thoughts on giving

Today I took the kids to story hour at the library. It's been a crummy week here, cold and dark and gray, and Hubs and I are both battling a headcold/cough/sinus thing. Luckily the kids remain healthy, so maybe this germ is one they've already had (*knocking on wood.*)

So anyway, we left the library and scooted to the car, and my son just refuses to keep mittens on his hands, no matter what I do. If I manage to get them both all the way on, he uses his teeth to pull them off, that is how hateful he finds mittens to be. And folks, it is 12 degrees F right now, plus it is windy. Horrid, horrid coldness.

Daughter plunged into the snow outside the library, so she got in the car all snowy and even colder than she had to be, aarrrgh. Then I hoisted AJ out of the stroller in his big puffy snowsuit and buckled him in as quickly as possible with my bare hands (can't do carseat buckles wearing mittens!).

Finally I got around back of the car to shove the library books, diaper bag, my purse, my knitting bag, and the stroller all in the back, and while doing so I caught the eye of another mom doing the same thing, two cars down. She made a groaning sound and said "it's so cold!" I replied, "this is ridiculous!" And then she said, "this is HURTING!"

And she was right, it WAS hurting. When I finally jumped in the car, my hands were cold, sore, dry, and a funny reddish-purple color. I held them in front of the heat vents, which were going full blast.

Then we drove home in our nice warm car to our nice warm house to eat a nice warm lunch.

And I got to thinking, as I have been a lot lately, about people who do not have that option. We are all giving to the people of Haiti right now, or to the organizations that are helping the people of Haiti, correct? We're having telethons, and donating in the grocery store checkout line...and it's all good. It is definitely good, and necessary, and the right thing to do from a human compassion standpoint. But I find it frustrating that people are so willing to give to this poor country when our own citizens are out there freezing right now.

In our city there is a program called "code blue" that goes into effect when the outside temps dip below a certain level. Shelters are opened to take in homeless people, so that no one has to lose body parts to frostbite or, God forbid, freeze to death. They are featured on the nightly news when it is really cold outside, asking for donations of blankets, jackets, socks.

We have also been hearing about how people are going to food banks in record numbers right now, and the food banks are facing empty shelves. Everyone is willing to give at Christmas, when our wallets are collectively open and giving is on everyone's mind. But how about now, and for the rest of the year? How about remembering the single mom raising her kids on crappy wages, or the grandmother raising several grandchildren in her tiny apartment on a tiny social security check? Or the father and husband, swallowing his pride and going to ask for a bag of food to get his family through the week while he searches for a new job in a difficult economy?

Now, I'm a conservative on most issues, I'm of a capitalist mindset, and I fully believe in pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. But I also know enough to recognize when one does not even have the bootstraps to pull - it could happen to any of us. That's why, in these unsure times, I'm trying to be frugal and save and be the best steward of our money and assets that I can be. But there are people out there who truly need some help, even if just temporarily...maybe only once. It is a horrible thing to have to put your hand out and ask for help, from a pride standpoint.

So when we're in line at the supermarket and they ask us to donate to the people of Haiti, do it, if you're so inclined. And then throw a dollar or two to your local food bank, to help our neighbors here at home.

for pretty's sake

For the past several years I've really been on a "make useful things" kick (probably stating the obvious, huh?). I used to be a big embroiderer, but I stopped when I started having kids. I couldn't see the point of using my time to stitch little motifs when I could make clothing and useful household items instead.

But lately I've been struggling to find things to do with my daughter that we would both enjoy. For about the last 3 or 4 months she's been peppering me with questions when I work, wanting to try everything I am doing (including cooking, baking, ironing, caring for AJ, etc) but she's been a bit too small and a bit too young for most of it.

Last night she kept me company at the kitchen table while I stitched up a quick, simple half-curtain for the bathroom window, keeping busy going through my threads and sewing supplies. She asked a million questions and wanted to know when she could PUH-LEEEEZE sew something. Today I decided we'd go for it while the baby took his nap.



I can't even believe how well she did. She will be 5 in April, and she has always had excellent fine motor skills, but I still didn't expect much. I loaded up a hoop for her, drew three lines for flower stems, and gave her some green embroidery floss and the biggest embroidery needle I had that would go through the fabric.



She stitched along the lines perfectly. Then she added flower buttons at the top of the stems. All I did was tie the knots in the floss and get her started. Then she was off and running with no further help from mama.



Three flowers and a ladybug. Wow. I am very, very proud of my little girl.



I worked on this little bug while Daughter stitched. It's about 4 inches across and I used variegated blue floss. Not sure what I will do with it, but I guess that doesn't matter. Sometimes it's nice to make things just because they're pretty.

bread

How much would a loaf of bread have to cost before you'd quit buying bread?

I've been chewing on that one for awhile now. Regular, inexpensive wheat sandwich bread is about $1.50 here, and I buy two loaves each week (we eat a ton of sandwiches, as Hubs takes one for lunch each day and usually Daughter and I each have one, so that's 6 slices minimum per day). I buy that because it's relatively cheap and convenient, but I would rather have better. However, the in-store baked good stuff, like honey-oat-apple, and hearty multigrain, costs about $4 for a small loaf.

$4! For a loaf of bread! Our grandparents and great-grandparents would just barf. Gosh, even our parents remember when bread cost a nickel.

If bread can go from a nickel a loaf to, on average, say $2.50 for a decent loaf of wheat, what will the price get to in our lifetime?

Now, I'm not one of these peak oil activist types, and I hang onto the hope that we will continue to have enough fuels to keep things humming, but I am enough of a realist to know that things aren't getting any cheaper. The cost of fuel affects EVERYTHING. As oil and gas continue to rise in price, all our goods and services will as well. It costs the farmer more to produce the crops, costs the truckers more to haul the wheat to the mill, costs the mill more to process the grain, then again costs the truckers to haul the flour to factories, etc, etc.

So maybe a better question is, how expensive does gasoline have to get before you quit buying bread? If bread is $5 per loaf will you buy it? How about $10? It could totally happen. Our grandparents probably couldn't imagine bread going from 5 cents to well over $3 for some loaves. How about if gas itself costs $5 or more per gallon? How many trips would you be willing to make to the store each month?

