Wednesday, May 02, 2007

playgroup week 2: i hate playgroup!

PLEASE NOTE: There are many opinions expressed herein. You will not agree with everything I say. I am venting. Please don't leave me comments about how rotten I am.

We went to playgroup again this morning. There were more kids there this time...all boys. Crap. I really had hoped for a few more girls.

Some of the new boys did things like: communicate only in grunts; step on my Daughter during storytime (her ankle, but she is apparently fine); and throw toys! At my kid!

Which makes me wonder...what is the protocol for dealing with mothers you'd really love to punch in the face? Consider this exchange:

Toys whiz by Daughter's head as we exit playgroup. They clatter against the wall. I turn, stunned, to see where the toys come from, and there, at the other end of the room, is a mom with her rather large 3-year-old.

Other mom (to her child): Oh goodness! You need to say sorry!

Child: sorry.

Me, trying to make light of the fact that her kid almost took my kid's eye out: Oh, it's ok, nothing hit us!

Other mom: Oh, I know.

Me: ...

Notice that nowhere in there did the other mom tell her child that it is unacceptable to THROW SMALL PLASTIC OBJECTS ACROSS THE ROOM. What is wrong with people? Seriously! I guess it's ok to chuck toys around as long as you mumble a 'sorry' after you do it.

I hate to say this, especially about a 3-year-old, but the minute I saw this kid I thought, I don't like you. I know! It's terrible! He's only 3! But I could just tell by the look on his face and his mom's attitude that he was not a nice kid. She even told me (unapologetically) that "he's going through the raging 3s right now. He was so great at 2, but now..."

Ok, first let me say that this playgroup is specifically for children who are 2. TWO. Not 3. And really not "raging 3."

And also? If you know your child is kind of a terror, why bring him to a playgroup?!? If he does anything further to put my child in harm's way I will speak to the teacher. I just don't like the kid, and I don't trust his mother.

And I'm not finished. What is up with moms who think they don't have to clean up after their kid at snacktime? Daughter helps me clear her place and wipe any spills. There were a few moms who just left the stuff on the table when we went to storytime. Also irritating: the mom who brought snack today brought those little chocolate covered donuts (I think they are called "donettes" or something). Good grief. My daughter has never even had a real donut, by design, thanks. Why would you bring junk like that for 2-year-olds?!? Daughter didn't even eat it, nor did many others. She took one bite and spit it out. I can't blame her. At least the mom who brought juice brought 100% juice. I know, I know, I bring my kid to this playgroup and I have to live with the way things go. If the snack mom wants to bring crap, I can't say anything. But come on. I'm not saying you have to bring baby carrots or apple slices, but there are about a bazillion better-for-you snacks than little synthetic donuts. Gross.

Another mom brought a special organic super-duper healthy protein-packed cereal bar for her kid's snack (this is the kid who stepped on my kid's ankle), and then let him wander around the room with it, even though all the other kids sat nicely at the table. I fault the teacher for letting that happen. If it were my program, I'd have nicely asked the mother to sit her child down to eat.

I just...I just...AAAARRRRRRRRGH! Gah! I shake my fists at you, lame parents of the world! You are in charge of your kid! Believe it or not, you're bigger, technically you are smarter, and it is your JOB to guide your child in appropriate behavior. Yes, I understand some people give birth to a force of nature, and parenting is an uphill battle sometimes. There are days when I feel drained by bedtime because all I've done all day long is say, "no! don't touch that! stop kicking me! don't throw that! eat with your fork, please! no! no! no!" But I say those things because I have to, so my child will end up knowing how to behave and be a productive member of who other people will not want to avoid (see: holy terror child described above).

I realize I sound terribly judgemental here. And that's because I am being terribly judgemental. It is hard not to do so when the evidence is so clear that some folks let their child run the show. I loathe the thought of sending my daughter to school with kids from homes like that. At least when that happens she will be 4 or 5 and better prepared for it. And hopefully no one will throw anything at her.

I hate playgroup.

But we'll be going back next week, because guess what? Daughter had a great time.

In addition I must add that I chatted with many nice moms/grandmas and their children were mostly very sweet. Sometimes just a few bad apples really spoil the bunch. And again, I'm just venting here.


Karen said...

Dude. I hate to tell you this, but . . . they'll do more than just throw toys and step on her ankle. They'll teach her cool words like "freakin' awesome" and what a "flip off" is and all kinds of other choice things that you've worked so hard to shield her from.

It stinks. It t o t a l l y stinks.

And for the record: when I'm in play type situations and I'm right there when another child offends my child (taking toys, spitting, hitting, etc.) I WILL ask that child nicely to not do it again. I don't care if his/her mother is in the room. If I'm right there I will say something gently and politely. Especially if my child is younger and the other child is older.

Pam said...

The things we do for our kids, right? :) I totally understand where you're coming from and hope it gets better - SOON!

HangerMom said...

After a day that's been heavy on the "no"s and "you may not act like that"s, I fully feel your pain. I can't stand mom's who let their kids run wild in public - it makes the children's museums and the zoos and the play groups miserable some days.

And seriously? Little chocolate donuts? I mean, I love donuts, my kids love donuts (cause I love them so much I had to share that joy with them :), but I would NEVER take that as a snack for someone else. Good grief. I'd definitely rather feed them a big pile of goldfish and fruit snacks or something, and that's junky enough!

Karen said...

Oh yeah! Ditto on the snacks, Hangermom!!!

"Grandi" said...

Unfortunately this mom and a bunch like her have bought into the notion that you can reason with a toddler and that just by chatting with them they will hear, understand and become model citizens! And, anyway, no harm no foul! After all, don't you realize - their little darling is just adorable - even when he is being a "raging 3"!!
Hang in there good moms!! You will raise kids you really will be proud of!