there but for the grace of God go I

Thank you for bearing with me through that last post. It was a rough weekend. Sometimes Hubs and I do not work in tandem and there were a few days there where I felt we were just at odds, especially in the parenting department. We farmed Daughter out to Grandma and Papa on Sunday night because I had an early MD appointment in the city on Monday, and the break did us all good. This morning she was actually quite agreeable and we all seem to be back on track. Mostly.

Speaking of this morning, as if I don't have enough on my plate, we got to pay a visit to the premier pediatric cardiologist in our area. At Daughter's 3 year well-check the doctor thought she detected a slight abnormality in her heart rate. It was around 120 bpm at rest, which she thought was high. We went for bloodwork (which came back normal) and then had an EKG done at the pediatrician's office. This showed a very tiny blip before each beat, indicating the possibility of a problem. So they sent us to this pediatric cardiologist.

I must say upfront that Daughter is perfectly fine. The doctor said she has a beautiful heart and he sees no problem at all. The pediatrician was just erring on the side of caution and that's fine with us - and thank goodness for good medical insurance. She had another EKG and an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) this morning and I can't imagine how much that costs. We will have to pay a bit, but insurance will cover the majority of it.

I will tell you all this much: if you are lucky enough, as we are, to have been blessed with a healthy child (or children), be thankful. I have been in silent communication with God ever since leaving the cardiologist this morning, thanking Him for one beautifully healthy child and, quite frankly, straight-up asking for another.

While in the waiting room this morning we saw a baby so tiny I thought he must only be a few weeks old. Then I heard the mother say "13 weeks" and I can only imagine how small he was at birth. We saw a little girl (2 and a half according to her mother) who was obviously developmentally disabled, but very sweet and energetic, with a huge scar running down her chest (she was running around with no shirt on for some reason). Her mother said she had open heart surgery at 4 months. What challenges have they faced? What will they face as she grows up? My heart went out to them. There was also a young mother with a little boy named Jose, in process of being adopted from another country. Did they know he had a heart problem before? Or is this something they discovered after they got him? While being led to an examining room, we saw a little girl who was on oxygen. What is life like for her? What will it be like as she grows up?

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears in that place. Everyone was so kind - all the nurses and techs and the doctor himself - and I can't say how grateful I am that we were able to walk out of there and not look back. All those families, all those little kids whose hearts aren't functioning as they should...even now I am fighting back tears.

There but for the grace of God, indeed.