I'm guessing fuel prices will continue to rise. Prices of goods will rise as well, and that quick run to the supermarket to grab 3 or 4 things will start looking like a bad idea. Inflation is likely, and we are already seeing wages stagnate while prices rise. Just watch the nightly news and you'll see it.

My plan is to slowly move my family away from total dependence on the supermarket. I've been simply devouring blogs about growing, processing, and storing food lately, and it is certainly feasible, though a lot of work. But I don't like feeling that I would be totally lost if for some reason the supermarket became inaccessible to me.

I want to build a small raised garden this summer and grow some lettuces, tomatoes, maybe cukes, some peppers, herbs...as much as I can with my extremely limited knowledge and experience. And I am going to make bread-baking a part of our daily lives around here.

I am blessed to have a kitchenaid mixer. Oh, thank heavens for this amazing machine.

My dad, who taught me most of what I know about yeast baking, buys high-gluten flour in 50lb bags. He splits it with me, and we store it in these old cookie containers. They are perfect for the job - not too heavy. I combine flours - about 2 cups of this, and 4-5 cups of unbleached AP flour or a blend of AP plus whole wheat, depending on my mood.

We purchase yeast from our club store (BJ's) in a two-pound double pack for $3.69, and take one pound each. I use the supermarket brand shortening (generic Crisco) because it doesn't affect the flavor (I save my real Crisco for pies where you'd notice). I buy the huge can and keep it in the fridge to prevent rancidity.

It takes maybe 5 minutes to mix up the ingredients, including heating the milk/sugar/salt/shortening mix on the stove. The dough hook on the kitchenaid makes short work of kneading, but if you don't have a powerful mixer with a dough attachment, this can certainly be done by hand. You must knead for 8-10 minutes if by hand, while the machine can do it in about 5-6 minutes.

After kneading, you simply put the dough in a greased bowl (I use cooking spray), cover it with a clean white flour sack towel or something similar, and then cover/wrap the bowl all snuggly-wuggly in a blanket to keep the dough warm.

Kneading is also a great job for kids. Here I am enslaving my daughter - this is after the first rise. We have knocked the dough down and are preparing it for the pans.

Plunk the bread into greased pans - this recipe makes two loaves, but I split it into one loaf and 6 rolls to use for our dinner of french onion burgers tonight - and allow to rise again. This is at the end of the 2nd rise. You can see how high the loaf has risen above the edge of the bread tin.

After 30 minutes in the oven, you'll be rewarded with the lightest, most delicious bread you've ever eaten. Makes the storebought stuff taste like pasty cardboard.

Who wouldn't want a burger on one of these babies?

I couldn't stop myself from splitting open a still-hot roll and loading it up with sweet, fresh, salty butter. SO GOOD. Actually, so far I've eaten that and two slices of the loaf.

If I can do this in the nice weather, and then run out back for some lettuce and other salad supplies from the garden, then all I have to keep in the freezer is meat. I can reduce my need to load up my grocery cart! I can spend less money! This bread recipe costs about 50 cents, I think.

And making bread is not as time-consuming or difficult as most people believe. It is experiencing a resurgence in my generation that makes me so, so happy. What a great thing, to be able to create this basic staple for your family, free of preservatives and mystery ingredients. It does take practice to get a good, light loaf with a good crumb. I used to make really sh*tty bread! But with practice and patience (can't rush the rise!), I've gotten pretty good at it. Oh - you can even use a bread machine just for the mixing and kneading, but I recommend baking in the oven in real bread tins.

Tomorrow, my birthday, is to be a baking day. On the agenda: pumpkin bread (to use up some canned pumpkin I opened last week), english muffin loaves (so delicious, and waaaaaayyy cheaper than buying english muffins), and cookies if time permits.

***

Basic White Bread

1/2 c milk

3 Tbsp sugar

2 tsp salt

3 Tbsp shortening (can use butter or marg)

2 packages active dry yeast (mine is bulk, so I use about 2.5 Tbsp here)

1.5 c warm water (105-115F)

5-6 c AP flour (or a mix)

Heat milk, sugar, salt, and shortening in a small pan over low heat until fat melts and sugar dissolves. Cool to lukewarm.

Dissolve yeast in warm water in large bowl (mixer bowl if using a mixer). Add milk mixture and 4.5 cups flour. If using mixer, attach dough hook and mix about 1 minute.

Continuing to mix, add remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, and mix until dough is slightly sticky to the touch. If using a kitchenaid, dough will cling to hook and clean sides of bowl.

Knead about 5-6 minutes by machine, or 8-10 minutes by hand, till dough is smooth and elastic. Place dough in greased bowl, cover, let rise in warm place for about 1 hour or till doubled.

Punch dough down and divide in half. Shape each half into a loaf (or rolls if desired), and place in greased bread tins. Cover, let rise in warm place about 1 hour or till doubled.

Bake loaves at 400F for 30 minutes - if top browns too quickly, loosely cover with foil. Bake rolls for about 15-20 minutes. Remove from pans immediately and cool on wire racks.

***

There are a gajillion recipes and resources related to breadmaking on the web. I'd be happy to try and answer any questions anyone might have. Please do let me know if you try making bread!

w.w.c.d.?

Aaahhh, two loaves of bread in the oven, one child asleep, other child miraculously keeping herself entertained...let's see if I can get a whole post written!

First, thanks so much for the awesome response to what I wrote on Monday. It was really a vent for me, and it felt mighty good to get it out. But I meant what I said, and I'm really changing my views on a lot of things lately.

One of the awesome things I read over at Down-To-Earth was the fact that Rhonda Jean doesn't view her knitting and sewing as "pleasures" per se. She definitely finds the activity pleasurable, but does not set out to knit or sew for the fun of it. Rather, she knits, sews, etc. to meet a need in her household, and then enjoys doing it, and takes pride in the accomplishment.

That really got me thinking!

Now, I know this is going to sound like about the hokiest thing anyone has ever blogged, but sometimes when something needs doing and there are several ways around it, I think...are you ready? Seriously? Ready? I think: What Would Caroline Do?

