! I like the cute style of the dress, but wow, the sleeves are enormous. They just look so funny on my petite, thin child.


I am loving the huge ruffle, though (and believe me it is straight in real life, I don't know why it looks crooked in the photo). And the gathered sleeve cuff is sweet, though I might try making it with clear elastic stitched directly to the fabric if I do it again, rather than making a casing with bias tape. Might be less bulky around the wrists. And despite my total lack of ability or experience in alteration, I might try to redraft the sleeve so the cap is much smaller. My poor little girl does not need that much fabric poofing out from her shoulders.

I love the fabric, though. It's just an inexpensive calico from Joann's, and I think it has pomegranates on it. That may be totally wrong, but that's what I keep thinking when I look at it. Daughter pulled this on over black leggings and black buckle shoes the other day and she looked all Little House on the Prairie* - I find I really like that look of the black stockings/leggings with the calico dresses...yes, I am totally weird. I'm going to go churn some butter now and light the oil lamp, because apparently I think it is 1880.

Well, the weather has finally come around and the sun is blazing. It's still chilly (barely 60 F) but supposed to climb into the 70s over the weekend. Should be a wonderful holiday here, at least. I have lots of sewing and knitting underway and hope to have some good posts next week. If I can drag my kid away from the playground long enough to get anything made, that is. Happy Memorial Day!

*I know I have shared how I buy my calicoes as far as quantity is concerned, but have I ever shared how I actually choose the prints? I look at them through the lens of: would Ma Ingalls have used this to make a dress for Mary, Laura, or Carrie? That's how I qualify "calico" in my mind. Wait - are you backing away from your computer? Come back! I'm only a little bit obsessed with LHOTP! I only re-read the entire series of books once a year! Come baaaaaaaaaack!

productive weekend

Well, I managed to fit in quite a bit of sewing along with lots of movie watching and laying around. Daughter took some good naps which afforded me lots of stitching time.

I almost finished a maternity dress. We have a weekend coming up that includes a Friday-night 50th birthday party at a dressy restaurant, a Saturday-afternoon wedding, and a Sunday-midday wedding shower. All events require some sort of dress. I ordered one cute maternity dress on sale from Old Navy a month ago, when I only knew about the wedding shower. Since then the birthday party AND the wedding have cropped up and I find myself in need of additional dresses.

I loathe purchasing maternity clothing, mostly because I don't want to spend money on things that will be worn for so little time. Especially dressy clothes - good for one occasion and that's it. And we all know how much maternity clothes cost. Sheesh. I guess I could go scoping for sales, but with the price of gas what it is, I figured I might as well make one trip to Joann's and sew something. I already had Burda 8096 (I used view B), and embroidered linen fabrics were on sale last week, so on Friday I picked up 2 yards of a pretty chocolate brown and - wonder of wonders - several yards of brown batiste to line it. I must say, Joann's redeemed themselves in my eyes by having brown batiste. What a stroke of luck! I was able to get a pretty good match for the zipper, too, though for some reason there were no 24" zippers in dark brown. Only 22." So the first of my many changes was to mark the pattern 2" higher for the end of the zipper. Not a problem, actually. It worked fine. I already had chocolate brown thread, so the entire cost of this dress was about $20. Not bad for maternity.

Now, I must point out it is not entirely finished. It needs some hand-stitching to close the shoulder seam area because of the way I added the lining, and it is unhemmed because I need my mom to pin it up while I wear it. Also, I will be adding the belt thread loops and a pretty ribbon to create a sort-of empire waist effect (it ties up under the bust). I am thinking a pink or aqua ribbon would be pretty against the brown. So right now it looks like a brown sack. It looks much cuter when worn, and once I get all the finishing touches added, I will try to get a modeled shot.

The front:



Back:



Front lining:



Back lining (needs to be slip-stitched to the zipper tape):



It doesn't look like much yet - and I was also trying to get pictures taken while a certain 3 year old danced around with her camera, because she wanted to take pictures too. So the quality is not so good, but you get the idea. I look forward to showing this when finished.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand, as a reward for getting so much done on the dress, I made a few more blocks. I'm up to 25:


I've got a fever! And the only cure is...more pinwheels!

filler

I've got nothing, so go read this awesome post about a prom dress. I had tears in my eyes by the end. It's so sweet. A kilt! A kilt! How awesome would it be to even know a dude who would have the b@lls to wear a kilt to PROM?!?

It's supposed to rain and be cold all weekend, so hopefully I'll have 1 finished maternity dress and many more quilt blocks to share on Monday. Don't hold me to it, though. I may just laze around and watch movies with my fambly.

i hope they have decaf

Mmmmmm...tasty AND frugal...tomorrow Dunkin' Donuts is giving away FREE ICED COFFEE! You can bet I'll be there.

