hope springs eternal

Winter in the northeast US is kind of like pregnancy. You know for a fact that it will indeed end. And February is, for me, like being 8 1/2 months pregnant...you've passed the point of truly enjoying it and just want it to END ALREADY. So thanks for the commiseration yesterday. Today the sun is blazing, and while it's still only in the 20s out there, I am cheered by the thought that Spring is really not all that far off.

Anyway, I am preparing for it in my own way. By making stuff, of course. Yes, there is still plenty of time to curl up and knit with hearty wool (and plenty of time to wear those woolens), but it's nice to brighten things up with some advance Summer sewing!

I bought these patterns last year in preparation for this year's clothing needs. Daughter is very tall and leggy, and all the dress patterns I have are really too short for her to play comfortably in without flashing her business, if you know what I mean. As printed they are likely going to be a bit too long, but I had what I thought was a genius idea - after all, what would Caroline do? She would sew rows of horizontal tucks around the lower skirt, right? Then the dress could be let down as needed. Of course, excess fabric could be cut off and the dress hemmed that way, but then that extra length is sacrificed and the dress is useless in the future. If I do the tucks, it will last longer, because Daughter doesn't grow much as far as weight gain, but she does get taller and taller.

I want to be smarter and more efficient with my scrap management as I go forward. I bought 2 yards of this pink calico at Joann's, and cut what little remained into various size squares and strips, ready to be used in a quilt or whatever. I hope to do this with all the calicoes I'm using this Spring and Summer. Otherwise all the crazy scraps from dresses, tops, and shorts get jammed into a big bag or bin - where they just sit, getting more wrinkly and less appealing. A nice, neat box of squares is definitely more tempting.

And it results in a lot less waste! This is what remains from that 2 yard cut of fabric. Mostly selvage edges and tiny strips. (Yes, they could be used in string quilts, but I don't make those.)

I hope to finish this dress up today and make a start on another. Or maybe I'll make tea and curl up with more knitting. We'll see where this sunny day takes me.

busywork

No one really tells you, when you become a stay-home mother, that it is pretty much a totally boring job. It's also largely thankless, but we mostly know that, I guess. After nearly 6 years of stay-home-ness, I am bored out of my mind. In the dead of winter in a cold climate, there is little to look forward to each morning...making meals the children will not eat, cleaning up after the children, watching PBS, playing playdoh, painting with watercolors, doing mountains of laundry, listening to the wind rattle the windows, more cleaning up, etc, etc.

I've scheduled many playdates this winter in an effort to combat the cabin fever, but inevitably someone gets sick or something comes up and either I cancel or our friends do. We've all been sick since Christmas, almost non-stop. We were on the upswing for about a week, until Daughter brought home another nasty virus from Kindergarten. AJ just managed to squeak in for his surgery last week, though his nose was stuffy. Another couple of days and he'd have had chest congestion and a fever like his sister. Luckily those symptoms showed up after the surgery day. He is, in fact, sound asleep right now (11:45 a.m.) and has been since 10:30, because he barely slept last night. He was restless and feverish, crying almost constantly. Which means Hubs and I are exhausted as well.

It's just a crappy, crappy time of year. I'm going through the motions but barely getting anything done. It's all too easy to just sit and browse the internet for hours on end. I grab a ball of yarn here and there and work on something, but I'm not feeling inspired. It's all just busywork to pass the time.

Here's the marled sweater I showed a couple weeks back, now finished:

Knitting pure & simple neck-down cardigan, size 2-4. My little boy is getting big! This took nearly a whole skein of lion fishermen's wool. US 9 needles for the body, US 8 needles for the ribbing.

It went really fast and was pretty satisfying, so look what I found in my yarn trunk:

Another orphan skein of fishermen's wool. Another neck down raglan? Sure, why not.

I'm making an attempt to cheer up and look forward to spring:

This yarn has been hanging around since I was pregnant with AJ, waiting to be made into socks for Daughter. I'd better do it now, as her feet are almost too big to squeeze 2 socks out of one skein. I'm hoping to put these in her Easter basket. We try to go really minimal with the Easter candy because no matter how we beg and plead with my in-laws to lay off, they inevitably show up with enormous baskets filled with chocolate and junk. So I go with one very small chocolate figure, some jellybeans and m&ms, and some sort of useful item (like socks) or a book or something.

I'm pleased with myself for actually working through my stash a bit so far this year. I keep most of my yarn in my old college footlocker, and I can now close the lid easily, without sitting on it. That means some yarn is definitely gone. With little else to do and sick/post-surgical children lolling around the house, I might as well keep cranking out the knits, using up all that yarn I've been collecting for so many years.

so much making

There's been a bit of recent sewing around here...the machine never really gets put away for long. I went to Joann's to get a few summer patterns for dresses and tops that I desperately need, and this awesome dinosaur fabric leapt into my cart:

So cute! I mean, really, how often do you find great fabric for little boys? These little dinosaur pants came together in about 20 minutes. I used the pajama pants pattern that I've made a million times before, with no outside seam, just an inner leg seam, crotch seam, hems, and waistband. So, so fast! And now that AJ is getting to be a big boy (2 and 1/2 already!) he is forming opinions about his clothing...but he loves these! So that's kind of awesome.