All right, get up off the floor and stop laughing. I'm completely serious here! What would Caroline Ingalls do, ladies? And the thing is, I know the answer. Oh yes I do, and not just because I'm an expert on all things LHOTP. I know the answer because I know the kind of woman Caroline was. She was a woman who could make do, I'll tell you what. Who remembers that chapter in The Long Winter where the Ingalls family runs out of lamp oil? And Caroline makes a light out of some fat, a scrap of fabric, and a button placed in a saucer - a button lamp!

And one of my favorite, favorite passages in any book ever is the chapter in Little Town on the Prairie ("Blackbirds") which describes the clothes Laura and Ma are making for Mary to take to college. Aaaahhh, swoon! I have loved this particular chapter of this particular book since I was a child. I've pictured, over and over, the lovely handmade brown cashmere dress with the brown and blue plaid overskirt, all trimmed in shirred strips of brown and blue plaid with red and golden threads running through it...the high collar of plaid with "a gathered length of machine made lace" fitted inside.

This chapter also describes how they made Mary four new white petticoats, two gray flannel petticoats, and three red flannel union suits. Laura carefully hand stitched the 6 yards of knitted lace she'd made to the bottom hem of one of the white petticoats, and she trimmed the flannel petticoats and union suits with pretty contrast stitching. They had no patterns for any of this - Ma had a dressmaker's chart, a measuring tape, and newspaper to make patterns from.

Boy, oh boy. I do so love reading and re-reading this chapter! I close my eyes and imagine myself having to walk to town, purchase the "dress goods" with what precious little money the family had (if you recall, a good portion of Mary's college money came from Laura working in town - can you imagine your children giving of themselves that way???), then coming home with no patterns, just the skills my mother taught me...to make an entire wardrobe by hand for my child to go off to college. And though the items were so beautiful, these women took no particular pride in the making - they did it because that is what you had to do. There was no mall, there was no Target. Sometimes there wasn't even a mercantile that carried ready-made clothing. If you needed it, you had to make it, and cutting corners was not an option (ie: Laura giving 6 yards of handknitted lace to Mary for a gift, then stitching them on her petticoat...which no one would ever really see.)

It makes me look with different eyes on the overflowing drawers in Daughter's room, and the overflowing shelves bulging with little boy clothes in AJ's room. Made in Sri Lanka, made in Vietnam, made in China.

Made by mama.

Now that AJ is officially large and in charge, and we have so much less worry, I'm considering dusting off the sewing machine again. Because I can, and because my kids need and deserve some good quality, handmade, basic clothing made by mama's hands. I can find the time to do it - here's the important part - if I make it a part of my household duties.

Warm wool socks for Hubs.

There was a time when a woman wouldn't have been considered very good wife material if she couldn't cook, bake, clean, sew, mend, and knit for her family. I am thrilled to say I can do all of those things with some degree of proficiency, because I learned them at my mother's (and father's) knee, and I have practiced them to become proficient.

I am proud of my ability to provide these things for my husband and children. And there is no reason why it can't be a part of my household duties to make items that will be used and worn by all of us.

Future dishcloths.

Everyone has certain needs, right? We need clothing, shelter, food, heat...and we have been trained, as a society, for the past 100 years to outsource as much of that as possible. And for what, exactly? So we can play the Wii? So we can drive the kids to activities where they interact with other kids in the same way they SHOULD be interacting out in the backyard? So we can watch more TV? So we can sit at the computer?

What, exactly, are we doing instead of providing all these basics for our families? Back in the day, the Caroline Ingalls day, everyone worked really hard. But how many old stories do you read that say "we were poor, but we were happy?" Am I the only one who feels better at the end of a day when I worked really hard and got some stuff done, rather than sitting around in sweats watching TV? (I'm not saying we should never relax, I'm speaking in generalizations a bit here.)

I don't think my kids need more plastic toys. I think they need a lot less. Of everything. Except time and attention. I think my kids need to learn to cook, bake, sew, knit, mend, and fix things (and yes, that goes for both genders). I love the passage in one of the Little House books where Laura goes to sleep watching Ma's knitting needles flashing in the firelight as she knits red woollen socks for Pa. My kids will look back on memories of falling asleep to the sounds of goofy sitcoms on the television. And maybe that's not terrible. But at least they will be falling asleep under handmade quilts and blankets, with a tummy full of warm, homemade foods. Of that, at least, I think Caroline would approve.

living simply and appreciating what i have

I know I've been away for 2 weeks...didn't exactly mean to do that, but whenever I went to blog, a few things stopped me in my tracks. The first being my son, who is now a full-on toddler. He literally never sits still unless he is eating or sleeping. There's barely any time for me to sit down and blog when all I have is his 2-hour naptime to get things done. I mean, I can't even empty the dishwasher when he is awake, as he will climb into it. The second reason I've been quiet is that my husband reloaded my computer with windows 7, and now our really, really old digital camera won't talk to my computer. I have to figure out a way to make it work, or else use a different computer to upload photos, or something. I'm sure not going to replace a perfectly functional camera just because of stupid windows 7.

And the third, most compelling reason, is that I've been thinking. A lot.

Just before Christmas I discovered a new-to-me blog, Down-To-Earth. Since then I've spent hours prowling through her archives, reading about her simple life. And as a result, I've been devouring as many other blogs as I can find about simple living, how to make and do and make do.

See, we moved our family to Affluent Town last year because we grew up here and want our children to have the benefit of the excellent school district. Now, we are not what I would call affluent - we have enough to pay our bills, enough for a few of the things we want, and enough in savings to feel relatively comfortable. But we do not take vacations, rarely eat out, don't often purchase new clothes or shoes, etc. I started out being frugal because I had to be (I certainly was not always frugal...see: my whole life before age 26). But I'm becoming more and more frugal because I want to be.

Here in Affluent Town, high school students don't usually ask each other if they have a car...they ask each other what kind of car their parents are giving them for their 16th birthday. Yes, there are a few beaters in the high school parking lot, but there are just as many Lexuses and other fancy cars. Most of the kids have better cars than the teachers, I am not even joking.

