I am so exhausted. When I finally lay my head down at night the room spins. Our son has now spent all of his 5 weeks of life in the hospital, and it won't end soon. His surgery is still a week away (next Wednesday the 15th), and then there will be recovery, and our education as to how we care for him. And the bills have just started to roll in. Heaven help me.
I don't want to drive back and forth to the hospital even one more stinking time. And have I mentioned that the route to the hospital takes me right past the cemetery where my daughter is buried? How fun is that? But I can't skip even one day or I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I get about 2 precious hours with my son each day. The whole thing just sucks.
The knitting has not fallen by the wayside, believe it or not. I finished up a couple of sweaters before the birth, and since then I have managed two pumpkin hats for my two little pumpkins. Baby's is way too big, but Daughter's is a-ok.
Photo credit goes to my mom, who, along with my dad, took Daughter to a local farm last weekend. Thank God for my parents, without whom I would be totally dead right now.
Anyway, that there is the ubiquitous fruit hat, knit in Knitpicks Wool of the Andes (colors: pumpkin and fern) and the Knitting Pure and Simple children's neck-down cardigan with the knitted collar option, knit in Lion Brand Fisherman (color: nature's brown). For the record, one skein of that yarn is enough for this sweater in the smallest size (2-4 years, I believe), making it one of the cheapest heavy wool sweaters ever - about 6 bucks. Hey, I am stressed out and anxious beyond belief, but I am still frugal. I wish I could show the awesome wooden toggle buttons on the front, but all the front shots show her face and you all know how I feel about faces on the blog. They're gorgeous, though.
Time to go pump breastmilk. Now I know how dairy cows feel. Sheesh.
5 comments:
Oh Kate - There just aren't any words. Like you said, it just plain sucks and yet you keep on going and keep on hanging in there because you have to. Sometimes that's all there is to it - and it sucks, but you are doing it.
As always, your knitting is absolutely beautiful and you know if I was in the neighborhood I would bring you a casserole;-)
I actually never imagined that knitting would fall by the wayside ... knitting is what gets me through, and I always imagine it does my knitting friends, too.
And what you're having to get through! Please know that I'm thinking of you and DH and Daughter and most of all your sweet baby boy. I will be praying for him next Wednesday.
And if I lived closer, I'd bring over a casserole, too. But first I'd coordinate with Pam, so you wouldn't have to eat the same dinner two nights in a row. ;)
Send you, the little one, and the family lots and lots of love.
i havent' been reading your blog long, and i saw your comment about driving past your daughter's grave site. I read back through your archive, and you are an incredibly amazing person. my heart aches for all that you have gone and are going through. if it helps at all, my thoughts are with your family daily.
shelley
Thinking of you today with your little guy's surgery.
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