Here's a bit of a closeup of the fabric. It's from the juvenile prints section at Joann's, and is a nice lightweight twill-type fabric, 100% cotton and washes and dries beautifully. One word of caution: it was printed crookedly so I actually lined up the pattern piece with the print, rather than exactly on the grain. For simple little pull-on toddler pants it made no difference.

Oh, and these pants cost a whopping $3.50! I love it when sewing can actually be economical in this day and age!

But mostly there has been knitting. Please, it is like 5 degrees F here! I can't even bear to sit at the sewing machine, it is so chilly. We keep the heat down during the day to cut down on the dryness and the gas bill, so I tend to gravitate toward the couch and cover myself with afghans.

I showed the yarn for this sweater a few weeks ago. It was a bag of "mill-ends" from AC Moore. I always dig through that bin because there might be a treasure buried beneath all the yucky white acrylic!

I am reminded of why I don't work with variegated yarns. Look at this goofy sweater! Daughter says she will wear it, but frankly I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. The yarn is Paton's classic wool, and knit up into a warm, springy, soft cardigan. I used Elizabeth Zimmermann's "EPS" method, which I have come to adore because I need no pattern and can haul the project around anywhere without having to refer to anything. The buttons are jewel tone and I will have Daughter help me choose which to sew on.

Side note: gosh, Daughter is getting big. I totally underestimate her size because she is very slender, but this sweater seemed HUGE when I was knitting it and it just fits.

Moving on...it's not like AJ needs another new sweater right now or anything, but I desperately need to keep busy and also use up some orphan skeins of yarn. So he's getting a Knitting Pure & Simple neck-down cardigan, in the 2-4 year size, made from this skein of Lion Fisherman's Wool.

I'm not loving it, but I'm not hating it either. Anyway, it's going fast and makes for excellent mindless knitting while I hunker down under seventeen blankets to watch movies at night.

Finally for today, a bit of stashbusting. We knitters tend to have a stash of yarn, and some of us (me) tend to buy without thinking at times. We see a clearance sticker and take temporary leave of our senses. Then we blog about it, lamenting the fact that we have so much yarn and need to make use of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone, but this year truly needs to be a stashbusting year for me. We've had lots and lots of medical bills piling up because every year our health coverage gets worse and worse. So whereas my son used to have surgery and it hardly cost us anything, it's now climbing into the thousands. Yep, thousands. I have newfound empathy and deep pity for the uninsured these days...but that is another post.

So in light of that, I went diving to see what needs to be used. I found this:

One full skein plus dribs and drabs of Cotton-Ease in the looooooong discontinued blueberry colorway. I got these on clearance at Joann's when Daughter was a wee baby, for half off the clearance price if I recall correctly. I made myself a Sitcom Chic cardigan with this yarn, probably about 4 years ago? I can't even remember exactly when. And this is the remains.

There's probably just enough here to squeak out a toddler sweater for AJ. But I was not excited at the prospect of making another plain blue sweater with this yarn. I left it sitting on my dresser for two weeks, where it stared at me and made me feel guilty every time I went in my bedroom.

Then I saw a really cute little quarter-zip pullover at Target. Maybe you saw it too - it was royal blue with lime green striping in the cuffs and hem, and a little lime green robot on the chest. I waited and waited for it to be marked down, but by the time it was, AJ's size was gone.

But I was inspired.

I sacrificed $3 of my precious birthday gift card for Joann's to purchase this single skein of Cotton-Ease in lime. That gift card is supposed to go toward making myself summer clothes, but this seemed a worthy use too. Now the blueberry yarn will find a use after all these years, my son will have a new sweater, and I will feel quite satisfied with myself. Ha! Look at me rationalize.

So that's the crafty update from over here on the frozen tundra! What are you making during this deep freeze?

emergency mittens

A certain little girl keeps leaving her hats and mittens on the school bus.

*sigh*

So a certain mother keeps knitting up more.

Basic worsted weight mittens, made from Ann Budd's book (Knitter's Handy Book of Patterns). The yarn is Debbie Stoller - Full o' Sheep? I can't remember, and my toddler is obsessed with throwing things in the garbage so he took care of the yarn ball band as soon as I removed it from the skein.

These will be clipped firmly to her coat cuffs and hopefully not lost in the next few weeks. And hopefully the bus driver turned her others in to the school office. Ay-yi-yi.

12 days in and another F.O.

Less than two weeks into the new year and I have two finished garments to show for it! Ok, granted one was started in 2010, and one is only a vest, but still!

I finished AJ's Milo vest this morning, weaving in the ends just before bathtime because I wanted to put it on him right away.

The entire time I was knitting I was convinced it would be too big. But I always misjudge the size of my own children. It ended up fitting perfectly.

Stats:

Milo by Georgie Hallam (ravelry link)

One full skein and a little bit of another skein of Patons Classic Wool in "dark gray mix"

US 6 needles to more closely approximate the pattern gauge (pattern calls for DK weight yarn)

Size knitted: 3

Here you can see it's not as short and boxy as it looks hanging on its own. I like this little vest - it's nice and simple, and the neck-down construction is really pretty ingenious, with the cast-offs forming the straps and armholes at the same time. Pretty neat - I'll probably make more.

And a belated Christmas item...

