Friday, May 23, 2014

is this thing on?


My baby graduated from preschool yesterday. My sweet baby boy, nearly six years old (his birthday will be on the first day of Kindergarten this September), and I am left wondering where the time went.

This was a challenging fall/winter/spring for me. In large part due to the weather, which, let's be honest, really stunk, and all the driving hither and yon to preschool and speech therapy. And also in part due to the transition we are making as a family. My kids are growing by leaps and bounds, after nearly eleven years of marriage some rough edges are showing (nothing dire, just typical stuff), my 24-hours-a-day time as 'provider of all things' is drawing to a close, and I am faced with what my own future holds. I have felt raggedy and cranky a lot so blogging went out the window because who wants to read that?

You hear so much about what is involved with caring for newborns, infants, toddlers, preschoolers...but not much about what comes next (other than the fact that teens are difficult, but duh, we all know that). What I mean is, where does my focus need to be now? How much does my life become about me? Should I immediately go out and try to find work, like most people seem to expect? Do I get a little "time off" to regroup and just sort of rediscover myself? Is that selfish? Shall I volunteer for every activity at my childrens' school now that I can actually be there whenever I want to be? Should I go all out and really increase my etsy business, to see if that is a viable way to make some income for our family?

I have no answers right now, only questions.

Oh, and about a ton of unfinished projects, ideas for projects, supplies for I will start there, and make these next few months about trying to settle down, untangle the knots, focus, and catch myself up.

1 comment:

Shari said...

Glad to see you back, I've always enjoyed reading here.
It's hard as the children grow to define your changing role. I had a hard time letting go of my love of parenting small children and ended up becoming a foster parent.
Looking forward to reading here again