Our house is a modest 1960s split-level, 1750 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, attached 2-car garage, nice big backyard. Around here this is considered a "starter house" by many. To us, it is a palace! We don't ever anticipate needing more room than we have, and if we are to move again, it will likely be to a house of similar size. For the foreseeable future, we intend to stake our claim here, maintaining and slowly updating this home where necessary.

I am so grateful to have this warm, dry, safe home that I want to do everything I can to hang onto it. As stay-home-mom and homemaker, I am the CEO of this place, and as such I've come to see it as my job to care for and make last the house and all the items in it. We regularly drive by much, much larger and fancier houses than ours, and just as often pass very small cottage-like houses that were built before Affluent Town became affluent. I am very, very happy right in the middle.

Conspicuous consumption has started to make me uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable, actually. It makes me a little bit sick. Take, for example, my mother-in-law: she has lived in her current home for 4 years. When they moved in she bought all new bedding and accessories for her bedroom. Now, she is completely replacing everything, including purchasing many extra pillows and accessories...and a FIREPLACE (fake). She is so jazzed to show this stuff off...but then we look around their house and see the broken fridge (it is held up by a piece of wood on one corner), hear stories of a leak in their basement that they just can't afford to fix, and eat with silverware that is destroyed from being used as 'tools' for years by my father-in-law (who does not own decent tools and can't be bothered to go find them anyway when a fork or butterknife will do).

In my house? We have had the same bedding since we got married. We have nice dishes that we received as wedding gifts, but we reserve those for guests (we do not have china, just nicer everyday dishes). In my kitchen I use the dishes my parents got when we were kids from turning in receipts at the supermarket - do you remember those deals they had back in the 80s? Well, those are the dishes I use. Some are missing, but they are perfectly functional, neutral, and hard-wearing for use with children. My flatware is my dear Grandmother's regular kitchen flatware that I remember using at her house when I was really little. She died over 20 years ago, so you can imagine how old this flatware is. I have it all with the exception of one butterknife. No one knows what happened to it - it was gone before I "inherited" the set (read: grabbed it when we packed up the house after she died). So I have plenty of plain and simple things that work, and all of our furniture and appliances are in good repair...unlike my crazy mother-in-law!

My husband also grew up in a house of "if it's broken, throw it out and buy a new one." I did not. So this past weekend I went to the store and bought a tube of superglue to repair 4, count 'em 4, toys that would have otherwise been useless.

I also sewed buttons back on my husband's pea coat - including one I had to rob from the collar to make a full set on the front. The fabric is not worn out, so I keep repairing the pocket linings and re-sewing the buttons. I was telling my mom about it today, and she said maybe he needs a new coat. When I said that would be $100, she said that's a good price for a coat. Well, yes it is, but if you don't actually NEED the coat, is it still a good price? Hubs and I have both been wearing the same navy pea coats for about 6 or 7 years. I have them dry-cleaned every season or two; they are good, warm coats that hold up well. Do I peruse catalogs and sometimes wish for a new coat? Oh heck yes. I have long coveted a red or camel tailored wool coat. But my coat is still good and who am I trying to impress? So forget it, that $100 can go toward something we need much more.

In addition to that I did something really far out - I sewed up the toes of two socks that Hubs wears all the time (work socks, not sweat socks). Whoa. I have never done that before. I mean, socks are cheap, right? You can totally throw them out and go buy a pack at Target! But if you can put that off, why not? Each of us received a Target gift card from Hubs' grandmother for Christmas. My challenge to myself is to see how long I can leave them untouched. I am hoping to use them for seasonal necessities as the weather warms up this coming Spring (shorts and shirts for the kids, undergarments, socks, etc).

I've also been spending lots of time in the kitchen - living simply, as I've read and discovered, is a lot of work - baking and preparing and storing food. Last week I made a coffee cake, muffins, and dinner rolls, and today it was cookies, pizza dough, and pizza sauce. All totally from scratch, all delicious. The freezer is stocked and I spent pennies.

The thing is, Hubs goes to work each day so I don't have to. I am able to stay in my home and raise my children as I see fit. He earns the money, but I spend almost all of it. That's really quite a burden when you think about it. How would I feel if I was the one going to an office every morning, dealing with corporate B.S., attending meetings, driving around town doing tasks...only to come home and find out my husband spent the day buying crap at discount stores, fed McDonald's to the kids, and cooked nothing for dinner? If he is going to work to earn the money and provide the food, clothing and shelter we all need, then it is for sure my job to be the best steward of those things that I can possibly be.

Does that mean never spending money on anything fun? Nope! Just yesterday we decided Hubs would take Daughter to see "Curious George Live" - her first theatre experience! Someone gave us a free ticket voucher, so we figured we could spring for the other ticket. Because I push frugality in other areas, we are easily able to absorb a little fun spending on a show. And when I'm out shopping and I decide to pick up a couple skeins of sock yarn at Joann's (with coupons, of course!), I do not deny myself that $10 or $12. I figure since I spend all my time cleaning up other people's messes, I deserve a treat once in awhile. :)

So that's kind of where I am right now. I go through my day wondering how I can simplify things, cleaning out cupboards and cabinets and closets, reorganizing, deciding what I truly need versus what I want. Shopping based on need only. We work too hard to waste. I never want to fall on hard times and look around me at piles of stuff, wondering where it went wrong. I want to instill good values in my kids, and teach them to respect and appreciate what they have. It's going to be a real challenge here in our new home, surrounded by kids who have so much. The urge to keep up will be strong. But I think if we stick to our guns and strive to keep it simple, we'll end up happier in the long run.

first F.O. of the new year

Oh, how I wanted to start this year off right. I wanted to get up early, get showered, make the coffee, and be ready to greet my children with a smile. But you know what they say about the best laid plans, the road to hell, etc. My good intentions were not enough, and I barely dragged myself out of bed before the children were hopping around like jumping beans, my son trying to fling himself down every available staircase (and in a split level, there are many), and Daughter informing me of the time quite literally every single minute as she played with an old digital watch she found somewhere in the house.