This was under the tree for Daughter on Christmas morning. It's the jumper version of the pattern I used for her red corduroy Christmas dress (Simplicity 5830). I only had a 9" zipper (the pattern calls for 14") but I was trying to be thrifty and frugal so I just put in the 9" and crossed my fingers. It works just fine.

The fabric is denim I got at WalMart when they closed their fabric department last year...in total this dress probably only cost about $3 or $4 to make. It's adorable on her, and goes with just about every shirt, sweater, and pair of tights she owns.

My son and I are still hacking and coughing...oh, the coughing! He's down for his nap and I'm about to follow suit. This is the second time this week that I'm giving myself permission to nap...feels quite decadent, I can tell you that. But I need it, my body is begging for the rest.

dispatch from the TB ward

A picture is worth 1000 words, no?

This is about all I have, friends. Three-quarters of a Milo vest and some cold meds. We are sick and it's the pits. Daughter brought home a germ last week, and since AJ and I had been very slightly sick with a mild cold over Christmas, our poor weakened bodies jumped all over this one. Now Daughter is 99% better but the two of us are miserable.

It's a chest cold, too - the kind that makes people look uncomfortable and walk away from you in the supermarket. Niiiiiiice. And of course I'd decided to give myself a wee break from laundry and groceries late last week. So yesterday and today have found me digging out from under the enormous pile of dirty clothes and towels, and making a quick run to Target and the grocery store this morning. I hated taking AJ out in 25 degree weather when he is coughing up a lung, but we had to get his prophylactic antibiotic for surgery next week (that's right, he has 7 days to kick this germ). Actually I am hoping we have a bacterial infection and NOT a virus, because that means the antibiotic will do something good for him.

At least we have some food in the cupboards now and I don't have to leave the house for the next several days. PJs here I come. Maybe I can finish up this Milo vest and move along to something more cheery and colorful!

happy new year!

Hello! Happy new year! I guess I'm a little late with that, but what can I say? The days, they are so long, and yet time whizzes by faster and faster.

Let's get this out of the way first. BEST Christmas gift I received? Well, first let me say this: you know that question people ask about what person, living or dead, you'd want to have dinner with if you could?

My answer, no doubt about it, is Elizabeth Zimmermann. My sister went trolling around Amazon.com and found my wish list. She took a chance and ordered this for me. Woot! It's a colleciton of her original typed (!) newsletters with hand drawings and anecdotes, along with commentary by others. So, so good. I've been savoring it each evening before I go to sleep.

As far as Christmas crafting is concerned, I did get most of my goals accomplished. Daughter's knee socks were done a few days early so I gave them to her as one of her last advent gifts. And pretty much one day before Christmas (the 23rd, no kidding) I sat AJ down with play-doh and he happily mushed it around for TWO HOURS, so I was able to bang out 5 more little Barbie garments:

The final tally was 3 pairs of pants, 3 dresses, one skirt, and 4 tops (I am just now noticing one of the tops is missing here). Daughter was absolutely tickled and brought all of this along to Grandma's house later in the day. I was tickled because to me that's how you gauge Christmas gifts...if they come along to Grandma's you know they are liked!

I have one more item to photograph from Christmas but that will have to wait for another day.

On to 2011...

First official F.O. of the new year:

Tiny Tea Leaves cardigan for Daughter. This is the size 6 and it fits her perfectly. I used Caron Country yarn, which I don't particularly like because it splits like crazy and the plies tend to break easily, but I got it for $2.99/skein on clearance and I'm a sucker for clearance yarn. This sweater took almost 3 skeins, on a US 7 needle. The pattern was ok - I'm not racing to make it again, but it wasn't difficult to follow.

And because the most intellectually stimulating thing I do most days is load and unload the dishwasher, I need something really good to sink my teeth (and brain) into. That calls for cables!

This is the beginning of the back of a hooded cabled jacket for AJ. This is the most luxurious yarn I've ever bought - Rowan something-or-other, can't recall, will have to look for a ball band later. The pattern is FREE from here.

That's fun, but I can't work on it while I care for the children, so I also started another simple cardigan for Daughter:

I do so love mill-end yarn. This is some truly obnoxious Patons Classic Wool that I found in the mill-end bin at A.C. Moore sometime last autumn. I got a pound of the stuff for something like $5 or $6. Ridiculous. This feeds my need for mindless stockinette and you can't beat an all-wool sweater for that price! There will likely be enough here for a hat and/or mittens too. And it goes without saying, I think, that my almost-6-year-old simply adores these crazy colors. I have no pattern - just winging it with EZ's percentage system and a US 7 needle.

And because it is now the coldest, most miserable part of the year here in Western New York, I'm also whipping up a Milo vest for AJ. I don't have any DK yarn stashed so I'm trying this with worsted weight and a US 6 needle. It's ok if it comes out a bit large - it will fit over several layers and hopefully fit into next fall. And dark gray goes with everything (including the sky most days...bleh).

I don't really have many resolutions for the new year...they never seem to work out anyway, you know? But I do think this is to be the year of the stash for me. I've already given myself several mental hand-slaps when I think about purchasing yarn, fabric, or patterns. It is really time to push myself to use what I already have! It's not like that should be a hardship...there is quite a backlog of projects here waiting for my attention.