Details here.

Depression quilt

Whoa, I so do NOT know where the time goes. I swear I never mean to go a whole week between posts. I am kind of lazy about taking photos of my projects these days, and I am kind of selfish about naptime, too, since it's the only free time I have during the day or evening when I don't feel like falling asleep. So I guess that's why the posts don't flow as frequently as they could.

Speaking of time flying, I had my 24 week checkup today. 24 weeks!? Already? Anyway, all appears to be well, and I got my prescriptions for the always delicious glucose tolerance test in a few weeks, and for a super-duper high-tech sonogram at the hospital at the end of June. It will be an "anomaly screening" and who wouldn't want one of those? Le sigh. Just another thing to be anxious about, I guess. Breeeeeeeaaaathe. Must.....breathe.....

So. Mother's Day. I trust you all had a nice one? Me, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and felt uber-crabby all day long. I cut my coupons, went grocery shopping, did the dishes - all the usual crap. Then I declared naptime to be mine, all mine, and while Hubs snored away on the sofa I disappeared to my sewing area.


This block goes by many names, among them pinwheel, broken dishes, and hourglass. I just call it awesomely fun to make. You may notice that none of the blocks seem to have anything to do with the others. That is intentional.

I am patterning them after this:


This is the "Big Dipper" quilt from this book:



I love this book and have taken it out of the library a bobillion times. Now I'm finally inspired to make something from it. Why this quilt and this book in particular? Well, let me tell you how I've gone about buying quilt fabrics over the past 10 years or so. It has primarily been in wee little cuts of 1/8, 1/4, and occasionally a splurge of 1/2 yard. Yes, I was one of those buttheads who took 15 bolts up to the Joann's cutting counter and asked for 1/8 yard of each. Jerk! Once I started working at a quilt shop, I learned that is a) acceptable but kind of rude and b) dumb if you ever want to make an actual quilt. The problem is that most fabrics go out of print very quickly and if you want to make a large, cohesive quilt you should buy at least 2 yards of any fabric. More if you really love it. It just won't be there when you go back for more. Trust me on this, I have seen it happen and experienced it personally many, many times. This is not necessarily so true with cheaper fabrics at a chain store like Joann's, because they tend to order in huge lots, unlike a quilt shop which probably orders 1 or maybe 2 bolts. I have definitely seen fabrics on the Joann's shelf for YEARS. But the general rule is: buy it now, or you'll be out of luck later.

Anyway, this book uses 5" squares for the primary design of each quilt. Sweet! It's an entire book of very scrappy quilts, and that is what my stash is well suited for these days. So I've been having a ball pulling out 2 coordinating fabrics and slapping them together to make these fun, easy blocks. Want to know a secret? There's nary a triangle to be cut or sewn in this block. Super simple.

I am in full-on quilt mode right now. It's all I want to do. In fact, I'm right now calculating how much sewing time I can squeeze out of the remainder of Daughter's nap after I finish this, just so I can make more blocks. I don't know what this quilt will be when it's done - it could be a wallhanging, or a lap quilt, or a king-size behemoth. Depends on how long this fever grips me! Once I get lots of blocks done, I have to head to Joann's and find one fabric to neutralize the craziness for sashing and borders. That'll be a trick, for sure.

OH! And as to the post title - I am calling this my Depression quilt. Not because I am depressed - note the capital D - but because I keep thinking that if I were living in the Depression era I'd have to just work with the wee scraps I have and not buy more. And, uh, with the way the economy is going that may just be prophetic ($67 to fill my gas tank last week - ow).

I'm not too hot to stitch garments right now, but I did finish up a couple new things for my etsy shop, and Karen's been sewing up a storm, so do go check it out. There are some really nice things in there now, with more to come.

back from the dead and some other stuff

So the cold didn't actually kill me, thankfully, though it was touch 'n go there for awhile.

Thursday night I experienced a real live panic attack for the first time in my life. I've had periods of intense anxiety and what I would call very mild panic before (most notably since losing a child) but never anything like what I went through last week. I woke up after being asleep for one hour, convinced I was suffocating. My whole head felt congested to the point where I thought I wasn't getting enough air, despite the huge gulping gasping breaths I was taking through my mouth. I jumped out of bed (literally), scaring Hubs, who followed me out into the family room. I paced around, arms flailing, repeating "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!" over and over again, all while Hubs assured me that I was, in fact, breathing. I begged him for some nose spray (forbidden during pregnancy) which we didn't have in the house anyway. I started to cry, making the congestion worse. My body felt like a trap, a cage. I wanted to tear off my skin. I wanted to open a door and run outside. My body was drenched in sweat and I couldn't stand to be touched - Hubs tried to rub my back to calm me but that made me feel worse. Finally I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach, so I ran to the bathroom, tearing off my pajamas. I demanded a t-shirt and God bless him, Hubs ran and got me one. I swayed over the toilet, feeling woozy and having those funny burps you get before you throw up, but I didn't throw up. Hubs wisely said I should kneel down so I didn't hurt myself, so I did. And then I collapsed sideways onto the blessedly cold bathroom floor, where I stayed for the next 20 minutes or so, shaking violently. My sinuses slowly cleared, my body finally began to cool off, and my head started to pull itself back together. Hubs just sat in the bathroom doorway, calmly talking to me and assuring me that I was not dying.