The house is a mess, as usual. Hubs gave it a good straightening before he went to bed last night (I had fallen asleep much earlier), so it's not a COMPLETE disaster, but the floors are dusty and covered with...bits. Of what, I don't know, but I can see them. Ugh. AJ's occupational therapist is coming in just over an hour, and I either have to go clean the powder room or pray really hard that she doesn't have to pee when she gets here.

I guess I could have taken care of all that over the weekend but I was too busy obsessing over this:



I know the photo looks really wonky, but in real life the blanket is somewhat square. I am so, so, so pleased with it! I finished the borders last night, then sewed all the little ends in and gave it a swish in the washer with Eucalan (some of these wools are quite old and who knows where the balls have been?), then laid it out on a towel overnight. Our house is dry as the desert right now so it dried quickly. The squares opened up nicely (I crochet like I knit...tightly!) and it feels so soft now.

It measures about 2X3 feet, so will be a wee crib blanket for AJ. It's made of mostly Paton's Classic Merino, with lots of Lion Fisherman Wool (all squares are joined with that, in the oatmeal colorway). There are also a few other yarns in there, like Knitpicks Wool of the Andes, some Ella Rae Classic, and possibly scraps of Lion Wool, I'm not sure. I used a size H crochet hook (5mm, or I guess the equivalent of a size 8 knitting needle, for comparison).

I'd forgotten how much crochet totally hogs yarn. I blew through most of a huge 400+ yard skein crocheting around each square and putting on a couple borders in that oatmeal color. I'd also forgotten how much it hurts my hands. Booooo. But it was a great little project for using up scraps, engaging in meditative thought, and feeling a sense of satisfaction in getting done quickly (I started it Christmas eve and finished yesterday).

Back to knitting for a bit...but there is more crochet in my future!

01-01-10

Ah, silence. Baby is napping, Daughter and Hubs went out on some adventure involving tacos, the merry-go-round at the mall, and possibly snowman building if the snow keeps up.

I've washed, ironed, mended, bathed (self and children), cleaned up the kitchen, and am settling down with some needlework for the New Year.



Isn't that just about the happiest photo? I love, love, love it. Such pretty little grannies. I've made 28, and will go make 2 more once I've written this post. Then I'll be able to make a little 6X5 blanket to keep my baby (baby? who are we kidding? TODDLER) warm. I'll be edging each square with one more round of a neutral yarn, then joining them and working a couple borders around the whole thing. I think it's going to be great! And - the best part - I only have a few little tiny balls of wool now, to stash away for future projects like this. Maybe another year or two from now I'll have enough for another small project, but I'm quite self-satisfied having used up my leftovers!

Then on to some other projects I've been meaning to make for some time. A lacy curtain panel for the window in my front door, some new dishcloths to replace the hideous old ones currently in rotation, perhaps some dishtowels and bibs. As an aside, do all you knitters, crocheters, and needleworkers browse company websites like Lion Brand, Coats & Clark, DMC, etc. for free patterns? There are literally hundreds and hundreds of absolutely free, easy, wonderful patterns out there for the taking. I've got a bunch in my mental queue.

But first up, finishing that little blanket...

I wish you all a warm, snuggly, yarn-filled first day of 2010!

2009 knits in review

Well, my completed sewing for 2009 was pretty pathetic...one sundress for Daughter and one quilt completed that sat around since 2004.

At least the knitting was more impressive (to me, anyway). Here's the breakdown:

2 pair wooly pants/longies for AJ
16 soakers (both personal and sold through Etsy)
9 pair socks (5 adult, 4 kid)
5 sweaters (4 baby, 1 kid)
3 vests (1 baby, 2 kid)
3 Christmas stockings
3 hats (1 adult, 2 baby)
4 dolly garments
5 ornaments
28 granny squares (technically not knitting, but I am counting them anyway)

Holy crap. That's 59 total items without the granny squares, and counting each sock separately.

Unfortunately, the one project I said I wanted to finish this year was a Central Park Hoodie...and I didn't make it. The parts are all knit, and the shoulders have been joined. I need to pick up the gazillion stitches around the front bands and neck, and knit the ribbing and hood, then sew the sleeves in and it will be done. Maybe sometime in the next couple months...

For now I have the crazy idea to knit socks for my 3 peeps (2 easy, small pairs, 1 giant pair) for Valentine's Day gifts, and I have to get going on baby items. There are 2 very special babes on the way, one in April and one in July, and they need some warm wooly knits!

And then there's the Etsy shop, which needs serious attention and restocking. Busy, busy, busy. But that's ok. Looking back one year ago to the posts I was writing in January of 2009, I see how far I have come with my little family. I have truly taken Elizabeth Zimmerman's advice to heart: "knit on, with confidence and hope, through all crises."

I wish you all a happy, blessed new year. May 2010 bring you peace and joy.

mindless/mindful

Ah, Christmas. The whole season and holiday seems to whiz by faster and faster each year. Feels like we just put up the tree, yet it was over 3 weeks ago. It's starting to look dry and drop lots of needles now. Time to pack up and return to regular time. Boo. I like the magic and wish it could last a little longer. There's something about soft white twinkle lights that makes everything seem wonderful and happy.

The holidays tend to cause me some anxiety and tension, what with all the family visiting, trying to get together with everyone and spend as much time as possible with people we hardly ever get to see, the excess of gift-giving and food consumption...wow. It all adds up to make me want to crawl under a blanket in my comfy recliner and hide away.

So that is what I'm doing this week. I have set aside the plans I made to keep frantically knitting gifts and items for sale, ditched my plans to clean up the Etsy shop (for the moment), and dumped all thoughts of doing anything unpleasant. We have a couple of playdates lined up with friends and cousins, so I've vacuumed and straightened today. I intend to continue cleaning up a little each day, slowly packing away Christmas, easing into the new year.