Here's hoping for a productive 2011!

humbug

I'm feeling decidedly un-Christmassy today. Not that I am anti-Christmas, no no, that's not what I mean. I just mean I'm not feeling it, that's all.

I took AJ to see his surgeon this morning because the site where his G-tube used to be is not healing on its own. I took the tube out at the end of October (shhhh...we told them it fell out) and it has closed down to a pindot, but still leaks just enough to irritate the skin and require pretty heavy bandaging. AJ has sensitive skin like his daddy, and the bandages do almost as much damage as the leaking stomach acid. He has a 3" square area of totally wrecked skin on his abdomen and while he is not very verbal, he can clearly say "itchy, ma! itchy!"

The surgeon says he'll have to operate on my son to remove the scar tissue tunnel formed by the original tube placement, stitch the stomach, the muscles, and the skin, which will leave my sweet boy with just a little 1 cm scar on his belly. But it means another torturous day in the hospital for us.

When the surgeon told me this, I smiled and joked with him and nodded a lot; very agreeable I was. We scheduled the surgery, smiling smiling, and said happy holidays, smiling smiling. We bundled up in hats and coats and mittens, smiling all the while. And when we got to the car my body just collapsed into itself. I sat in the driver's seat as all my muscles assumed their "stressed" position, which my body now knows so well. Within moments I ached all over and my head buzzed.

It's not even that big a deal - none of his surgeries since the first have been big deals. But this will be, I think, the 6th time in the OR for my boy. The 6th time a nurse will take him away down a long hallway, away from us, put a mask on his face, and hook him to a machine that will breathe for him. It will be the 6th time we've sat waiting, fidgeting, drinking coffee, watching the clock, wondering what's happening to our boy. The 6th time I will be brought back to recovery to see him as he wakes up, the 6th time the tears will flow as I see his tiny body in the big bed, tethered to monitors and IVs.

One at a time these are no big deal, these operations. Ear tubes, a small hernia, more ear tubes, this next minor repair...

But collectively, over 2 years time, they are really hard to bear. And I know, we are SO LUCKY because so many people have it so much worse. SO, SO MUCH WORSE. But I've decided that just because other people are suffering more, that does not reduce my own pain. I am allowed to hate this, and I really, really do. Even while I am thankful for the wonderful doctors we have helping our son, even while I am so happy with the wonderful progress my son has made...all the while I still seethe inside when we have to take him back and hand him over for yet another procedure.

It feels quite unfair. Quite unfair, indeed.

quick gift update

I took a little break from making Christmas gifts to make the Christmas clothing for my little humans, so not a whole lot of progress has been made...but I'm getting there. Hey, I still have 9 days, right?!? Yikes!

Sorry for the dark photos. I took them quite literally in the middle of the night after a long, bleary-eyed sewing session.

So far Barbie is getting 3 pairs of pants (one corduroy...ooh lala), one circle skirt, one lovely spring dress, and a shirt. I'm hoping to bang out a few more pieces but they are tedious. We'll see.

It turns out clothing for dollies is pretty tedious too...but at least a bit easier because of scale. This is a simple jumper for a medium baby doll (about 15") made of the same corduroy as Daughter's Christmas dress, with 3 tiny snaps to hold the back closed. I trimmed this with vintage silver ric-rac from my grandmother's sewing supplies.

This is a little dolly sunsuit, also for a medium size doll. The fabric is several years old from Joann's "tutti-frutti" line they have each summer. I still have a huge piece of this and I don't really like it, but I guess I'll suck it up and make something matching for Daughter next year.

Some doll clothes are really ingenious in their design and construction. This wee dolly nightgown, made for a smaller doll, is just such a piece. The entire thing is cut in one piece and cleverly seamed and finished. I had to make a small one because I only had a scrap of purple flannel left from a pair of pajamas I made for Daughter, and I wanted this to match.

My knitting basket was nearby when I took these photos so I thought I'd quickly snap the kneesocks I've been working on for Daughter. With 1" of leg and one foot to go, I think these will make it under the tree.

I have a huge Etsy order to finish up, for which I am very grateful, and then it's back to late-night marathons of sewing and knitting to finish up for Christmas.

What are you working on?

holiday makin': drive-by update

Daughter's first pair of mittens: done. She approved and wore them all weekend. Did I do some sort of weird different decrease on one of them? I don't think so...and yet one looks pointy.

Sweater for baby nephew: 85% complete (I made that percentage up). Just needs front and neck bands, underarm weaving, and buttons. Once it's done and washed it will be on its way.

Daughter's Christmas dress: done!

I am so, so happy with this dress. I want to make ten more.

Matchy Gymboree tights were acquired over the weekend. She is going to look so sweet.

(Yes, I need to press that underarm seam better. It was sewn straight and true, I promise.)

Onward.....

lost my mojo, got it back with gusto, am now freaking out

A few weeks ago I posted that I'd temporarily lost my knitting/sewing/crafting mojo, but felt it slowly returning. Well, shortly thereafter it came back with a BANG and now I'm swamped with projects I'd really, really love to get done in the next 30 days.