When I finally stopped shaking, Hubs helped me back out to the sofa and we watched Conan O'Brien. It was over, and I felt completely drained and exhausted. The panic was gone. It was the strangest, most horrid involuntary experience I've ever had. The only thing I can compare it to was my second labor when my epidural was turned up too high and I couldn't breathe or control my nausea, so I thought I was choking and suffocating even though my oxygen levels were normal. Just total loss of bodily control. Horrible.

Friday Hubs had to go to work, and I spent the day collapsed on the sofa playing Candyland with Daughter and running to the bathroom to throw up. But my body was finally ridding itself of all the mucous and germs, so I felt I was turning the corner.

It's been steadily uphill ever since, though I am still struggling with a raggedy, wet cough and runny nose.

Saturday, Sunday, and part of Monday Daughter ran a low fever. Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Seems to be gone now but I'm watching her closely.

Oh, and Hubs left for a business trip Sunday and won't be back until late tomorrow night. So Daughter and I have been crashing at my parents' house. Oh yes, we have. Total moochers, that's us. Conveniently, my sister shipped her wedding invitations home so for two days Mom and I have been addressing envelopes because the family consensus was that we have the nicest handwriting.

***

I've reached the point in this pregnancy - second half of the second trimester - where I wake up every day feeling bigger. Perhaps those of you who have children can relate to this weird phenomenon. I swear the pants that were loose a week ago are now cutting into my belly when I sit down. This is also the point where the baby has grown large enough to make very obvious, visible movements. I am large enough that casual observers can tell I am pregnant. This little boy child is now so very real to me, and I have to wonder if that wasn't part of my panic last week. He's in there, rolling and kicking and punching and LIVING. The knowledge that that could all change in an instant is rather overwhelming and difficult to live with. I have had to talk myself out of a few freakouts because it would be so, so easy right now to just be paralyzed all the time by fear.

No, no, nothing is "wrong" at all. But not knowing exactly what happened last time leaves us hanging, not able to watch for any specific thing to be wrong this time. It's maddening. This is why, though we definitely want one more child, the decision to go forward was so very difficult. Some people suggested the answer was to get pregnant again right away, but I couldn't do it. Hubs couldn't do it. We had to mentally prepare ourselves in such a different way for this pregnancy - in a way we had to make a commitment with a certain detachment, if that makes sense. Like we had to keep this baby at arms length for as long as possible to keep the fear and pain at bay. I don't know, I can't explain it.

Anyway, besides this rotten cold, I have felt fantastic. Very similar, in fact, to Daughter's pregnancy. I don't feel heavy or tired or "draggy" like I felt last time - I have energy and I'm mostly quite comfortable. And even that leaves me wondering if I've been lulled into a false sense of security. Basically, I am hoping for the best but half-expecting the worst, and I know that sounds terrible but it's all I've got. That is why we haven't even told Daughter yet. We have only just talked in very vague and general terms about babies, pointing them out when we're in public places, asking her how she feels about babies, whether she'd like it if a baby came to our house to be a part of our family. What we don't want is to have to explain a tragedy to her. It leaves me in a weird place. Perhaps some of you know this place. I hope not, but reality tells me some do.

I just want this baby to be born alive - a prayer I never thought I'd pray. So I am in constant communion with my child, "listening" for him, carefully, obsessively tracking his movement. Luckily he is busy and active, even at 23 weeks, so I am reassured many times each day. Still, I keep uttering that same prayer. Just let him be born alive, Lord. It's all I ask.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick

I seem to keep getting sicker and sicker. This morning I broke down and begged Hubs to work from home (he did) because I knew I couldn't care for Daughter and myself. I have reached the 'bargaining with God' phase of illness, as I plead for a few hours of sleep. It ain't working.

On the bright side, all Daughter's bloodwork came back perfectly normal, so at least she's healthy. However, she did sneeze 2 times in a row this afternoon and I had a panic attack. I'm so scared she's going to catch what I have, and that will suck.