After all the crazy holiday knitting, I feel compelled to pick up a hook for a change. I dug out the ziplock baggies of leftover 100% wool I've been stashing and began crocheting pretty little granny squares. SO easy, so fun, so satisfying. I've made about 20. I'll see how the color selection holds up. Maybe I'll put them together into a little blanket for AJ to snuggle under on very cold nights (100% wool is very warm, even with holes in it!), or maybe I'll pack them up and wait till the next time I have a whole bunch of leftovers and make lots and lots until I have an afghan's worth. Doesn't matter. What matters is that it's mindless and fun, and allows me to relax and ponder 2009 into 2010. As I stitch cluster after cluster my hands just know what to do, so I can mull over the past year, what I did well, where I could have done better, what I am thankful for...and consider 2010, thinking about what I'd like to accomplish over the next 12 months.

Nothing too intense, though. Mindless stitching, mindful work. A peaceful, calm end to a tumultuous year.

last of the knitted gifts (for Daughter)

I don't know about you, but I feel like I've been running around like a headless chicken these past few weeks.

Got a few more things done:


Knitted vest for Daughter. Free pattern from coats & clark website! (Too rushed to edit out the carpet in the pic, sorry.)


Knitted dolly sweater to match Daughter's vest.


Knitted dolly dress (from Handknit Holidays...a horrible, very poorly written/edited book, this pattern being no exception!)


Dolly petticoat (also from Handknit Holidays, mercifully this one was error-free.)


Dolly pullover, pattern found on Ravelry.

Now, in light of all that, I feel I deserve this:


A warm cup of (decaf) coffee, and some mindless dishrag knitting to relax with, while the children watch Rudolph for the seven-hundredth time.

Although there are still two days till Christmas...I could probably get another gift or two knitted...must fight the urge! Time to relax and enjoy!

(If anyone wants specific pattern/yarn info, leave a comment please, and I will answer. In a rush, trying to make this a quickie today!)

no time to blog...

Must



keep



knitting



for Christmas!

bleh

Ugh, we are sick AGAIN. Head colds for me & the kids this time around. If this keeps happening it's gonna be a loooooong winter.

Time to watch Tinkerbell for the seventy-hundredth time and try to catch a cat nap while the kids are otherwise occupied!

the best vest

I am so excited about this.



SO CUTE!

SO PREPPY!

My son will be sporting this wee vest for the Thanksgiving holiday. I love it, love it, love it.

Size 18 months, Patons Classic Merino in dark gray mix and cognac heather, US 7 needles. The pattern called for some kind of weird ribbing pattern, so I modified it to regular 2X2.

Did I mention that I love it??

The Nativity Story

Yesterday I sat down with Daughter, while she peacefully played with play doh, to try and gently explain "the reason for the season." As I started talking about going to church and celebrating baby Jesus' birth, she interrupted me.

So here is the Nativity Story, as told to me by Daughter, age 4.5:

"MOM, mom, mom, I know this story. Mary and Joseph looked for a place to stay. They went to the place but it was all stuffed with people. So the man pointed to where the cows and the donkeys and the horses stay. There they made a bed of straw for Mary in the hayloft. Then they went to sleep. But Mary woke up in the middle of the night, because she saw that the baby was born!"

(Daughter shrugs)

"And they wanted to name him Jesus."

So there you have it.



(Apparently Grandma has a book called "The Baby Jesus" and has read it with Daughter. I had no idea.)

just what i needed

It's amazing how bad a day can be, and then how equally good another can turn out.

Today I am basking in the glow of watching Daughter at her last swimming lesson, and being told by the teacher that she can move up to the next level after the holidays.

My to-do list got mostly accomplished over the weekend, and my family actually thanked me for scrubbing the bathroom.

Two nice, respectful, efficient men came to my house this morning and replaced our old, beat up, drafty, hollow-core wooden door that leads to the garage with a brand new, tight-fitting, fire-safe steel door in an hour and a half. My gosh, it looks gorgeous.

I took AJ for his second flu shot, and asked that he be quickly weighed. Turns out he is gaining steadily at about 1 lb/month, which is above average, even as we play around with his tube-feed calories to try and get him eating orally. Yes!

I am still reveling in thankfulness that the washing machine was not actually broken and did not require a several-hundred-dollar service call.

And the best, best, best thing - the mailman brought back the package containing two wool soakers I knit for an Etsy.com order and mailed over two weeks ago. The recipient moved and the forward didn't work for some reason. I thought the package got lost and I would have to reknit the items and mail them again at my cost. For some reason I was totally beside myself about it, and just about fell to my knees with relief and gratitude when the package showed up today. I will be re-sending the package priority mail with tracking this time!

Now I can make some tea, relax with the Christmas music playing on the radio, and work on the other knitting projects in the queue, while AJ naps and Daughter plays with play doh. Dinner is all ready (pulled bbq pork, defrosting, from a huge batch I made a few weeks back). The house is...well, it is clean enough! And there are no current laundry emergencies.

As you all know, I really, really, really needed a good day. And I am so thankful to be having one.

to do:

1. All on-line Christmas shopping
2. Any Christmas shopping that cannot be accomplished on-line (hopefully none)
3. Clean crusty bathrooms
4. Change burnt-out bulb in funky hanging hard-to-reach light fixture in bathroom
5. Finish washing sheets and remake beds
6. Finish AJ's Thanksgiving vest
7. Dress kids in Christmas outfits and take photo (do I trim AJ's hair before or after the photo attempt?)
8. Order Christmas photos
   
9. Empty dishwasher
10. Refill dishwasher
11. Make chili and cornbread for dinner
12. Divide and package up bulk meats purchased this morning and freeze
13. Iron
    
14. Make Christmas cookie list
15. Purchase and replace smoke/carbon monoxide detector that keeps beeping randomly for no reason
    
16. Figure out what to put in the advent calendar, especially for the baby (really, what can you give a baby?)
    
17. REMAKE two wool soakers to replace an Etsy order that apparently was lost in the mail
18. Get butt in gear working on rest of knits people have requested

Now, that does not all HAVE to be accomplished today, but most of it does. Tomorrow is Daughter's final swimming lesson, which will be the first time we have actually seen her swim (spectators are only allowed at the last one), and after that poor AJ will be so tired we'll have to shoot straight home for nap. This week is going to evaporate in a flurry of therapy, home repair (outside person coming in to do some work for us), and Thanksgiving. Then it will pretty much be December, so it's time to bust a move.