It's insanity. I will have to pare down. Here are a few things that are going pretty well so far:

AJ's holiday 2010 pants. Basic, pull-on pants in dark brown corduroy. Just a simple, size 2 pair of pants, made from a pajama pattern that I know will fit. Both of my kids are so tall and narrow - that's why the waist is so tiny, but he needs the room in the butt for his cloth diaper.

Daughter's Christmas 2010 dress. I wasn't going to bother because we're not really going anywhere significant for the holiday this year, but I like the kids to have something nice to wear, I like looking back at the holiday outfits I've made, and this will be a nice, warm, comfortable corduroy dress that she can wear for other occasions too.

The pattern is an old one: Simplicity 5830, out of production. But you can still find it on ebay and stuff. I highly, highly recommend this one. The pieces come together like a dream, it is not difficult at all, just slightly time-consuming because of the pleats in the front and back. My friend gave it to me years ago and I made two dresses just like this in size 2 for Daughter when she was wee. Some of the size 6 pieces were cut up or even missing (!) and I was able to actually re-draft them with some pattern ease and a little patience. I'm using the 6X sleeve and crossing my fingers it won't make that much difference. And still I am thrilled with how it is coming out. Maybe I can find some of those cute holiday tights with candy-canes or holly leaves? Super sweet!

Not as sweet is this jumper I made for Daughter to wear on Thanksgiving. What a shit-tay pattern this was!! I've decided that bias-tape bound armholes are the ultimate pattern-drafter copout. I much prefer either a facing that encompasses both neckline and armhole, or separate facings for the armholes. The bias tape never, ever looks nice to me. It's a Simplicity "It's So Easy" pattern, and frankly the reason it's so "easy" is because of this type of corner-cutting in the pattern. I really need to remember that and stop buying these sub-par patterns.

The camera accentuates all the problems horribly, and I promise it doesn't look so bad in real life and on her body, but the armholes do look lousy.

Oh well, the corduroy is adorable, it was on sale, and the jumper will look cute enough with a pink shirt and pink tights for the holiday.

And finally for today, some new mittens for Daughter. The last pair I made her turned out a bit small. (Holy moly, I am really misjudging her size lately and making things too little! I am thankful I made the red dress in a 6...I almost made a 5 because those things tend to run big but I believe the 6 will actually be almost perfect.)

Anyhoo, she has been leaving her outerwear on the bus lately (grrrr) but thankfully the busdrivers are really great about doing a sweep of the bus and have returned her hats and mittens. Still, she needs a few more pairs of mittens as backups. I let her choose a couple of yarns and this was her first pick. It's really more of a periwinkle in person. I'm using the basic mitten pattern from Ann Budd's Handy Book of Patterns in the second size, at 5 st to the inch.

I can make one per night while I watch the A-team and Magnum P.I. :)

On top of all that I now want to complete the following:

• a red sweater for AJ to wear with the dark brown pants (may become a vest due to time constraints!)
• a sweater for my nephew (6-9 month size) as the one I'd started turned out too small and had to be ripped
• a 3-6 month size sweater for my cousin's brand new baby girl
• knee socks for Daughter (one is 75% done)
• socks for AJ (to put in his stocking)
• hat for Hubs (per his request)
• more mittens for Daughter
• mittens for AJ (2 pair...but I would settle for 1!)
• fingerless mitts for my sister
• socks for Hubs (totally hopeless, it will never happen, but hey, I can dream)
• the rest of the barbie wardrobe I've started
• baby doll clothes for Daughter's 3 dollies
• AJ's quilt (top 50% done...this will never happen either)

I broke down and asked people to get pajamas as gifts for my children - there is no way I can get them sewn up and the weather is turning quite cold now. And I harbor no illusions about that list. It is insane, I am aware of it. But at least it gives me a bit of a roadmap to work from.

And I've been trying so hard to balance housework/cooking/feeding children/nurturing others with finding time to do the activities that nurture me. It's been a real challenge lately. My mom has been utterly tied up caring for my dad after his recent knee replacement surgery, so I have no child care (don't know any teens in the neighborhood and can't afford a sitter anyway). My son is a whirlwind of activity and his stomach is a bottomless pit, so it's go-go-go from the time we get up in the morning until I collapse in a heap at night. And Daughter, when she was two, would hang around in the family room with me and I could knit peacefully, but not AJ. He is constantly climbing on me or the furniture or whatever, and there is no sitting down to relax when he is awake.

So, you know, my list is a silly pipe dream. I'll do my best.

gift update

If you asked anyone who has ever known me to describe me in just a few words, I'd bet most people would put "impatient" in the top 5. It's probably my greatest fault...definitely my greatest hurdle in parenting. Which is why I guess I find it surprising that I have gravitated to hobbies that kind of take quite a bit of patience!

Sewing is usually pretty fast, but I don't like projects that drag on too long. If it can't be completed in a couple sittings, I probably won't finish it. It takes me YEARS to complete a quilt. Knitting is better because I can work on it successfully in short bursts and it's so portable and soothing...I find I don't knit just for the finished garment, but for the peace of the process.

Still, I get through my projects, eventually, and I typically enjoy the work. But now I think I've found the truest test of my patience.

BARBIE.

Or rather, her clothes.