Things I am thankful for:

1. That I was able to diagnose the problem with the washing machine that I mentioned a few posts ago. I got lazy about replacing the lint filter on the drain hose, so the utility sink drain clogged up with lint, and was not draining properly. That caused the washing machine to back-fill with rinse water, so I had to manually re-run the spin cycle each load. Went to walmart last night for some drano, let it work overnight, replaced the lint filter today, and voila, we have a functional washing machine again. Take it from me: do not be lazy about replacing your washing machine lint filters.
   
2. My awesome mom, who made two pairs of mittens for my kids in about two days before leaving for her Vegas birthday adventure. Both kids need them, and I asked her to whip them up for use in the advent calendar, because I just do not have time to knit anything more right now. She rules.
   
3. The amazing weather we've been having, which has allowed us to keep the heat set at 60 degrees in the house. Our gas bill is low, our expenses are under control. It feels good.
4. The amazing markdowns in like, every store. I have been able to pick up some amazing bargains to feed and clothe my family in recent weeks, and our dollars are stretching farther than I thought they would, living in this more expensive place.

Ok, deep breath time. I'm off to begin chipping away at my to do list. And I'm going to try very, very hard to have a good week.

I hope you all do too!

it smells like vanilla barf

So far we have had a pretty nice day. Some friends came by for a quick playdate this morning, then mom stopped by after lunch so we could give her a little birthday present (she is 60 today! wow!), and now Daughter is painting while I scurry around tidying up.

But dammit, if my son's feeding tubes come apart in his crib ONE MORE TIME, you will hear me screaming wherever you are.

seeking peace (oh, and an F.O.!)

Thanks for all the kind words yesterday and today.

I guess what I am looking for in my life is some serenity. These other moms I read about in blogville seem to have the market cornered on serenity. That's really the best word I can think of to describe the feeling I get from these inspirational women...they and their children just appear to be so...serene.

I'll likely have a little more to say on that subject in the near future, as I've been perusing two books - "The Children's Year" and "Festivals, Family and Food" - and ruminating on what they say. I bought "The Children's Year" over the summer and have been slowly looking through it when I have a minute, and just got "F, F and F" from the library but I am heading over to Amazon after I finish this entry to buy my own copy. It is awesome. I think I'll also pick up "All Year Round" as these three books seem to go hand-in-hand. I just can't believe all the great, beautiful ideas they contain, from recipes to crafts, from songs and verses to clothing patterns, from fables and stories to directions for making household items we use often.

Today was a better day than yesterday...but I let Daughter lay around on the couch and watch two videos after lunch while AJ took his nap. Yeah, that's an ok thing to do, but not everyday. At least not for me, that's not what I want for my family all the time. So I am searching, searching, searching to find rhythm for our days that makes sense and makes us happy...something to help us find that elusive serenity.

I'm also going to do the very simple step of investing in some more storage for our toys and whatnot. Perhaps if it is better contained, and somewhat hidden away when not in use, then I will not feel so surrounded by it all the time. I'm also going to go through with Goodwill/trash bags and purge some stuff, Hubs' opinion be damned. I don't care if he does think I'm a cruel Scrooge. I'm the one who does the most battle with small plastic parts around here.

Also helping me feel some inner peace today are: the chicken soup simmering on the stove (smells divine), and Daughter's finished vest:



Loosely based on the baby vest pattern in "Knits, Knots, Buttons and Bows" just for rough measurements/stitch counts, but liberally adapted to suit my needs (such as knitting in the round...I hate seaming).



I made the ribbing into seed stitch because I think it's more feminine. I also used seed stitch around the armholes and neck, but need to steam it because it keeps curling in. She was so excited to wear it, she took it from me as soon as the last end was woven in.



I'm flattered that she likes it so much. She has even declared that she will wear it tomorrow as well "because it's not even dirty!"

I used about 1.5 skeins of Patons Classic Merino in woodrose heather, on US 7 needles. Next up (and cast on while Daughter watched Tinkerbell today), AJ's vest. I hope to have it done for him to wear on Thanskgiving.

bad mommy

I'm in the middle of a Bad Day.

I think it started when Daughter burst out of bed with even more than her usual verve...oh wait, no, it actually started when AJ found Daughter's little guitar leaning up against the couch where she left it last night, and then did a face plant when he tried to use it for a walking support. I had my back turned (OF COURSE) so I did not see the actual fall, just the bleeding chin and goose-egged forehead that followed. THEN Daughter came flying to see what the hubbub was about. And was snotty with me when I asked her to head back upstairs to change out of her pull-up. ("Mom, I just came down here. Do you really think I want to go back upstairs?")

Then, while we were having breakfast, we noticed we did not hear the shower, and discovered that Hubs was still snoring right through his alarm. Daughter went up to goose him, and once he got himself ready for work it somehow became my fault that he was running late. ("Why did you guys let me oversleep?") Excuse me, grown man, but your alarm has been going off for 2 hours...I already have 2 children to care for in the morning, I am not taking on wake-up duty for the other adult in the household.

Then we somehow ended up running late ourselves, for a library Thanksgiving event at 10:30. On the way out the door Daughter managed to step on AJ's fingers. I spent what felt like an inordinate amount of time bundling everyone into their warm outerwear, only to have them rip most of it off the second the car started. Got to the library just at 10:30 and had to do that inelegant dance of rebundling the children and stuffing the small one into the stroller while making sure the big one didn't get hit by a car.

During the event the adorable wee girl sitting next to Daughter kept coming out with this horrible, deep, wet chest cough. Great.

And is there a full moon? Because I've never experienced such poorly behaved children in my life. Kids were literally doing somersaults and skipping around the room while their parents mooned at the ceiling or wrangled their smaller kids. In what was perhaps my best moment of the day, I noted that both my children were behaving beautifully. However, I did feel slight annoyance that the woman leading the event chose to read a Dora book and a Clifford book, which were both only loosely about Thanksgiving. Dora the explorer? I would think we would hear a story about Pilgrims and Indians. I realize it's not PC, but it is the whole basis of the holiday, no?