This little blouse is the first thing I chose to make from the patterns I showed in my last post. It doesn't look too complicated, but what you can't see very well are the teeny tiny darts in the front, nor the teeny tiny facing at the neckline (which I first sewed on freaking backwards, ripped out, and restitched). WOW. Wow. This is some fiddly sewing!

My work totally sucks on this one, so I may or may not give it to Daughter. I'm not sure I even want to waste the snaps to hold it shut!

I thought maybe pants would be easier, so I moved on to those. Do you see how small these pieces are? I feel like I need a miniature sewing machine to stitch these - I can't seem to figure out how best to fit them under the needle. And I desperately desire a Clover mini iron to press these wee garments.

I think I'm going to get better at this. There is a surprisingly frustrating learning curve at play, but I will get better. Then once I've crafted the garments, I really want to find Daughter a Barbie wardrobe trunk like we used to play with at my Grandma's house.

And hey, after the Barbie stuff, the baby doll clothes should be a piece of cake.

In other gifting news, I started these socks for myself, but now I'm thinking they would make a nice birthday gift for my mom next week. I've been working steadily along on them at night while riveted by the Retro TV channel. I can't stop watching 30 year-old episodes of The A-Team, Magnum P.I., and Rockford Files. Gosh, I need to get a life!

And finally today, the humble beginnings of a shawl-collared cardigan for my baby nephew:

This will go along with the knitted jingle balls I made early in the summer, and a few toys and books. My sis and her family won't be here for Christmas this year (boo, sad!) so I have to get done and get the baby's gifts in the mail by mid-December.

When Daughter gets off the bus I think we'll head out for tiny snaps and 1/8" elastic. She has two days off school, making a 4-day weekend, so I won't be able to sew the doll stuff during the day. I want to get my supplies in order so I can work at night...if I can rip myself away from Tom Selleck.

i must be nuts

lu·na·tic (ln-tk)

adj.

1. Suffering from lunacy; insane.

2. Of or for the insane.

3. Wildly or giddily foolish: a lunatic decision.

4. Characterized by lunacy or eccentricity.

Seriously. I must be a lunatic, thinking I will create a stunning doll wardrobe for Daughter sometime over the next...what, 7 weeks? Yeah, that's how long until Christmas, friends. 7 measly weeks.

(The patterns are all Simplicity; 7073, 5785, 3879, 2454, and 4707.)

longies for sale

This is something I have been meaning to do for several years. I finally, finally got around to making some longies to sell over on etsy. I'm always so uncomfortable putting a price on my work, but I do feel that these are very well made, and they do take a really, really long time to knit up due to the tight gauge of the waistband and upper hip (US 3 and 5 needles = slow).

So there they are, one newborn pair. I can take a limited number of custom orders for these (in a range of sizes), so if you know anyone looking for longies made with love and care...check 'em out!

thoughts on education

I wonder if it is possible to mourn the loss of something you never actually had. Oh gosh, that sounds crazy.

I have long experienced a weird nostalgic feeling when I look at old (meaning from my early childhood) books and educational materials - I am sucked in by those awesome hand-drawn illustrations and the fonts that look like handwriting (or is that actual handwriting?). You know, the whole Free To Be You and Me thing, with the hippy-dippy style and the recipes for things like coffee-can raisin bread. Which you can't even make properly anymore because coffee doesn't come in 1 lb. cans these days.

I have vague memories of the Methodist preschool I attended in 1980, just as that era was ending. I can remember the smell of the room and of the poster paints, the look and feel of the sand table, the smooth oak of the furniture and cubbies where we put our coats. In my memory it is a serene place, warm and safe and fun.

Early elementary school holds some similar memories. Sitting around the table in Kindergarten, writing with those fat red pencils that clanged just so in the metal cup when you put them back. The metal scissor rack with those crappy scissors...and there were never enough lefties for the left-handed kids. And the milk - oh, the milk! - being wheeled into the classroom in a metal crate on a 4-wheel dolly. The cartons were red, I think. That was for snacktime, back when the school provided the milk and Kindergarten was only 1/2 day, because 5 year-olds were still kind of babies back then.

A week or so ago, the 4 of us went to Daughter's school for the annual PTA ice cream social. We're new at this, so we figured we'd better go. Don't want to look like deadbeat parents who don't participate, etc. The school holds 600+ students, and I think most of them were there with their parents, siblings, and in some cases grandparents. It's a big fundraiser, I guess. We paid our $2 each, got our ice-cream cups, and waited in line outside the cafeteria. Once we got in it was bedlam. There was hardly room to move, and as we made our way through the line with a squirming toddler, my sweater dragged through someone's ice cream. We got our melty scoops, sat at the nearest empty table, and Daughter burst into angry tears. We could barely hear her telling us she wanted to sit over there, where her classmate was sitting. So we hauled our gloppy ice cream and the children to where she was pointing. Of course right then her friend's family got up to leave, so Daughter pouted in her chair while AJ cried because he did not have his own ice cream. Hubs took AJ for a walk while I cajoled Daughter into just eating the stinking ice cream. It was so, so crazy in there. I asked Daughter if this is what it's like when they eat lunch each day and she said yes...except it's way louder.

And in that moment I was flooded with guilt and anger that each day is like that for her. She wasn't really eating her lunch the first couple weeks of school, bringing home a half-eaten sandwich and both her dessert and fruit. I was so worried, but in that moment I totally got it. Who would want to eat in that environment?