Got in line to check out our books afterwards, then moved off to the side to get bundled up again. A dad from the storytime event said, "you in line?" And I said, "oh, I'm sorry, no!" and moved over a bit more. And then he said, "PHHHT! I've been standing here behind you!" Whoops, I guess it's my fault that you're an idiot, dude.

And then we came home, and while Daughter ate lunch AJ really did not, and instead cried and cried. And I just got angry. I got more and more irritated and angry trying to get him to eat, and he was smearing baby food all over his face and in his hair, and I was just so mad about it. Finally I gave up, washed him off, and put him in his seat for the stupid tube feeding. Then I emptied the dishwasher with a liberal amount of cupboard door slamming and silverware clattering, and started crying halfway through because the day was just sucking so much and it was only 12:30.

In the next 30 minutes I cleaned the entire kitchen, and vacuumed everywhere because, oh joy, we had PT today for AJ. Which he does not even need anymore but I don't know how to get out of it. And she comes at 1:30, which is totally his naptime now that he doesn't sleep in the morning anymore. And today? Today she was almost 15 minutes LATE.

Daughter has been crabbing and whining at me (no surprise, she is totally feeding off my mood) so I finally made her lie down on the couch - she is now sound asleep but I hear the baby fussing upstairs.

The washing machine has decided the spin cycle is for suckers, and I just found a load of diapers sitting in about 4 inches of water (clean rinse water, thankfully), even though the dial says the cycle is complete.

I'm not even looking forward to the holidays because it will just be a month of trying to keep the baby from hurting himself in/on/around/hanging from the Christmas tree. And then more stuff will come into our house, and where am I going to put more stuff?? We have too much stuff as it is. I want to get rid of a bunch of it, but I am accused of being a cruel scrooge when I suggest that perhaps we could donate some old toys and stuffed animals. (Also, as an aside, my MIL dropped off the kids' Christmas outfits last week. If you've been reading here long enough, you know what I really mean when I say I appreciate the thought [even though she bought Daughter a 3T and AJ a 6-9 month size].)

You know, this is totally a 24 hour job, and while men's jobs have generally gotten easier and less physical over the years, women's jobs have not. Sure, we have washing machines and dishwashers, but otherwise? I mean, I don't yet have a self-scrubbing bathroom, do you? I don't have babies that can dress or bathe themselves, or change their own stinky diapers. And while generations ago women were expected to stay home and do their work (with the help of their children as soon as they were big enough, I might add), now we also have to run errands and take our kids to events, and if we demand that they do some chores we're being unreasonable and mean. And I can't just let it go, people, because I have therapists coming into my home several days each week. I'm not going to allow my home to descend into a sloppy mess. I just can't. The rug has to be vacuumed if someone is going to be crawling around on it with my baby. The booster seat and surrounding floor cannot be caked with old food if someone is going to be working there with my baby.

I just don't feel happy and joyful. I feel like a maid. Daughter is becoming mouthy and obstinate, and while it pains me, it doesn't surprise me. Again, she feeds off her examples. I want to be a good mom, I really do. Not just in the general providing food, clean clothes, and shelter kind of way, but the creative, stimulating, fun kind of way. I'm just not sure how to do that when the work seems never to get done. We are so cluttered, and I never want to even get the paints out or play with playdough because oh my gosh, I don't need more mess. Which is a terrible attitude!!! I don't want to have that attitude!

Ugh! This is just such a rotten feeling day.

Ok, ok, dinner is at least in the oven (roast chicken and cheesy potatoes, don't you want to come over? You know you do!) and both children are still asleep. Which bodes poorly for bedtime but whatever. I'm going to sit down and knit a few rows and try to fix my head.

Thanks for 'listening.' I feel a bit better blowing this all out.

why I am not able to blog very much just now

Oh boy. I've got a teething, mobile, wild man on my hands. You guys. AJ has, in the last week, gained the ability to CLIMB THE ENTIRE FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

Yes, that's right. My poor, weak, low-tone baby, who one year ago could not lift his head from the mattress, can now scramble up the entire flight of stairs to our second floor without batting an eye. One day his big sister was sitting a few steps up talking to me, and he wanted to get to her, so he just up and did it.

This kid is AMAZING.

He also took about 3 totally solo steps a few nights ago, but hasn't repeated that feat. He is an absolute tornado of activity every minute he is awake. In fact, he is starting to really dislike having to sit still in his baby seat for feedings, which I am hoping to use to my advantage as he grows and understands more about what is happening. Maybe once he can understand that the choices are to eat food or sit still for 45 minutes, he will come around.

I took both kids for their first H1N1 flu shots today (now praying that was the right choice, of course), and they are both out, so this is precious mommy free time. Which I am going to use to clean the disgusting kitchen floor under the table, and finish laundry, and clean the bathrooms, but I really quickly wanted to post something pretty.



I finished one Christmas stocking for my sis and her husband. It still needs a hanging loop, and a good wash 'n block, but it's done. Yay! This is made from about 1.25 skeins of Wool-Ease in cranberry, on US 7 needles. I wanted to use all wool, but couldn't find the colors locally and did not want to wait for an order to arrive. I needed to get going on the holiday knits. Only what, 6 weeks till Christmas? We've had such unseasonably warm weather it doesn't feel like holiday time at all.

Ok, so now the order of operations is: finish vest for Daughter (almost done), make vest for AJ, make second Christmas stocking, make sweater for baby of Hubs' boss, make ornaments*, make mittens for AJ, make knitted items for Etsy shop (I am dreaming of longies).

*Wee glitch in the holiday gift plans: one of our therapists is Jewish, but because her husband is not, I had thought they put up a Christmas tree. But they do not, they just get Christian holiday treats from their grandparents, but not in their home. ANYWAY, was going to make ornaments and give them with a Starbucks card or something. Can I still do that? I was going to make the wee sweater ornament to hold the gift card. Should I still plan that, and just make it in blue & white instead of traditional Christmas colors?