Then she told me about how a kid has been hitting her in the head with his lunchbox. And that same kid, it turns out, punched her in the stomach during lunch, on more than one occasion. Now, before your inner mama bear roars, you should know that we pried the truth out of her and she had been snatching his glasses off his face. That doesn't excuse the punching, but it does save us from potentially embarrassing ourselves.

And then there is the fundraising, which we have been hit with 3 times in the first 7 weeks of school. Nowadays they just send the items home with the kid and tell you to either buy it or send it back. Awkward. Hate it. I find that highly inappropriate in a public school, for which I pay exorbitant taxes.

What am I rambling about? Well, I guess I just feel like my kid is getting a raw deal sometimes. She is actually quite happy, so this does not stem from her, it is coming entirely from me. It's just not, to my mind, the ideal environment to shape a small human. And that makes me sad. Because a kid hitting her in the head with his lunchbox is just the beginning, you know? Hubs, while concerned about her, tends to brush it off as part of the "learning to navigate the world" process. But how come a 5 year-old has to learn to navigate noise and bedlam?

I would dearly love for her to be in a calmer, quieter place. I guess that's what draws me to the homeschooling blogs and the Waldorf blogs. We live eighty gajillion miles from the nearest Waldorf school, so that's out, but I think she would really thrive in that environment. I wanted to take her there for their preschool program, but we moved away. I read the literature and I was so into the idea that morning snack was a group affair, and all the kids had the same thing (oatmeal and apple slices) which they were to help prepare. They would also observe the mothers doing the useful work of ironing the napkins and assisting with prep and cleanup. When my mom heard about that she thought I was NUTS. But I think it speaks to educating the whole child, I really do. And I think that incorporating all aspects of daily life into education might make it a nicer environment for all the kids...reducing the urge to, say, hit someone in the head with your lunchbox.

I have a degree in education, but only now am I truly seeing what all those articles and books were about. The segmented school day, the disconnected subjects and the noise level...oh my word, the noise level! My baby girl grows further away from me every day, I can feel it - it's in the clothes she wants/doesn't want to wear, the snippy tone she adopts, the eye-rolling when she is asked to help out with basic chores.

It's uncomfortable for me (us?), but it is what it is. Hubs says I worry too much...but I often think we're not worried enough. I guess I just don't know. I know others feel it too, which explains the rise in homeschooling and the popularity of alternative schools like Waldorf. I think folks are seeking a kinder, gentler educational experience for their precious children - a softer beginning, a more comfortable introduction to the world beyond the home.

I wish I could express this jumble of thoughts a little better, a little more clearly. It's really quite emotional for me so it's difficult to articulate well. I guess it's just something I'll continue to ponder as my kids (and I) move forward.

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrip!

My knitting has been utter crap lately.

I hate it when the mojo leaves me, whether it be knitting, sewing, cooking, or whatever else I do. It's awful to hold raw materials in your hand and have them feel cold and unyielding. When a skein of yarn becomes just that, rather than an inspiration, I get bummed.

I think it was just the result of the changes afoot around here - Daughter staring Kindergarten and learning to navigate new waters, both children being sick twice already since school started, AJ having surgery, going to endless MD appointments, experiencing the change of season...I watched a documentary about stress a few weeks ago and it said stress can actually make you "stupid" by messing with the chemistry of your brain. It also ages you by breaking down the protective portion of your DNA. I'm paraphrasing, and badly, but the show made me feel a lot better about how I feel, and how I have felt for several years now.

So anyway, I've been doing a lot of ripping. I start stuff, knit a little, hate it, rip it. All around my house I'm finding balls of discarded yarn, all wiggly looking on the outside from being unraveled and rewound.

Luckily, over the last week or so, the knitting mojo has returned. Phew! (I always panic a little bit when it's gone, because wow, what would I do with all this yarn if I quit knitting? Crisis!)

I started this several weeks ago for myself...and wow, do adult sweaters take forever to knit or what? I am spoiled by all the wee small things I've been knitting for the past 5 years. It's obviously just a basic neck-down cardigan, and I will blog more fully about it when it is complete. 1 and 3/4 sleeves to go and I'll have a cozy new winter garment.

It's kind of been a frenzy of starting - here are some socks, also for me, just begun from some Joann "sensations" (say it with jazz hands!) sock yarn. Very soft, nice colors, mindless and enjoyable. Nice.

Last week, two mornings in a row of low 40s temps had Daughter digging through her outerwear bin searching for mittens. All she came up with were two ratty looking mitts my mom knit for her two years ago. They're stained and getting too small. I quickly cast on for some new ones over the weekend.

And finally, a finished piece of knitwear! Man, it felt good to knit something start-to-finish. These are LTK picky pants, on their way out the door as a gift.

The startitis continues, with a pile of yarns and patterns collecting on my dining room table. When the mojo returns, it comes roaring back!

May you knit more than you rip. Happy makin'!

rant

Every once in awhile something really fries me and I feel the need to get it off my chest. Since no one really reads here anymore, and the risk of offending anyone is low, I guess I'll use this space.

A couple of days ago a really popular blogger posted about a decision her family has made regarding raising some livestock...which will then become their food. I think the real beef (no pun intended) her commenters had was with the naming of these animals by her children, but I got so tangled up in the comments I can't be sure.

Anyway, I applaud her decision to do this. I personally feel we are all quite far removed from the source of our foodstuffs, whether animal or vegetable, and families that teach their children at a young age that these animals are the source of that stuff on styrofoam trays at the supermarket are to be praised - in my opinion. Now, I am choosing to voice that opinion here, in this space that belongs to me. Anyone can do that, this is America, whee!

But many commenters went rather far. I noted several instances of people "questioning her parenting decisions" and saying they "would not be coming back" to her blog.

And that got my ire up!!! Wow! What a ballsy, rude, inappropriate response to a woman humbly sharing her family's new lifestyle. She did not say they are allowing their children to play in the middle of a 4-lane highway. She did not say they are allowing their children to handle toxic chemicals. She did not say anything, to my mind, REMOTELY OFFENSIVE or inappropriate. She just gently explained and introduced the animals that are joining their farm to assist with work (turning soil, making compost, etc) and eventually be butchered for food.

In the "old days" (a personal fascination of mine) you hunted meat to live. I'm sure many of those commenters west of the Mississippi wouldn't be making such comments if they really thought about how they came to be living where they are. Do you think pioneers in a wagon train 200 years ago had the luxury of feeling bad for the animals? Hell no. It was shoot Bambi or starve to death. The Ingalls family named their work horses (remember Sam and David, and Pet and Patty?) as well as their milk cow (it was Ellen), and there is a passage in The Long Winter where Ma tells the girls that they will butcher Ellen and the heifer calf if they must...to avoid starving to death. Did they want to? Of course not, but they would do it if they must.

To me it speaks of a pretty sissy attitude if you are upset with a family because they get a couple of pigs, name 'em, and then intend to eat them. Could I do it? I'm not sure. I'm kind of squeamish and I don't have a real good alternative right now to buying my meat on those styrofoam trays. But would I ever, ever, ever tell another person (or all that person's readership) that I disapprove of her parenting because of her choice? Please.

Yes, the internet is a worldwide, public forum. Yes, if you post something for all the world to see you are opening yourself up to potential criticism (I recall a shocking [to my mind] flap right here when I once said I thought people coming to church on Sunday unbathed and dressed as slobs was inappropriate...hoowee!). But that doesn't excuse people. How dare anyone question another person's parenting choices in a public forum...especially when it is about something like raising meat? I run across stuff all the time on the internet that makes me think, "wow, geez, that's not what I would do." But I keep it to myself, for pete's sake.

I must say, the blogger in question handled the issue with maturity and grace. But wow, did it make me mad.

today

The day dawned so, so beautifully...frost on the grass sparkled in the sunrise. It was cold, but so pretty.

Then I noticed the green stuff coming from my son's nose, and the disgusting viscous ooze coming from one of his ears. We spent the morning at the pediatrician's office and Target (where I spent $28 - that's $4 for the antibiotic and $24 for the other stuff I found while waiting for the medicine). When we got home I dumped the little guy in the bathtub to get rid of that yucky sick smell, then we cuddled on the sofa and nibbled some lunch.

Now the sun is gone, it is windy and cold, and the clouds are threatening. The breakfast and lunch dishes are waiting. I need to clean up the kitchen, fold the laundry, plan dinner. But I'm just sort of sitting here at the kitchen table amid the mess, watching the leaves blow off the enormous maple trees in the backyard...resting.

straight up retail therapy

Well, the past few weeks have chewed me up and spit me out the other side...guess I am intact!

My sister gifted me with an early birthday gift - a superfancy Cuisinart coffee maker to replace my old ghetto sunbeam model (with the smashed carafe). Oh, people. It is so good.

And late last week I was feeling low, so I browsed around online, clicking here and there, until I found a particularly good sale at fabric.com. I had a bit of money kicking around in my paypal account, so I decided to treat myself to some yarn that I certainly do not need! But ooooohhh, it is so pretty:

That's 11 skeins of Regia "Galaxy" sock yarn, and 8 balls of Rowan Cashsoft Aran. I've never worked with a Rowan yarn before, but at around $2.50/ball I jumped at the chance. This will become a beautiful, soft red cardigan for AJ. I have a lot, so I think I will make a bigger size to fit for several years. The Regia yarns were $2/skein. And by spending over $35, I got free shipping to boot.

It was retail therapy, plain and simple, and I am not ashamed. All that pretty showing up on my doorstep did, in fact, make me feel better!

just keep swimming...

Last night I smashed the coffee pot while I was washing it.

Couldn't have happened at a worse time, really, as we are in the throes of two insane weeks filled with medical appointments, surgery, days off of school, out-of-town visitors, and therapies. I am running as fast as I can and still totally not keeping up! Despite the fact that I feel I constantly do laundry, it is piling up faster than I can knock it down (it reproduces, right?), and I swear I just clean up the same pile of toys from the family room floor three times a day. Still it always looks like a bomb has gone off in here. Oy.

So we are french-pressing today and it's not really working for me. :(

Chin up, chin up...just have to get through one therapy session, one eye doctor appointment, and one early dismissal today, and I can crawl into my knitting basket for a few minutes of relaxation.